Modern Britain

>Modern Britain

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-37785628

Maybe there are snakes?

...

Is grass codeword for niggers

cute!!

...

peekaboo

Cute!

>millions of blades aren't a danger

Stay safe m8. I hope your MPs start a registration and confiscation drive before things get out of control.

DON'T BE BRASH, CUT THAT GRASS!

this

>be Pontypool mailman
>transferred from Upton Snodsbury last week
>go on first delivery run
>find dangerous grass and report it to police
>police immediately ban patrols near said grass in case their transgender butterknife inspector slips and hurts *herself
>power and water companies won't go near dangerous grass
>Mohammed moves in
>buys lawnmower
>builds mosque
>Mudslimes use Pontypool to alahu ackbar neighbouring North Piddle
>government equality commission investigates and issues diversity medals to posties and police

Get fucked britbongs

>unironically owning a snake that could bite a finger off
Fuck no senpai

>Government services

Holy shit, is that text from a real article?

>read the whole thing in his voice

Did they take away your lawnmowers as well as your cutlery bongs?

Yes

tfw you'll see "bin that grass" campaigns in Britain before the decade is out

Honestly not that bad.. Lots of hidden shit can hide under grass (rocks, snakes/bugs,holes, nails, ect)

a grass hill in a rainstorm can be slippery as shit.
sorta has a point/10

you're losing your touch, Australia

B-b-but I'm terrified of snaeks, what is this feeling?!

>Bite a finger off
>An animal that cant chew it's own food and must swallow it whole

Your natural New Zealandese cowardice has bubbled to the surface

Its only logical to fear sneaks tho

Nah as long as you don't bother them you'll have no hassles.

Haha i like these sneks

t. snake

That's fine but, if I see a snake in my house, I can't exactly just go about my day shitposting without bothering it

Pontypool is Wales. We don't have towns that sound like "Upton Snodsbury" or fucking "North Piddle".

I almost feel you're an americunt hiding behind a proxy, or some chink cunt. Most Australians have Welsh ancestors, they would know better.

Pontypool is in Wales and is unironically one of the whitest towns in the UK

Just leave the door open cunt and he'll wander out

fukka u

Imagine when it's raining/been raining how slippy that'd be tho. Understandable. Also why on earth haven't they got a path outside their houses the plebs.

What if its poisons, and bites a baby

...

Seems quite steep and wet grass is very slippery

Snakes can't bite anything off. They only have the two fangs, no teeth and not a lot of bite force. They swallow food whole, they'd have to take your whole arm and manage to not die.

If I was a postman and there is a hazard like that I wouldn't fancy delivering letters.

Maybe the locals can put a pathway to protect people from slipping?

If you're baby isn't a soft cunt he'll be fine.

(its venom not poison)

>In a country where it rains every other day
>Must walk on wet grass up-hill every fucking day
>Royal-Mail uniform doesn't allow for proper walking boots and trousers
>Every cucking day you slip and get covered in fucking mud some some shite can get his ebay deliveries

It's not the royal mail's fault here, that council needs to install a pavement, how the residents haven't been suing their asses off for injuries I don't know.

Grass is no joke, someone post the vid of French special forces being wrecked by a small grassy hill.

>Royal-Mail uniform doesn't allow for proper walking boots and trousers
>It's not the royal mail's fault here

I read the whole thing in his voice.

Death to sneks

>two fangs, no teeth

no u

>what is this feeling?!
The feeling of your trouser snake rising.

They shouldn't need hiking gear in a fucking town.

There's no reasonable excuse for that street not being paved, I mean shit they're parking their cars on the grass. That's nonsense.

Is this how the epidemic starts? BRB tuning in.

>trouser snake rising

Kojima's making a new game?

How about we give them one of those poles like what people hiking through the snow use?

Or would that be classified a dangerous weapon?

SHITTY WEATHER + KEKS

DO NOT MIX

Show your class, bin that grass!

>Modern Britain
Indeed.

Fuck you aussie. I've seen the true face of terror

God I want a subscription to Sunday Sport so badly. But I want physical copies not that digital garbage.

We keep them as pets

Breaks my heart. This is what the royal mail has been reduced to, from

IN the name of the Empress, make way,
O Lords of the Jungle, wherever you roam,
The woods are astir at the close of the day—
We exiles are waiting for letters from Home.
Let the robber retreat—let the tiger turn tail—
In the Name of the Empress, the Overland Mail!

With a jingle of bells as the dusk gathers in,
He turns to the footpath that heads up the hill—
The bags on his back and a cloth round his chin,
And, tucked in his waistbelt, the Post Office bill;—
“Despatched on this date, as received by the rail,
“Per runner, two bags of the Overland Mail.”

Is the torrent in spate? He must ford it or swim.
Has the rain wrecked the road? He must climb by the cliff.
Does the tempest cry halt? What are tempests to him?
The service admits not a “but” or an “if.”
While the breath’s in his mouth, he must bear without fail,
In the Name of the Empress, the Overland Mail.

From aloe to rose-oak, from rose-oak to fir,
From level to upland, from upland to crest,
From rice-field to rock-ridge, from rock-ridge to spur,
Fly the soft-sandalled feet, strains the brawny, brown chest.
From rail to ravine—to the peak from the vale—
Up, up through the night goes the Overland Mail.

There’s a speck on the hillside, a dot on the road—
A jingle of bells on the footpath below—
There’s a scuffle above in the monkey’s abode—
The world is awake and the clouds are aglow.
For the great Sun himself must attend to the hail:—
“In the Name of the Empress, the Overland Mail!”

what a faggot.