I've gotta fake being a Hillary supporter for my university's newspaper tomorrow...

I've gotta fake being a Hillary supporter for my university's newspaper tomorrow. What should my statement be as to why I support Hillary.

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because you're not a virgin and you have no mental illnesses

Dont be a fag, support Trump loud and proud

"Because I am afraid of retribution from the University and my peers if I don't."

Who says you have to do that?

Because she is the one that is most ill and would get to use Obamacare, leading to a Kaine Presidency.

She'll put a stop to super predators and finally conquer those racist Christian Russians!

This shit

RIGHT HERE

"Because I support war with Russia"

Here's a few things...

"Because I believe Hillary should be able to get away with crimes that regular citizens would be sent to jail for. I support corruption and selling political access for money. I don't mind rapists and think she is a strong woman for defending one".

...

Take your F grade like a real man....

Applaud how she colludes with the media to avoid scrutiny and how she avoided prosecution by bribing Comey.

This!!

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"It's 2016"

Shewill will pay for college for my wife's son Da'squidtavious

...

Make it about defending the free moderate rebels in Syria

Integrity is overrated these days...

Because she believes in drafting women as frontline soldiers. Men have always been the primary casualties of war.

You hate Russia and approve of Hillarys #NoFlyZone

DO IT

My wife's son turned me onto Hillary. I was considering supporting Johnson, but when Demarcus showed me some Hillary speeches, I realized I was truly with her. We are even doing a donation drive at my local synagogue.

(Not for ants)

...

"I support the fact she wants equality, it will be nice to have more female troops when they're drafted to fight with her!"

Say that you support her war plans against Russia.

It's about time the USA had an openly gay President.

hate to admit it, but fpbp

Talk about how we need a woman President so we can take down the white male system like the Constitution and national borders.

Something about the No fly zone in Syria and going to war with Russia

"I want to go to war with Russia"

Or this

Point out that her presidency will be the subject of more porn spoofs then any other subject in the known history of human language, that it might even count as it's own genre because there will be so much content.

Do not fake. Revolt. Your Grand Leader has risked his fame, his fortune, his business and reputation to take a stand for you. You will not deny him again brother. Go! Spread the his word, your brothers are there in the shadows waiting for your call.

Of course you're a leaf

"Because hill dog will bring super-predators to heel and push back against Russian aggression with military force"

remind millennials that hillary is an actual racist and wants war

Because you are a white nationalist and by raising the minimum wage tons of low paying jobs would get automated freezing blacks and Mexicans out of the job market causing millions of illegals to go back and further assuring the destruction and dependence of the black community.

Not to mention her abortion policies that would result in another guaranteed generation of dead nigger babies.

And the importation of millions of middle easterners who would throw gays and grannies off rooftops and finally end faggotry and feminism in the west.

Honestly idk why Sup Forums doesn't support her.

>your's
all hail the alt-right

...

say you support her because:

she's a racial realist (cite when she said blacks are super predators)
she's traditional (cite when she said marriage is between a man and a woman)
she's a fellow satan worshipper (cite her thesis in praise of saul alinsky)
she has the same disease as your grandmother

etc

This. Also add in "It will end years of gender inequality when female soldiers are fighting and dying on the front lines"

>What should my statement be as to why I support Hillary.

say you like her hair and her dress sense

for you it's proof she will run a tidy presidency

>doesn't grasp blatant satire
C'mon buddy lighten up, he's just havin' a laugh and memeing a bit

Pretty good right here OP

Newspaper telling someone they HAVE to say good things about Hillary is the summation of our media problem.

How you've always wanted to be in a war and hope the draft is reinstated.

Women Are better machinists and mechanics anyways.

Laud her push for equality and work the female draft angle. Should rustle some jimmies but be unapproachable because MUH EQUALITY.

>fake news from a uni paper

ur joking right?
if not, what uni?

9 words.
I'm not racist.
Trump is racist.
Can't support him.

You're now the ultimate shill.

the war mongering and ending the white race

THIS ONE OP
>THIS ONE
THIS ONE OP
>THIS ONE

See there are tons of great reasons to support Hillary

blog.dilbert.com/post/152293480726/the-bully-party

#hillbullies

>Hey look this guy has a beard!
>That means he's masculine!
>A MAN who is MASCULINE is voting for Hillary!
> I guess I better do that to so I can be Le MAN

Yes men look like men, but not all men are alphas or leaders. Being a "Man" comes with character, otherwise you're just some sissy faggot who decides not to shave, drinks his starbucks, and sells his image of "masculinity" to political campaigns to enthrall easily persuaded beta cucks. Also this guy is DYEL

>Pro-war

i want to see huma in 3some wth bill &hill

She'll bring those super predators to heel.

>47 chromosomes by this ID

Guarantee it's already in the works.

Also there's probably a Donald Melania movie in the works

this is pure fucking gold.

>MY SIDES

Talk about being pro draft and pro war with russia. Talk about how women are going to get a chance to be on the front lines.

t. nerd virgin

yes all of this would happen, which does sound nice, but it also would come with the end of America as we know it.

You're blowing my mind right now.

...

this this this, numbers confirm this.

Same answer as 99% of hillary supporters "we needs our first woman president in da whitehouse."

...

Pro war with Russia

Ok, I laughed out loud for the first time in years and now I'm worried I might start enjoying life

...

This just makes me wanna say "America! Fuck Yeah!"

LOL, assuming you're not trolling (which you are), just fucking write an anti-Hillary statement. There are no negative consequences that would result which would be so bad that they would neutralize the glory of fucking with the university orthodoxy.

do this one OP

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Personal merit and accomplisiments are sexist.

Any and all of these OP.

...

Because she's is capable of getting away with anything!

"she's a fighter, she doesnt give up"

Because a war with russia is a win for democracy

>she doesn't afraid anything.

That gif is a shoop, right?

Because she wants to depopulate the world

Easy, you support war with Russia, and Hillary has already threatened them for the leaks. The more nuclear the better.

Fucking this.
>"We all know that Putin is an antidemocracy tyran, the future Stalin. So we must crush him down quickly, like we did with Chile."

Trump

>all stock images
Good job goys, effective marketing campaign

say you support her solely because she's a woman and you don't care about her policies at all

"As a straight white male, I support the war machine"

Tell them you are Jewish and Trump goes against Israel's interests. Tell them you want to send more shekels to Israel because we are the goyim's greatest ally.

, this

because he's literally hitler

Just say you want war with Russia

>your's = wrong

I approve of Hillary's no fly zone and support the war on seria and Russia that will soon follow.

grow a fucking pair and tell them you support trump

Because you're ready to go to war to stop russia and putin