Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact vengeance...

Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact vengeance. The object to your right is what you base your hero identity off of.

What have you become?

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youtube.com/watch?v=v6Qok3_XdQ8
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Coke Can Man
I will, umm, clean the bathroom that is this city from the filth that is crime!

>The Binder

I'll punch holes in people and throw them in storage.

Doesn't sound too different from batman, really.

>Toilet paper

Fuck.

They call me.... BLACK COFFEE

>black bear beanie baby

...huh.

Come to think if it, we don't have a lot of bear-themed superheroes, do we?

...

>Upton Sinclairs "The Jungle"
I guess I can now transform into a giant Lithuanian with meat packing skills. Based in the stockyards of Chicago I fight corrupt businessmen, and the villains who manifest from the slums. However, I can never change society, as I refuse to alter the status quo because I believe I can make it in America if only I work harder. I shall be known simply as "The Hog"

the niu mug
I pour stuff on people

>A lamp
I'll blind them with my pale, white light, then smash there face with a lamp

A Glass of Pickles

CELL PHONE MAN
Iphone for your ass

>A beverage coaster
Aww fuck
>It's a promo item of a band youtube.com/watch?v=Rg0DLUO9-Pw
>On the flipside is ad for their tar liquor
Melancholy and suit with flask in pocket, only grim sadness will follow me and it will reach the bastards that caused this. It will not end well, not for anyone.

>a shot glass

I become Glass Cannon, which would really just be a shiny guy with a gun.

>Upton Sinclairs "The Jungle"
That's what I have, get the fuck out of my room.

>my embroidery
Most I can think of is using human skin as a canvas

>Paper
They shall fear the wrath of Paper Cut Man.

>A Newton's Cradle

I fight crime with physical and pendulums.

Did you know the Japanese had an execution method where they paper cut a victim to death

>a hair brush
Well shit, I've got nothing.

The empty half gallon jug!

Actually i didn't, was it like the death of thousand cuts as to inflict as much pain as possible?

There are many objects to my right, I'll let you guys pick for me.
>Fish hooks
>Deoderant
>Tissues
>Loafers
>Water bottle
>Notebooks

The object to my right is the aluminium foil left over from a roll of Rolos...

Erm if I hold the foil at the right angle I might just be able to use the sun to dazzle my parents' murder and on cloudy days showing him the foil might make him feel bad I ate all the Rolos

>a toilet


FUCK

>Who are you?
>I'm your number one fan.

>>Fish hooks
Baitman, the hero who lures villains to their doom with inescapable attractions in elaborate traps.

A delicious sandwich dipped in au jus

We should team up.

>Clock
Hope you're ready for time puns.

>read op
>quick look to right
>can of change and toilet paper

fuck it no vengeance for me

>blank piece of paper

Yes, Father. I shall become......the Canvas!

The Flip Phone, an acrobat with powers of telepathy.

I think I'm a shitty knock off

>Object to my right
>Only thing there is my sleeping, much younger brother and a wall

I become The Brother. Guess I can try to help people out as much as I can, lead them and mislead crooks to good decisions and paths, and avoid killing or seriously hurting people. Giving them a proper beating if they really fuck up is fine.

Doesn't really work with my vengeance MO though.

>The Kapo

I have a supernaturally strong grip and can hold on to moving vehicles and crush people's skulls and necks.

...

If I rolled a cardboard box, can I be solid snake?

Bass guitar, I basically become Jack Black's video game character. Or El Kabong.

You forgot the part where you embrace socialism in the last 3 pages and everything's gravy. Reading the book I understand why people focused more on the food part of meatpacking rather than the workers plight. Sinclair spends entire pages dedicated to vividly describing the unsanitary conditions of the plants while the socialism meeting is deus ex machina tier

kek

>Ctrl+ F
>Dresser
No Finds

>Co i am disappoint. I am therefore Dresser Man!

>wall
>The Wall
I can make this work.

...

>An Allen wrench

Well shit, Allen Wrench isn't any worse than Coriander or any other punny superhero names. And think of the gadgets, the sweet sweet gadgets.

How uncreative. Here, this is a way cooler use of piece-of-paper powers.
youtu.be/M0wFIjq30h8

The Chair Man!

A Vending machine
>I have myself delivered near my enemy's residence
>Disguise a poison as their favorite beverage

>Towel Boy
With a little water, I can either towel whip or waterboard my foes

Kleenex Man, swiping off the (s)cum of the Earth.

But wait, wouldn't that make my earlier post...

...I'm so sorry...

Altoids. They make me curiously strong to refresh the breath of this city getting rid of criminals.

>ear buds
I guess I'm Buddy. And I can listen to sweet jams while fighting crime.

Scissor Man! I cut down Crime.

> wooden floor
welp, as they say, in Soviet Russia the floor hits the bodies

The Mechanical Pencil.

I stab you with a mechanical pencil. And I write poetry.

fear me, for I am

Empty Bag of Pretzels Man

>a pillow
I will go around in a pillows armor to choke criminals to death.
I am vengeance! I am the night! I am... Cushion Man!

>Deodorant
Oh Yeah!

>pretzel lid
I pray to God that the plastic holds and he keeps his gun in a large lidless pretzel jar.

>Stapler
That sounds horrifying

...Well. At least it's fitting.

>fidget spinner

Behold, BOY MAN BOY.

>companion cube plush
I bring comfort to people

Your friendly neighborhood Pillow Guy

The Chair

Come to think about, that's actually very useful. Chairs are everywhere, they never cause any suspicion and are actually quite dangerous in right hands.

Matress Master
I can pick up a mattress with 1 hand and swing it effortlessly

Theres just a wall to my right.

Wallman.

I guess it could be worse.

Phone Man. I guess I could call the police.

Same but Android.

>magazine article about how to massage a cat
I'm drawing a blank. It's attached to a shelf though, so I guess I could be Shelf Man and just sort of fall onto enemies and crush them. Then after they're arrested I can go to their house and massage their cat.

>the dreamcatcher
cool

...

Printer Man. Foes will be copied, scanned, and printed to their defeated!

> a piece of chicken
I AM THE RED ROOSTER!

>A Broom and Dustpan
I shall be come the Janitor, and I shall sweep these Streets free of the Dirt of Evil! They may try to sway my hardened Heart with begging and Bribery, but in the Filthy container they call a soul they know it will be futile, Becuase they will know that
>He does it for free

Hm

>A Radiator

You know depending on how I play this that could be pretty badass.

Man that is some shit taste in the other tabs

>Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact vengeance
Implying anyone here actually cares for their parents. I love my parents but i'm sure im the minority here

i am Piss Jug Superfan

>Driving Theory Test/Highway Code Book
I will be Highway Test, and I will manipulate signs, tamper with roads, hack cameras and tinker with auto-mobiles so that there will be only one way to pass: into the Afterlife.

I wonder how the "no-killing" policy will work on him.

I love my parents.

youtube.com/watch?v=nc7c7Cdfjik

youtube.com/watch?v=v6Qok3_XdQ8

Watch Man
Time is on my side

>Charger
I'm basically static shock now but with wires

Dayquil Guy.
My parents won't be getting avenged any time soon.

>Your parents have been horribly murdered and you need to exact vengeance. The object to your right is what you base your hero identity off of.

maybe I should take out the trash.

>jazz bass
By the power of the moves and the grooves, I am Bassline!

I'm pretty sure your superhero name is FLCL.

>Payphone man
I huck change at my foes

why the fuck is there even a payphone near you

>Futon
I AM BED BUDDY! SLEEP ON ME!

Waiting for the train

>external hard drive filled with a terabyte of tokusatsu

It will be done.

>hardcover of Bandette
Looks like I'm a master theif.
Question is, do I dress up like Bandette too?

>A can of peanuts
I'm the Nutcracker. I hit villains in the nuts.

THE WALL...IS CLOSING IN ON CRIME
NO CRIMINAL CAN TEAR DOWN THE WALL
THE WALL SUPPORTS DONALD J. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT.

>USB cable
I got nothing