>movie trailer
>WHAT IF CTHULU WASN'T JUST A STORY
>ear shattering fart noise
>full frontal shot of Cthulu rising from the sea with water streaming off of its body
>black screen
>coming 2018
>movie
>opening shot is Cthulu rising out of the water
>movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes of Cthulu destroying a city
>ending is Cthulu standing over the leveled city roaring at the sky
>Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Cthulhu is lame as fuck, just some big fish monster that lives underwater.
OH MAN LIKE WHAT IF THERE WAS A MONSTER UNDERWATER JUST ASLEEP AND IF IT WAKES UP IT KILLS EVERYONE
Reminder that there'll be a Lovecraft cinematic universe as soon as the capeshit well runs dry
will nigger-man make an appearance?
>>movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes of Cthulu destroying a city
>>ending is Cthulu standing over the leveled city roaring at the sky
why tho.
that's boring. you could just replace cthulhu with ANY OTHER MONSTER and nothing would be different.
>Niggerman: A Cthulhu Mythos Story
fund it
As long as my wife Shub is animated I will tolerate the Lovecraft cinematic universe
The story would be better if the world was going insane and there was secret societies of elder god worshippers.
>rainier wolfcastle standing on stage in the spotlight with a microphone.jpeg
>slow panning shot of a black lake
>a dark brooding voice is heard
>"When, long ago, the gods created Earth
In Jove's fair image Man was shaped at birth."
>a shot of an old dirty wharf
>"The beasts for lesser parts were next designed; Yet were they too remote from humankind."
>quick cuts of a character in a fedora and tweed suit running across cobblestone streets
>"To fill the gap, and join the rest to Man,
Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan."
>cuts of dark figures standing and watching eerily
>"A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure,"
>shot of black lake again, waves begin to stir
>"Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger."
>cut to black
>*BEOOOOWW*
>more action cuts
>"The Shadow over Innsmouth"
>"rated PG-13"
how do you even pronounce that name and also the protagonist is that lone pinguine from that herzog document
El Goblino...
I have a better idea.
What?
woah very lovecraftian kaiju monsteresque cosmic horrorian
Well, that's bookmarked.
>not posting the best page
>i meg comic horrer mobie wif Kafulu base of HP Minecraft
so... shape of water, but with more sex?
As the guy who created this, thank you for honoring and continuing my legacy.
>movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes of globetrotting 1920s detective story trying to unravel the mystery of the dreams turning everyone crazy, the savage tribes worshipping ancient stone idols, and the worldwide conspiracy of cultists trying to bring forth the sleeping one
>movie ends without you finding out if they managed to fully stop the ritual or not
my pleasure, big guy
Hollywood would never do something like this because it's actually good
Explained to me how that thing would last more than 5 seconds against a modern aircraft carrier strike group.
it's funny because in the book Cthulhu actually gets btfo'd by a little tugboat
>movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes of interlinked stories from various 1920s characters, private eyes, jazz musicians, femme tales and all other sorts all around the world, working separately to stop a plot by crazed cultists to open up portals to Algol The Daemon Star, and occasionally teaming up to take on whatever comes crawling out through the portals
>movie slowly trickles to an end with each main character dying horrifically, until the final man makes it to the Rue d'Auseil, climbs the six floors of the apartment building, and finds an old man's corpse on a chair by a window, the lifeless limbs still playing a Viol in horrendous tunes.
>the final cut is the window blowing open and a close-up of his eyes widening with terror as something moves in its reflection
my life is now of a significantly lower quality because I know this will never exist
thanks user
no but this might
>IN A WORLD
>Welcome to the jungle starts playing
>WHERE THE MIGHTY CTHULU HAS AT LAST AWAKENED
>*ear shattering fart noise*
>Tom Cruise looks out the window and sees cthulu lumbering across the city
>He has a flashback to Russell Crowe saying (this was 15 minutes earlier in the movie), "If you gaze upon the cthulu you will be stricken instantly by complete insanity!"
>AHHHHH! I AM GOING INSANE!
>Cruise runs out into the city naked, screaming, his descent into the depths of insanity just beginning
>2 hours and 45 minutes of cthulu destroying a city with brief checkups on the status of Tom's character until madness utterly consumes him
>Tom Cruise sacrifices himself to Cthulu but fights his influence and absorbs his power
>Tom Cruise becomes the new Cthulu
>We May have to call upon him for new adventures
I love that photo. One submerged nuke under there could solve a lot of our outdated equipment issues at once.
> tfw Mountains of kino never ever
>Movie ends with a close-up shot of an eye opening under water
K I N O
>shot of Tom Cruise looking up at Cthulu from the street
>puts his hands to his head
I'M GOING INSANE!!! I'M GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Ok, source for that? Does it lead to anything more?
Alan Moore, Neonomicon. classic Lovecraftian comickino. yes there's more fish rape.
thanks
Pretty sure that's rape, user.
Just one steamboat is enough for him. Let him sleep again.