What would the internet of 2017 have turned Dexter Douglas into?

What would the internet of 2017 have turned Dexter Douglas into?

Into a neet loser aka user.

a massive tumblr faggot

An hero.

A furry pedophile scat fetishist

The same, but a villain and not a hero.

a vastly more powerful, impossibly more intelligent Freakzoid but also even MORE insane.

this is 90s internet compared to 2017 internet

its like comparing babby's first encyclopedia book to the entirety of wikipedia.

Seconded.

Freakazoid but even more chaotic and random

He'd pretty much have magic powers added to all of that now.

Chaos Magic

so Xavier Renegade Angel?

The Joker, at his most poorly written.

...

a purple haired trans pseudo pan furry two spirit pedo sexual

I agree. The internet today is vastly more expansive and powerful but also more chaotic. If Freakazoid's powers are reflective of the internet he'd be a demigod... but would still prefer to go see a bear ride motorcycle with Cosgrove.

>also more chaotic.
Not really. Today's Internet has more weird, but the percentage of weird is much lower. Weirdness per post peaked somewhere in the 90s when the Internet wasn't a purely academic playground anymore, but wasn't full of normalfags, either.

the ultimate SJW

Freakazoid about to use his Chaos Magic to alter time and space. But Cosgrove has tickets to the Gilda Radner Experience and The Bear Unicycle Rally.

>What would the internet of 2017 have turned Dexter Douglas into?
A middle aged unhappily married man trying to convince his high school friends his life is fun and exciting.

2017 Freakazoid drives the villains crazy by debating politics with himself for hours on end

nah, today he would turn into a transexual

I would add shape-shifting to his power set.

Freakatrap

I'll always miss what the Internet was before it became a part of everyday life for everyone. The comparison of bringing railroads to the Wild West is hokey, but accurate. Our frontier was something special. Things were hard, things were backwards, but things were special. I don't disagree that changing things was overall better for everyone, but I always feel a lack of the life you used to be able to lead out here.

Anonymity is very important to me, and I don't just mean the Sup Forums kind. Everyone used nicknames, there was no "social media," there was a clear divide between who you were online and who you were offline--and which "you" is the real you depended on the person in question. We lost a lot of freedom when real names replaced online handles. At least we still have this place, as badly as it's declined since about 2013.

I definitely think a modern Freakazoid would be a vastly more intelligent being, but a lot calmer, almost zen, but completely incapable of focusing on one thing for more than a few seconds. Incoherent rambling, indecision, constantly shifting moods. I feel like he'd evoke Robin Williams characters, like Genie, who is already pretty close to classic Freakazoid.

louder, angrier, and with more attitude

Doesn't help the internet is turning into a big brother state with google, youtube and varoius other companies advocating censorship.

I miss the times your greatest worry was seeing your favorite webcomic stops updating or the anime site you were watching goes down.

As for Freakazoid, he'd be more sadistic than happy.

He'd be Meme-Man, the hero of Reddit and would save the minorities from the oppression of the white male with his super meymey powers such as dat boi, woah, trollface, pepe or lenny face.

>as badly as it's declined since about 2013.
Try 2008.

This. Anyone who thinks today's internet is weirder than the early internet wasn't there to see it. Today most of the traffic is normalfags posting selfies with their fucking food or whatever. And all the illegal stuff is gone.

Not even that. Most traffic today is Netlix, YouTube, PornHub, etc., i.e., glorified cable.

Hmm. I don't even like to think about it. People will
>sekrit club
about Sup Forums but I remember when the whole internet really was a sekrit club of nerds and weirdos. And it was considerably fucking better without all the normalfags.

>I don't disagree that changing things was overall better for everyone
I do.

Movie Bob

>transexual

*transsexual

Us

God, I still remember the original Sup Forums memes.

These days even the stupidest meme has some kind of context. There was literally no point to half that shit. What the fuck was dsfarg about?

>The greatest irony is that without all the normalfags, the internet was actually a lot tamer

>Anonymity is very important to me, and I don't just mean the Sup Forums kind. Everyone used nicknames, there was no "social media," there was a clear divide between who you were online and who you were offline--and which "you" is the real you depended on the person in question. We lost a lot of freedom when real names replaced online handles. At least we still have this place, as badly as it's declined since about 2013.
I grew up being told to never touch a computer screen. Now you can't use half the shit out there without putting your gross fingers on it.

I grew up being told never to put your personal information out on the internet. Now I'm weird because I don't want to.

>Doesn't help the internet is turning into a big brother state with google, youtube and varoius other companies advocating censorship.
They should. Fuck it. That shit needs to stop showing up literally everywhere. All that racist bombastic bullshit was only ever funny on Sup Forums. The moment it started infecting the rest of the internet was when it became unbearable. It's like seeing your high school science project potato battery becoming sentient and going out to stand on the street corner and rant about how much it knows the truth about the world in the most insipid and pedantic way and it keeps dropping your name and you just want the fucking thing to shut up but it's achieved asexual reproduction and you'll never stop it now.

I don't know where that metaphor went but fuck it. I don't care anymore.

>All that racist bombastic bullshit was only ever funny on Sup Forums. The moment it started infecting the rest of the internet was when it became unbearable. It's like seeing your high school science project potato battery becoming sentient and going out to stand on the street corner and rant about how much it knows the truth about the world in the most insipid and pedantic way and it keeps dropping your name and you just want the fucking thing to shut up but it's achieved asexual reproduction and you'll never stop it now.
I think you're giving Sup Forums far too much credit for things normalfags were doing over tabloid newspapers in bars long before they ever heard of the internet. People were already frustrated ignorant bigots before the internet allowed them to share that with a wider audience than their drinking buddies.

This is why I don't think Sup Forums has really influenced the wider net, we've just become more normal. Who here even gave a shit about politics back in the early days? Hell, who even cared about the real world? I came here because the real world pissed me off and I wanted to forget about it (fat chance of that now) and laugh about stupid shit and talk about anime.

>dsfarg
fgsfds

>I grew up being told never to put your personal information out on the internet.
You're young.
>All that racist bombastic bullshit was only ever funny on Sup Forums. Blah blah blah.
Let's face it, you're saying this because you are a moralfag. Racist bombastic bullshit has been funny since the Internet heard of pic related.

>This is why I don't think Sup Forums has really influenced the wider net
A lot of the things I see on the mainstream Internet now were things I saw on Sup Forums years ago. Either those things are born here or we're some of the first to adopt them.

Sup Forums has become a lot more normal though, I'll give you that.

>People were already frustrated ignorant bigots

Look in the mirror and you will see
Dexter Douglas has turned into ye

Oh yes, silly me, I forgot. This is 2017 Sup Forums where politics and the real world infect everything and every board, and to be anything other than a social conservative is to be TUMBLR, the worst pariah status imaginable. Now everyone thinks I'm a beardy glasses wearing numale, how will I ever live down the shame?

Oh wait, I'm anonymous.

...

No, the other one, with the red mascot on the motorbike.

To be fair, you probably are a numale. You write indignantly like a woman.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

This thread is making me miss when everything wasn't so political and people didn't take the internet seriously.

This will always be funny, it's legendary

Ugh, you're a goon, aren't you.

Your buzzword meme sure show him

>he isn't a goon
lmao

Well he was learning telekinesis so his show wouldn't get canceled...

>he wasn't a goon
is respectable;
>he isn't a goon
is ridiculous in the current year.

A racist transexual that jacks off to anime girls

>SomethingAwful still exists
>So does YTMND
Jesus christ, why though?

A little girl.

Mark Zuckerburg

What a horrifying image.

Better question: What would it have turned Gutierrez into?

Reddit

Less shit and lots of morons on Social Media. Shocker

...

What fucking Microsoft websites are people visiting more than Facebook? Or is that traffic just people downloading the constant stream of Windows updates?

>Less shit
You mean MORE shit, surely?

I know. Who the fuck still uses Yahoo?

Its likely traffic analysis so yea its a bullshit graph.

Well less poorly made shit and just concentrated well made shit.

No they mean Microsoft.com
It gets a shitload of traffic but it's for things like computer support questions (How do I X on Windows /7/8/10 etc) or downloading updates and software. People don't browse it like social media.

Japan.

>going to Microsoft for Windows support
Normalfags really are thick aren't they?

Freakazoid 2K17 would have extreme Disassociative Identity Disorder instead of normal cartoon insanity. One second he'd be cursing Cosgrove's name and the next he'd be brutalizing anyone who even looked at Cosgrove funny.

Imagine trying to get Mac support. Literally everything you'll find is a paid shill talking about how there couldn't be a problem because the program is perfect, or offering to sell you a way to fix it.

>racist transexual
Literally perfect.

...

I remember simply trying to find out if you could still get the full leather cases for iPads (my dad liked his old one and couldn't find another) and Christ, Apple fanboys must be some of the most obnoxious people in existence. Someone had already asked the question on an Apple forum and most of the replies were along the lines of
>No, you can't, but why would you want one?
>Apple were right to discontinue those cases, I much prefer paying almost twice as much for separate silicone back and front covers
The poor guy who asked the question was just trying to explain he liked the leather cases and thought it was a shame he couldn't get them any more, but clearly any slight against Apple's good name was too much for these people.

Wasn't he already that?

He was involved in education.

YTMND really is impossible to explain to people who grew up with Youtube

And a real human bean

Pepe

It was basically /webm/.

>yahoo

heh.

God Forbid

Back then you could legally get cheese pizza mailed to you, the internet was an afterthought