Why didn't Voldemort just DEH

Why didn't Voldemort just DEH

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D E H

Deh? More like one of deh dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

The visualisation of that scene is so fucking weird and cringe. Like the director had a stroke.

Why do I get the feeling that this post is OP too...

All of it was surreal. Odd choice to go with that weird background, Voldemort dancing in front of green screen randomly shouting DEH or GEH. Was this also the one where he turns up in a tailored suit at platform 9 3/4 for no reason?

DEH

youtube.com/watch?v=pDyXZuvMaFc

I'm glad this exists

Boxxy for lyfe

Based Ralph Fiennes really did not give a fuck, he made weird noises literally every other sentence. Every even with Voldy was entertaining.

Those sequences were meme tier

*Every scene

BASED PASTAPOSTER

NYEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

All those fucking NYEAHs
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That whole ministry sequence after Harry collapses is just bizarre as fuck. And cringy.

>"You'll never know love, or friendship"

HARRY POTTER IS DEAD


GYEH HEH HEH

:3

What did they mean by this?

what the fuck

thats genius. im gonna try it.

Was this before or after Hogwarts was built? Because I'm pretty sure Salazar Slytherin needed the plumbing when he built the Chamber of Secrets so he could move his Basilisk through the tunnels. Surely wizards had plumbing in 900 AD

JK's just a fucking hack. Wizards have only been separate from muggles since the 1690s, the fucking Romans had toilets, it's unthinkable anyone would consider something so foul, especially considering the conservative nature of their society.

What was Hermione´s prime year?

Should have rolled credits here

When she turned 18 of course.
Azkaban

I don't get it, why did Voldy die from simply getting expelliarmus'd? He still had a part of his soul inside himself after Neville destroyed the last horcrux. Why would he just turn to ash instead of needing to be killed?

I heard his body stayed in the floor in the book, but the movie made him dissapear probably for "muh feels"

the elder wand turned on him, "muh spelliarmus" transferred its ownership and it killed him when he tried to use it

The soul inside his body was the last bit left. After all the horcruxes were destroyed he was just a mortal man with a single piece of soul, so he could die like any other person. Harry rebounded the killing curse Voldemort cast, causing him to die.
And yes, the movie made him explode for effect, in the book he dies on the spot and slumps over which is much more fitting for a man who spent his whole life evading something so common as death.

The book was much more satisfying, he turned out to be mortal after all and hit the ground with a dull thud, they put his corpse in a closet or something because they didn't want it near the bodies of their loved ones that were lost fighting him.

>Why would he just turn to ash instead of needing to be killed?
I really, really hated the movie, but in various fanfictions that were clearly inspired by it they usually attribute it to his body simply being a magical creation made from blood, a severed hand and bone dust and without his soul and therefore his magic holding it together, it just disintigrated.

Are the books worth re-reading? I read them all as they came out but I have a shit memory so I could probably enjoy them again. I just rewatched the movies and they're comfy but they probably leave out a lot of stuff and rush the shit out of some things

Why didn't Harry or Hogwarts just call SWAT or SpecOps and just shoot Voldemort or drone strike them instead?

Both movies and book are dull

It's been a few years for me but I enjoyed them last time I went through them, they're a lot more "day (year) in the life of a wizard" than the movies and have much better characterisation. Reading the books is also guaranteed to make you prefer Harris' Dumbledore and wish he lived long enough to do Order of the Phoenix (the magical fights also work a lot better as text than CGI).

Because they're useless apes and Voldemort would turn them into mindless drones with passive legillimency alone.

They're worth a re-read for sure. There's a lot of stuff they cut from the films, serious plot points, side plots, character development and interaction, plenty of comfy daily life classes, all of which were cut. If you're not into reading I really recommend the audio books read by Stephen Fry. If you commute to work or school it's great to listen to the audio books, and even if you don't, they're the best thing to listen to in bed at night right before you drift off to sleep.

I'd cut off a testicle just to spend the night here

Were Ron and Harry that big of losers their first year?

Can you really imagine Harris dueling with Voldemort though? I get that Michael Gambon was a shitty dumbledore, and Harris is /ourguy/ but Harris was fucking elderly. No way he could have done any of those theatrics.

Yeah I'm sure he couldn't, but the essence of Dumbledore was that he's just a kindly and eccentric old man, but when Voldemort shows up he's Gandalf on steroids and everyone is always shocked at how he moves like a 21 year old when he means business.

Eh it's Christmas, most of their friends had left for the holidays. The guys in the front were likely older students who generally didn't talk to the first years much. Fred, George and Percy were there though.

The best thing about Dumbledore was his always calm demeanor, which would once or twice show the fierce all-powerful man that hid behind that mask. They totally wrecked those scenes which were really powerful in the books, those few moments that kind old man would show his true colours. His anger at Barty Jr, his expression when telling Harry about Neville's parents, his duel at the ministry, those were all made great because of the slip between old man to fucking beast.

They really fucked up the order of the phoenix movie.

>so much wasted potential
>didn't show Ginny straight up murdering a death eater
>spent 2 hours bullshitting about Umbridge, spends last 40 minutes on ministry shit

Why the fuck was he so mad that Harry's name was in the Goblet? That was bizarre.

The movie ministry duel was fucking cool as shit though

If I remember right people were butthurt about Harry losing them a bunch of points at that part in the movie/book or something similar.

But yeah first year Harry had a lot of people avoiding him.

Because being overly emotional was the name of the game in that movie. Aside from the graveyard scene, it's difficult to even watch that movie. Also, muh boy!!

Longest book, shortest film. God knows what made them think that was okay.

Not nearly as cool as in the book, where Dumbledore showed his hinted at mastery of Transfiguration to make the statues come to life to protect Harry. The film just turned into generic water and fire spells, omitting so much of the build up Dumble got throughout the books.

Book 4 was one of my favorites and they fucking butchered it.

Because dark magicks were afoot

fuck you fucking autist, there`s no Hogwarts, no before or after that shit, not Salazar Slytherin, no chamber of nothing, no Basilisk, no wizards, it´s just a fucking book series with an obvious shiton of plotholes everywhere because it`s fucking imaginary, get over it, fucking aspie.

This is pretty ironic. You're showcasing a more literally autistic personality than that guy is

Hey remember when Rowling just pretended that the Deathly Hallows were a thing in book 7? "What's that, Harry, you never heard of this SUPER FAMOUS BED TIME STORY THAT DEFINITELY DIDN'T JUST BECOME PART OF THE PLOT?"

I agree. They managed to get that part right. Part of me wishes that they didn't have Bellatrix use the killing curse on Sirius. I liked how Sirius was just there one moment and gone the next. He wouldn't have even had time to register that he was about to die.

My favorite part of book 4 is when Harry is sitting with Dumbledore and some other guys at a feast, and Dumbledore talks about how he found the room of requirement as a kid. Basic shit like that really gave the books their personality. The movies just never had that.

I knew I was in for a shit show when they made all of that fuss building up to the Quidditch World Cup and then...

It's not unbelievable. Harry was only a part of the wizarding world during school semesters, why should he know about some wizard childhood story like that when he's always lived with muggles?

Compare it to the real world, I'm sure there are some immigrants from totally different cultures who don't know about Aesop's Fables and that kind of shit

>It's not unbelievable.
No, just bad writing

This is the correct answer. Books 1 and 2 are basically the same, 3 is awful because of twisty plot-hole time-travel garbage, leaving 4 as the genuine best before the books became not worth the reading. As for the movies....only the first two were any good, and then they just got lazy because they knew people would watch anyway.

Third movie was fantastic.

Deathly Hallows was garbage. The whole plot of the elder wand, not to mention wand ownership was completely retarded

>If you take someones wand from them, it now belongs to you
>what about that dueling club in the first or second movie, have all those kids been using wands that no longer are allegiant to them?

JK Rowling is a mongoloid

Third movie was the first with a proper director though, and actually had some great cinematography.

it`s not ironic at all, i`m also autistic, but not in the same way.

GoF was incredible for me. But then they cut out Bagman, left out all of Barty Jr's plot and it all resulted in the worst book-to-film adaptation I've ever seen.

As a guy who doesn't remember anything about the book, the movie was very enjoyable

Bookfags are always far too critical and could never be happy with anything less than a 10-hour exact adaptation

You have legitimately bad taste, its usually recognized as the weakest film in the series.

Why was Prisoner of Azkaban so fucking EDGY?

>that impossibly awkward three seconds in Deathly Hallows where Harry meets Hagrid for the first time in like three movies and they just hug, shrug awkwardly, and move on
SO many scenes felt tacked on in the later movies.
ALSO, did anyone else do a spit-take in the fifth movie when Hermione says, "You've done it Neville, you've found the Room of Requirement!" with literally no mention of any such thing in the movie at any point? God so many things were retarded in the movies.

Because the director whose name I can't spell was probably instructed to make it "more grown up" or something.

>First two are decent kids movies
>third is kind of boring, and has time travel plot which ruins the entire series.
>rest are mediocre, all because they could never settle on a tone.

...

Terrible werewolf monster chases, the boggart scene, pointless design changes, and they broke canon with casual wand-free magic. To top it off, they didn't even wear their uniforms. Cinematography is nothing when faced with poor decisions.

Cinematography is everything when the plot of the movie is so retarded it introduced time turners being given to a girl struggling with homework.

Can't argue with that one.

4 and 5 were pretty mangled, but 6 was absolutely murdered

>cut out all of Tom Riddle's backstory except for a few lame flashbacks

>most boring fucking one

>only semi explained who voldemort really was.

I get that your average normie wouldn't understand who the Gaunt family was, but the movie could have used more of his backstory and less of the boring shit.

whose fucking idea was it to give a 3rd year 13 year old student a fucking time turner?

>She can't make it to all of her classes on time. Do we knock a few off her schedule? No, let's give her the power to fucking time travel.

J.K Rowling must have been half asleep when writing 3.

Don't forget the early books were literally just whimsical children's stories that weren't meant to stand up to logical analysis. As the tone got darker and more geared towards teens and adults, the consistency of the world she had created fell apart. It's all nonsense when you look at it now, years later and with the full series to flip through, but it was just meant for kids at the start, and most kids would love the ability to travel through time.

>To top it off, they didn't even wear their uniforms
This. From the third film and forward it didn't feel like a parallel magical universe anymore, but more like movies about a regular boarding school in England.

>stopped wearing their uniforms
>layout of the castle changed with every fucking director
>started wearing normie 2010's clothes despite it taking place in the 90s

Seriously, it gets awful. Especially in the last few movies when you can see kids with modern haircuts and glasses. Fuck continuity.

If Voldemort can turn people into horcruxes, why didn't he turn Bill Clinton into his horcrux. He was president at the time. Do you really think Harry would have assassinated the president to kill Voldemort?

I would have loved to see the Gaunts. Whoever made the movie couldn't even argue that it was cut for time, given that they devoted all of that time to the attack on the Burrow.

Kek. But in all fairness, how much of a brainlet are you?

Ass Cabin was boring as shit, and this is coming from a fan of Cuarón. His name is the only reason pretend that movie was good.

>BRAAAAAAAAP

Why didn't Voldemort turn a grain of sand into his horcrux then throw it to the bottom of the ocean, Harry would never find it then. Gillyweed wouldn't last long enough for him to swim down there.

Or why not turn the moon into a horcrux, then Harry would of had to blow up the whole moon and pretty much destroy the world to stop Voldemort.

>He was very aware of everybody watching him closely. Snape made a soft noise of impatient disbelief in the
what fucking awful writing

I wish we could always have a HP general thread up

Why does zachary keep making these soy threads or is it the women children from reytumblro?

I don't like the books much, but those two sentences aren't exactly terrible. There are plenty of better examples.

there isnt any other book dialogue in the thread so back the FUCK off

No mean-posting allowed in this thread, apologize

"No!"

I like the books but Harry is a real perceptive motherfucker. He notices the how people's colour changes when he's talking to them and the slightest change in facial expressions.

Of course it's just to paint a picture to the reader but still.