ITT: make the movie worse

ITT: make the movie worse

I hope Daisy does a super slutty role in a future non star wars movie. I want her in filthy slut outfits or naked. I love London sluts.

replace all the actors with the black panther cast

Rey falls for the ugly nigger instead of Ben

Make Luke a secret child murderer who wants to kill himself and suck off a giant monster

black dude and asian girl become jedi

Make it worse not better

literally all of these would make the movie more enjoyable in some way

Kylo tells Snoke a yo mama joke and dabs while winking at the camera before cutting him in half

Oh I get it, your thread personality is "you cant make it worse because tis so bad"

Kylo Ren isn’t in it. That’s the only thing that could make it worse

Grade A+ bait

I would actually enjoy shit like this more, just because then the movie would cross the line from bad into ridiculous, and at least then I could laugh at it

Laura Dern lives and is in the sequel

BB8 is the mastermind and is actually part of a larger droid entity attempting to destroy all sides.

All black cast would be hilarious since it's roles we've already seen, Rey with Finn would already make more sense, and making Finn and Rose Jedi is slightly less idiotic than "The Jedi must end... oh nevermind, be a Jedi Rey"

Every time the characters do something willfully stupid or out of character to forward the plot or Rian T. Johnson steps own his own dick and introduces another plot hole, the entire theater fills with bees.

Cut the shot of Luke looking at the twin suns before fading away out of the movie. Instead just show that shot of him clutching his chest, then cut to Leia and she says something like "Luke's gone," and then Luke is dead as far as the movie's concerned.

only ones so far that would actually make it worse and not funnier

two kathleen kennedys

Have Han Solo make a surprise appearance at the end. Claim "he's not really dead" even though he got stabbed with a light saber and got thrown down into a fucking abyss. Claim this is because "too many people love Han solo because he's a cash grab..er I mean he's a very popular character".

>When someone asks Han how he survived, he just quotes Gandalf from the Two Towers
>Nobody asks again

Hux makes a speech about how inferior some alien species is and calls their planet a shithole.

yeah because star wars is known for having actual pits that kill people

>chewie goes to luke, luke is shocked and exclaims "ive missed you my love!"
>they embrace and passionately kiss
>luke sees rey "and youve brought our daughter back to us!"
>rey is confused and they tell her the long story about how the new republic was against their love and how they had to leave her on a desert planet so they wouldnt know they had a child together
>luke actually left because leia and ben were furious he was a species traitor, with ben joining a new master that wasnt a terrible wookie fucker, and leia creating the resistance just to try and get ben back
>rey, chewie, and luke settle down on the planet not needing to ever leave again
>ep 9 begins as both ben and leia find them and try to end their disgusting relationship

>”When I left you, I was known as Han Solo, the Force has sent me back to as Ranger.”

>When Han reappears, Boba Fett does too
>They're gay lovers now

I will try it.

Rose's revealed as a trini.
Finn disappointed (or happy) falls in love with Poe.
Holdo's alive
Rey repeats over and over again "I am perfect"
Ben attends therapy

>ep9 will be about han and fett being force sensitive hunters and win

This. That's atrocious.

Without being ridiculously over-the-top it's impossible

Make it into Star Wars: Dance Kinect

20 minute monologue about equality in the middle of the luke kylo fight

Movie ends with the wedding scene where Poe marries a couple and everyone farts

OP said worse not better

>Fett solo movie reveals that Boba is gay and wants to fuck Han

Everything in the film is optimally terrible - make it any worse and it'd give us more memes, thereby improving the film.

>But...C-Chewie... You...You can talk!
>RWHHWHHRHWT-thang youu Rey RHUHUHWWH f-for teachin me

OK. We have a winner. I would have found a way to open a vein with my drink lid if that had happened.

That would be fucking awesome.

>In IX, Chewbacca has shaven himself, and is just the dude who is in his suit, and spends most of the movie sitting cross legged in the back of the Millenium Falcon, smoking a pipe and reading a book, to show how much more cultured he has become thanks to Rey

>Rey ""accidentally"" kills Luke
>Boyega dies in the crash and chinaman survives and leads the rebels
>Kylo Ren just cries a lot

>chewbaca's kid shows up. he can speak english and has a napoleon complex

This, but show him slumped over in a humiliating pose, while ghost Yoda looks at him with a sad expression

the old republic called, it wants its plot back

might as well fucking introduce kyle and jan with desaan as they try to find the star map to the star forge as the sith return with a bigass fleet in ep9 and have the entire star forge blown up by a bunch of fucking teenagers and kyle with a single ship, call it the epic rock or someshit

This is inspired. Well done, I'm fucking pissed.

How is this worse than the actual movie? It would be hilarious since they've already shown they don't care at all about the characters

Fuck that. Ghost Yoda dry humps his leg.

Instead of being absorbed into the force, Luke is transformed into a woman, the superior gender.

>post credits
>shot of lava planet, maybe Mustafar
>offscreen voice says "I just can't believe it.. "
>camera pans to reveal Snoke's red force ghost
>"My own apprentice turned on me, after all I did for him. I just can't believe I fell for his trick-"
>"AGAIN!" cackles an off screen voice
>camera pans, it's Sheev's red force ghost
>"You always were too trusting, master. I can't believe they used to call you 'the Wise.'"
>Smoke looks down, despondent
>Sheev puts a hand on his shoulder
>"But hey, you were a good friend."
>Sheev gives a sly wink to the camera, and it shutters on his grinning face

>implying suddenly switching all the characters with new black actors in the second movie of the trilogy wouldn't be hilarious

Martin Freeman as Finn. Andy Serkis stays as Snookie

Holdo kills Poe for not accepting her orders, Rey kills snoke and all of the guards by herself, the casino scene is at least 30 minutes longer, and Luke kills himselfn

no, it has to be a completely serious moment that emphasises how Luke isn't even worthy of ascending.
He's just dead meat, and Yoda is there to rub in how badly he failed

This, desu. Instead of trying to make the movie more crazy or outrageous, aim for mediocrity.

And literally all the characters shout their lines in imitation of Samuel L. Jackson.

This would have made the movie instantly better

based sheev

Sheev would make any movie better by his mere presence.

You know for TLJ being this empowering strong movie for women and also being the "greatest star wars movie of all time ever" it sure fell off the face of the planet quick. When's the last time you heard anyone even talk about it?

Luke's final words to Rey
>The time for white men in the universe has come, its time for women and minorities to take control
>Rey, I sensed an awakening in the force, it was you, you truly are the last jedi™

You faggots say this for any movie you don't like

Ben Swolo talks to the force ghost of Anakin, but it's Hayden Christiansen. Luke and Rey talk to the force ghost of Obi-Wan but it's that scottish cocksucker

mother of god

thats because of the black panther circlejerk

This would do hell for the lore, though. You've got dark side force users wandering about who now, thanks to Yoda for showing us, can interact with the physical plane without anything to stop them. Unless they start building up to warring light versus dark ghosts.

>implying it's not already

>My son was weak, I killed younglings while they were awake
>Anyway you should find Rey and force choke her, chicks dig that shit, trust me

After Holdo dies, Padme takes over without explanation. All male actors have no more talking scenes.
Jar Jar in one of the salt speeders (again, no reason given)
Blue milk actual source of midichlorians
Universal law created to never use shields ever since they keep out immigrant dreamers who want your things
Elton John a wise powerful bartender like Woopie Goldberg in ST
Woopie Goldberg sharing diversity wisdom with him in a scene
In the end credit scene, they find Holdo floating in space and pick her up. She's fine. Everyone dyes hair.

All the actors are wh*Te

This

Deleted scene is Han with a lightsaber fighting a huge Rancor on a snowy mountain after he falls off the bridge

At the climax, Tiny Eyes Orange Lady comes in and saves Luke

rey, I am your father

I'm almost surprised they didn't do this with Snoke.

I guess you can't say they're completely retarded.

That’s pretty fucking good.

>Jar Jar in one of the salt speeders (again, no reason given)

This would be so surreal I might actually like the movie.

ITT: contrarian olympics

>After the First Order starts firing on the Resistance ships, Hux calls Holdo
>"Well congratulations, you got yourself caught, now what's the next step of your master plan
>Holdo looks up at First Order ship
>"Crashing this ship"
>Holdo activates lightspeed
>"WITH NO SURVIORS

Jar Jar would honestly improve this movie

>ep 9 is all cgi ghosts fighting one another

We said better not worse

The next one is a musical.

>Rey turns out to be Luke's daughter
>Snoke is revealed to be Darth Plagueis so that some nerds can pat themselves on the back and say "I recognize this!"
>Kylo gets a redemption arc because Rey can totally fix him.
>The casino sequence gets taken out in favour of random, indulgent fan service

>Han Solo force ghost appears and tells Rey that she's the best friend he ever had
>Rey meets Luke, Luke asks her to take a midichlorian test and reacts by saying "these midichlorians...they're off the charts...my god!"

Bonus
>Knights of Ren make an appearance and their purpose is to create new tax brackets in order to raise funding for a fourth death star

>Rey joins the dark side on purpose to destroy it from the inside.

>Phasma still survives and wants to fight with Finn again

It's now a musical. And the entire ending sequence is the cast going off on anyone who voted for Trump to stop seeing their movies.

Give me a break, its really hard to think up something worse than the actual movie.

taking the casino scene out for anything improves this movie
}REJECTED{

Vader comes back as a force ghost and makes a meme reference

>Vader and Luke end up piloting a ship
>They have to go through an asteroid belt
>Luke: That's impossible, I wouldn't dare it even with the force
>Vader: Remember, I am your father
>Luke screams Nooooooo as the ship zooms through the debris
>End credit

This is certainly going to happen.

The island with the cuck sheds is a sacred Jedi island steeped with the force, Luke communicates with pic related as they're force creatures and Luke begins the training by giving Rey their milk which is rich in Midichlorians.

>stuttering slicer takes the place of the ball droid to save the cast
>becomes a main character
>self diagnosed autism people go wild for generations

cont-

It would be a great gimmick to sell to the fans.

> Picture a Milk Carton
> Picture that Creature on the carton

MIDICHLORIAN MILK

They had 1 fewer lightsaber fights

freak

the entire movie is set on the casino planet
sheev's spirit has been entwined into a craps table
luke plays craps or blackjack or whatever against spirit sheev to decide whether kylo joins dark side
vaders spirit is stuck in a slot machine (insert some spirit battle here)
yodas spirit is stuck in a black jack table (insert some spirit battle here)
obi wans spirit is stuck in an ice bucket (insert some spirit battle here)
snoke is the casino owner and battles rey in real life using the force or some shit.
rey wakes up at the end of the movie. she is back on desert planet. it was all a dream, but she is covered with casino chips and semen. with a light saber on the ground.
DUN DUN DUN

Needs more feminism.

Only the female specimen have high levels of midichlorians, are intelligent enough to communicate and live longer.

Remove kylo and rey force bond scenes
Rey went with finn and rose (love triangle)
Holdo lives
More nigger cast
More resistance scenes