Hogwarts pets

>students can bring an owl, cat or toad (with some exceptions)
Lets's assume 40% of the students bring pets at all. Half of them bring cats, which is 20% of the total student population. There is definitely not enough room in the commons for the cats to roam without fighting with one another, and if the cats are let free to roam the castle or the campus grounds they are at risk of danger as well. What are you supposed to do with your cat?

its a magic cat

No!

dull question for the dullest franchise

>What are you supposed to do with your cat?
pet it and feed it?

how many dead cats does hagrid have to clean up a week? also don't those animals hate each other?

Why an owl and not a crow? Crows are the smartest birds, and heavily related to magic, spirits and stuff just like the owls.

where's the copypasta it should be here by now

In regards to proper living arrangements idiot

You were never meant to think about it this in depth. It's a children's book.

Cats fight but rarely kill one another. They just establish a hierarchy and then leave each other alone for the most part. I worked with cats for years, I almost never had a cat come in that was killed or maimed by another cat, it was always a dog. It’s why hoarders will have 50 of them in a small house and they only die from being crushed by shit in the house. For some reason cats don’t kill each other, that’s a dog thing.

Why are all your threads so utterly garbage mobile zach?

In the books there's like 10 kids in each house.

Harry Potter and cats go hand-in-hand -- cataracts that is, which is what you'll get from watching the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody -- just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Yeah that's what I'm waiting for, I'm not creative enough to make it

What was the ministry of magic's tax policy on these pets?

Crows are just owls for edgelords.

Most people bring owls because they can deliver mail. In movie 4 they show the building where they keep everybody's owls and there's many owls

Toads get kept in the green house idk what to do about cats but there's magic here so I'm sure they can figure this out

Not really, when cats fight over territory or females the fight ends when one flees, the most the winner does is chase the cat and kind of swipe at it. Cats are apex predators, and a common thing about apex predators is they very rarely like to fight to the death, they more often stop, and a lot of them are afraid of serious injury. Some don’t follow that mindset, but as a general rule, it’s not common to see cats kill each other. Trust me, I’ve pulled hundreds of cats out of a small house where they’re packed in there, for some reason they rarely seriously injure one another.

>but muh crows

Crows are seen as an omen, owls aren’t. Owls are seen as holders of wisdom, and crows are viewed as harbingers of doom or a precursor to decay.

Owl would clearly the OP pet. none of the others could bring you your mail

right on schedule fucker

Owls would also kill and eat every other animal you can bring, Ive seen birds of prey kill cats.

>or maimed by another cat
I have ferals in my neighborhood that will beat the fuck out of each other

based

10/10

Even if the cats weren't fighting, they'd be pissing up a storm. The whole place would smell like cat piss top to bottom, but I suppose that's normal for England.

how do they make it so hogwarts doesn't smell like animal shit all the time? birds aren't known for crapping in toilets. are there giant liter boxes in the common areas of each house? how do they use heat lamps for the toads if there's no electricity?

Hogwarts is in scotland place probably reeks of piss, heroin and kfc

i wanna rub her pusy

They'd probably allow it. Owls can crush a grown adult's forearm and are the worst birds to raise by far so any other bird should be on the table.

>and they only die from being crushed by shit in the house.
Or from getting food poisoning after eating the face off of their rotting owner.

>a story about literal fucking magic
>BUTTT HOW DID DEY FIT ALL DEM CATZ THO?

They also need owls to shitpost.

Elf slave labor cleans up all the shit

The owls are kept in a big room in the topmost tower.

>tfw they won't let me take my albatross

The castle is actually a big living creature that eats da poopoo

what about the cats? are there stray cats in hogwarts? do you have to get your cat spayed and neutered?

what about the toads? hogwarts looks like a colder climate in north england, how are they able to keep warm blooded animals there year round?

>warm blooded
cold blooded*

triple dubs has now confirmed this as canon

I doubt many people would keep frogs so there would only need to be room for one big tank, they wouldn't fight each other.

Yeah they’ll fight but it’s rare to kill one another.

Why are the children fed like George RR Martin every night, yet the obesity rate seems normal?

Cats are naturally content at Hogwarts because they are magical creatures. They won't cause a fuss.

Magic can make healthy food taste good.

>Healthy food doesn't taste good
what

so they don't fuck? is there some sort of spell that's been cast on hogwarts to stop things from fucking? how long does it last? does it cause there to be lots of girls who miss their later years because it wears off when they go home for break and get their holes pounded? what are the ethics of altering student's mental states without their consent? was dumbledor just as bad as voldemort in that sense?

Not only are crows among the smartest, but Owls are actually retarded.

I always assumed they needed to be fixed before they came to the school, but that would have to follow the answer to my original question in the OP.

They are repulsive too, the only worse birds are vultures. The owlry alone would make the entire castle smell like a farm full of shit and dead animals, even if it were in a well ventilated room at the very top.

The HP series inspired many retards to get "pet" owls in real life. And guess what? They are not whimsical little cuddly creatures they are fucking predators. They tear up everything they land on because they have ridiculously sharp talons. When you feed them they utterly gut and eviscerate their prey and they also like to hide carcasses "for later" and forget about them.
I never understood where the whole "wise owl" thing came from.
They have keen senses but that's about where it ends, because they are mostly on the lower spectrum of bird intelligence.

Same way with almost every animal being romanticized. Almost no animal exhibits any traits they’re typically associated with. The eagle is a cowardly apex predator that will almost always run from any fight that could be described as fair. Most apex predators are extremely cowardly, as are many animals given heroic or brave characterizations.

Owls are the symbol of an ancient elite cult who rule the world from the shadows.

>a letter exists that just screams whatever you write in it for everyone to hear
>explodes if you don't open it
yeah I'm sure that's never been abused before

"No!"

If you want a pet bird that will fuck somebody up, get a cassowary. It is easentially a modern velociraptor. Ostritches can be aggressive too but are just as likely to try and rape you.

Same shit happened with Dalmatians and Clown Fish. Dalmatians are big dogs with lots of energy that are really hard for little kids to domesticate and clown fish need expensive saltwater aquariums to live.

seed it and feed it
unless you're chuck

They used to, but then one Monty Python fan got into the kitchens, and they ruined it for everybody. Expensive birds mean massive settlements.

I was waiting for this

>buy a pet cat when your friend that you spend 90% of the time with owns a pet rat
What a cunt.

What else do you do with a pussy? Stroke it, of course.

Ron't rat was almost as bad as Ron himself