As my old dad used to say, you wring out the tea towel, I'll take care of the fish

>As my old dad used to say, you wring out the tea towel, I'll take care of the fish

What did your old dad used to say?

"you will do a lot more stupid shit as you get older"

When my mom would bend over he'd go BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

"who are you?"

Based.

"you tell anyone about this and i will kill your mom"

my dad was a piece of shit though

"i don't know" is not an acceptable answer
"i don't know" is not a fucking answer, i just fucking told you this

>watch movie
>character is racist and calls black person a nigger
>dad laughs

Rad dad

ugh

>tfw new takeshis castle is garbage

What were they thinking with wossy?

"Work makes for a shitty job"

"im tired of your older brother. Your ass belongs to daddy tonight"

think about numbers in their relationship to 10

> "I've never hit your mother, but she knows i will if i have to."

Asked her after he died and apparently he never did. Based.

Right you are Ken

Who the fuck knows, It's like i can see the script

Ghosts are the demonic spirts that imitate the people they follow until they die.

This.

From the thumbnail I thought that was a BCC (big clay cock) with blue clay jizz oozing out of it.

>my old dad used to say, a toaster doesn't have two slots my accident

>in the cinema
>shout nigger
>look at the dad in the back

Like father like faggot.

>climbing a mountain in the appalachians
“If you can up the mountain sober, you can get down the mountain wasted.”

My dad would say ‘don’t ever mouth off because there’s always someone bigger than you!’ After he unprovoked smacked me around. All that did is make me spit on and assault anyone smaller than me who ran their mouth.

my old dad used to say, why would you shoot a man before you threw him out of a plane?

but he also would only buy day old bread and dented cans of SPAM

i am gay now, whether being raped as a kid has anything to do with it i wont ever know.

>dad tells me to never get old
>plan on killing myself before I'm 25

youre a good kid, listening to your ol 'pa like that

>if it's cute, fuck it
thanks dad

my old dad used to say hard work it's said never killed anyone but I'm not ready to take that chance

>Wherever you go, there you are

What did my old man mean by this?

>lifes a garden, you gotta dig it

explain

then why do many of the most difficult physically demanding jobs also have the highest rates of death

"life's not fair"

as my old dad used to say, why the fuck you asking me, Einstein?

My dad would always tell me when I was a kid that I don’t get to bring friends and if I ever disobeyed him he reminded me that he was in charge here

heh heh

"JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE SUCH A RETARD ME AND YOUR MOTHER JUST WANT YOU GONE"

good times

I need this crap as a dick needs suspenders

based dad

Big woss is a huge weeb, done some cbbc shows where he safely mocks Jap culture.
I can't remember if it was made for British or Jap tv but he also did a show where he was going about with some young Japanese girls getting shown around weird places. Went to one of those horror houses that was meant to be an abandoned hospital, when a zombie guy half hanging out of a body bag ran at them he threw one of the girls at him and ran away, the madman.

>There's nobody that isn't a 40 pinter

Basically saying there isn't a woman you wouldn't fuck after 40 beers. Pretty based but sounds better in local dialect.

"It's just money, you can always make more."

"Waiting on food just makes it taste better."

"Those fucking niggers are never satisfied."

"if you never try, you can never fail."

It does.

If you go out there is some chance something will happen; if you don't you can be certain nothing will happen.

A laugh in grave, a spoon in the cream

that you're a failure and no change of location or profession will change that

My ol' dad used to say
>Don't work hard, work smart.

>my old dad used to say, when it comes to women, turn them upside down and all the blood rushes to their head

>You will never again run home and watch takeshi's castle and ninja warrior while eating dinner every evening
I want to go back

'I love food, it's the only thing I eat'

>I can't make love to your mother any more
Get's divorced, marries woman 20 years younger than him, about my age. Tells me about his sex life with new wife.
>She sucks ALL the cum. EVERY LAST DROP, dude.