Why didn't they just throw the ring in the bin?

Why didn't they just throw the ring in the bin?

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W...what?
Why nobody has ever think about this before?

Why didn't Frodo just ask God for guidance?

why didn't they just fly to mordor

why didn't gandalf use a magical spell to teleport the ring inside mount doom?

Were the eagles an arse pull?

.why didn't gandal

humans are sterile

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream ...

could be fined for putting recyclable materials int he rubbish bin... but Bilbo doesn't have a recycling bin because orcs stole it

they didn't invent the recycle bin yet

where was the police?

kino literature

On the menu

How did they know what a menu was?

This is so retarded, it may just work.

>just throw it in the bin
this is actually why gandalf decided against giving the ring to tom bombadil

They did, the only bin in the land is the volcano in Mordor.

Because sauron would not die until it was destroyed not matter how long you hide it. Also the nazgul knew it was somewhere in the shire. They would find it eventually.

Sauron would have seen them coming and mobilised the nazgul to intercept plus the entire army would have been waiting around Mt Doom ready to shoot them down.

How did the Hobbits know how to order beer at a human tavern?

because hobbits ARE human

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_floresiensis

>The species was formerly thought to have survived on Flores at least until 12,000 years before present

Why didn't everyone just get together and cum on the ring? Then if Sauron tried to take it he'd be gay.

Stop being dumb.

A real question is how were the hobbits able to hold their own against goblins in the moria fights with zero combat experience.

And Uruk-hai are a magically cross-bred human orc.

Why did the fellowship “have” to let Frodo go on alone?
>large ferocious packs of Uruk hai everywhere
>nazgul like homing misses seeking the ring
>some rando thief could run into Frodo kill him and steal everything
Makes no sense

I think Uruk Hai are Elvish-orcs, no?

Uruk-hai are 56% american mutts

DONT BE A DING
BIN THAT RING

>Bin that ring! Cops across Middle Earth are searching halflings and non-humans alike in front of popular eateries and taverns in an effort to stem violence related to rings of power, reports the Rohan Times.

Goblins were the lowest tier of the orcish races. They're probably the equivalent of a Hobbit in martial prowess, but they succeed due to numbers. In the mines they mostly pick out stragglers or lone wolf gobbos and they fight back to back at one point. As soon as they're separated, well you saw what happened.

no_fun.gif

Orcs were mutated and twisted versions of elf and man. Uruk-hai were just taking it further by enhancing what was already there.

Why didnt Dwarfs just pay their taxes?

better nutrition due to superior organic shire diet and they had the numenorean dagger-swords that Tom Bombadil (Gandalf in the movie) gave them

Fuck are taxes you stupid knife-ear?

>lol god flicked the ring away
Tolkienfags will defend this.

Aragorn's tax policy forced spending cuts

The joke was that in a human tavern everything was bigger, so Merry ordered a pint, which was more than they could get at the Green Dragon. Americans wouldn't understand this of course.

Why not tie the ring to a big stone and chuck it in the sea?

t. George RR Martin
It was a stealth mission.

Some will, some won't.

Sauron would've found it.

>paying taxes

how?
a giant tower eye can't dive

Like the deepest fucking part of the sea?

No one's finding that mate

he has many servants and he would have gotten a fel creature of the deep to serve him

The giant eye at the top of the tower was a hackson invention. Sauron had a (weak) body. The eye was just his symbol and a metaphor.

Because the ring needed to be destroyed in order for them to be successful. Wow, next time actually pay attention to the movie, you moron.

sauron now lives forever and cant be killed because the ring isnt destroyed and now nobody can get to it

great job

>"Far off the shadows of Sauron hung; but torn by some gust of wind out of the world, or else moved by some great disquiet within, the mantling clouds swirled, and for a moment drew aside; and then he saw, rising black, blacker and darker than the vast shades amid which it stood, the cruel pinnacles and iron crown of the topmost tower of Barad-dûr. One moment only it stared out, but as from some great window immeasurably high there stabbed northward a flame of red, the flicker of a piercing Eye; and then the shadows were furled again and the terrible vision was removed. The Eye was not turned to them: it was gazing north to where the Captains of the West stood at bay, and thither all its malice was now bent, as the Power moved to strike its deadly blow; but Frodo at that dreadful glimpse fell as one stricken mortally"

Because he has the advantage of time. If you just take the movies into account, he would've crushed the defences of Middle Earth, then sent his minions with the task of finding the ring. Nobody would've been able to oppose him.
If you take books into account, only parts of Middle Earth really followed Eru. Sauron and Morgoth were still worshiped in the rest of the world. Again the same scenario would play out. Sauron would crush all defences and simply seek the ring unopposed. The only hope they'd have is if Ulmo kept washing the ring around on them while they sought it.

Palantir mofo

What do the Orcs eat? Mordor has no arable land and any large game could not sustain an army that large

Legolas was a Mary Sue

They mingled with the Southrons, Men of Harad, and the Easterlings not to mention the centuries of interaction between their cultures and all others in one way or another. They obviously adopted customs and cultural aspects that best suit them, if they didn't already have some to begin with.

>3001 Third Age
>Doesn't use the ring of power
Were you bullied in school, retarded or perhaps both?

>I-It corrupts you!
Yes, and? Was life a competition about who stays pure the longest?

>Y-You get addicted to it!
No you don't, expect if you are underage and incapable of using in moderation.

>I-Its dangerous!!!
Who forced you to wear it in public you fucking peat-gavel?

they played games of soggy biscuit

kek

Why didn't the dwarves just encase the ring in mithril? No one would be able to wear it, it'd belong to no one, corrupt no one.

Plain and simply?
Shit writing
Tolkien had okay worldbuilding though

And ruin good mithril ore? Get fucked.

as long as the ring existed, sauron's life force existed, the drive for his army existed, and everyone was fucked

Please name 5 better writers of fantasy.

...

What would Sam have done fin Golum didn't bite Frodos finger?
Was he willing to kill him?

Jk rowling

i don't know

You got me there. They're both living in a fantasy world and their work reflects it.

Okay, but then it could be carried without risk to be "accidentally" worn. Frodo wouldn't be able to put it on in mt Doom even if he still was somehow corrupted by it.

You can't tell me the answer. But you can make one up!

The utter state of Sup Forums...
Philip Pullman

>writes a series about cooking, recipes and heraldry joined together by boring D-rate porno fantasy
>is a raging libtard cocksucker who backed the Sad puppies fiasco
>good writer of fantasy

>Philip Pullman
I said better not equal.

>fantasy
That's your problem
It's bottom of the barrel genre, overdone to exhaustion
Not Even Tlkien work is original, it's an orgy of fairy tales and other myths

It corrupts you, ning-nong. It would still have enough to desire itself to exert dominance over the others. It's always only a matter of time until it wins.

Maybe in time people will recognize His Dark Materials for the genius it is.

>Not Even Tlkien work is original, it's an orgy of fairy tales and other myths
True but it's his style, prose and the way he weaves the trope into reality which help elevate him above so many others of the genre. While not everyone is great, some writers are just simply more talented or less talented then others. Alot of the greats took inspiration from someone, even if that someone was a mook of a writer with no skill.

>fantasy writer
>not libtard

Had this on my too-read list for ages. Worth bumping to the top of the list this weekend?

There are stages of being a libtard, and if you think that the next Game of Thrones book won't be chock full of 'Druuuumptfshm' then you weren't paying attention to Martin.

Yes, its a great trilogy, I find the final book the best, but its solid throughout. I'd say it goes more into science fiction/speculative fiction than outright fantasty, but its great world building.

>next Game of Thrones book
not going to happen as long as series going on.

Great will give it a go. You're a good user with taste.

>its another cunt can't separate his politics from his entertainment

Honestly, why even come to this board if you're just gonna be this way?

this, I thought the same thing when I read the books.

I have read the GoT and if you think that Martin won't fuck it up to the seven Hells after the 2016 elections, then you are clinically insane.
Why do you think the release got postponed again.

Easy

Jim butcher, robert jordan, stephen king, terry pratchett, ra salvatore.

Just in case anyone falls for this weak bait, I'd like to remind everyone that Rowling is actually responsible for the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Because hes a a lazy fuck and/or HBO wants to finish the show first. You're kidding yourself. Take off the tinfoil hat.

The original was was only good in terms of the great fanfiction stories written in that world by compentent authors.

"Then", said Glorfindel, "let us cast it into the deeps, and so make the lies of Saruman come true. For it is clear now that even at the Council his feet were already on a crooked path. He knew that the Ring was not lost for ever, but wished us to think so; for he began to lust for it for himself. Yet oft in lies truth is hidden: in the Sea it would be safe."

"Not safe for ever, " said Gandalf. "There are many things in the deep waters; and seas and lands may change. And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or for a few lives of Men, or for a passing age of the world. We should seek a final end of this menace, even if we do not hope to make one."

"And that we shall not find on the roads to the Sea," said Galdor. "If the return to Iarwain be thought too dangerous, then flight to the Sea is now fraught with gravest peril. My heart tells me that Sauron will expect us to take the western way, when he learns what has befallen. He soon will. The Nine have been unhorsed indeed but that is but a respite, ere they find new steeds and swifter. Only the waning might of Gondor stands now between him and a march in power along the coasts into the North; and if he comes, assailing the White Towers and the Havens, hereafter the Elves may have no escape from the lengthening shadows of Middle-earth"

Tolkein was an atheist kike.

The ring had potential to corrupt his mates and turn them against Frodo.

Why dident elrond kill isildur when he had the chance