Motherfucker, imagine the balls on this kid. You're not going to notice his balls, because he has a long neck, hence the clever moniker, but Longneck must have titan balls. Longneck's balls must be the kind of balls that cause the keys in your pocket to jostle ever so slightly when he walks past. Their incredible mass is such a force to be reckoned with that, like a small moon or burgeoning black hole, they actually have an effect on less massive items in their vicinity. I say this only because what kind of fucking sociopathic beast, devoid of all self-awareness, would dare claim to be an X-Man, a goddamn superhero in a universe where aliens and beings older than time who are capable of ripping whole worlds in half, sometimes with their bare hands, when his power is having a long neck?
What the fuck does the word "power" even mean when your power is having a long neck? You know what my power is? I ate a cheese sandwich earlier. My cat has a power, too: She's not in Denver. You can't just have a verb in a sentence near some kind of a noun and say that's a power. Has long neck? Has long neck? Jesus Christ, big shooter, you don't have a power, you have a problem sitting in compact cars.
Motherfucker, imagine the balls on this kid. You're not going to notice his balls, because he has a long neck...
Other urls found in this thread:
cracked.com
twitter.com
copy that
Bump, because the world needs to see this
>My cat has a power, too: She's not in Denver.
Jesus fuck, laughed harder than i should have
I don't really understand how he became an X-Man at all.
I guess minor mutations technically make you eligible.
Bump for how magnificent of a bastard you are.
But he's not like got a cool special forces skillset does he?
>welcome to gamestop!
At least he'll always be able to see over a crowd.
...
Oh hey, I just read that article on Cracked too, OP!
>he'll never be allowed to play with Three Horn
He wasn't an X-Man, he was just a dude at the school for mutants?
Not everyone that goes to the school is a member of their racial Kill-Teams.
>you have a problem sitting in compact cars
DAMN IT I PEED MYSELF
underrated posts
We'll good for him if I had to fight the human Giraffe I think I'd know where to strike first
Woah, cracked still exist?
>My cat has a power, too: She's not in Denver
And now I want a Not-in-Denver cat movie
>It turns out his mutation isn't just that he has a long neck, but that his neck is elongated to make room for the mutant Africanized killer bee hive tucked in behind his larynx.