Be rich horny teenage wizard

>be rich horny teenage wizard
>doesn't use magic for masturbation purposes
>doesn't use magic to create virtual porn of people you know
>doesn't accio hermione or luna's underwear
>doesn't use steal hermione and luna's hair and make polyjuice potion and then proceed to masturbate in the mirror or fuck your best friend after drinking the potion and vice versa
>doesn't use your magic money to hire centaur hookers or something
>doesn't use the timeturner to rape someone and then go back in time like it never happened
why was harry such a faggot

he wanted Draco's wand

Harry Potter is an idealized son for childless womanchildren, who imagine a perfect offspring as their own extension which contributea to it being one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
>"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

lazy start

I'd probably just make myself invisible and jack off in the girls' showers

>faggot
Why the homophobia?

Why do these children series never pander to the adult child sensibilities of Sup Forumsedditors and tumblr bros?

Is this why /lit/ has this garbage ban on sight?

>doesn't use the timeturner to rape someone and then go back in time like it never happened

2/10 made me reply

Whoah, another dull opening, but I'm not sure what I expected from some uncreative fuck who copys and pastes the same words into each Harry Potter thread. Your retarded posts add nothing of merit. I think you think that you're genuinely a funny person, but you're not. Anyone can copy and paste words. The people giving you (You)s could do it. I could do it. Now fuck off you fucking virgin NEET and kill yourself. Please, do me a favor. End one of the dullest lives ever lived, that being yours, sitting in front of a screen all day, your only excitement and stimulation coming from a virgin Harry Potter thread that you have not yet raped.

>a-at least the Dumbldore memes were good though
>"No!"

I vaguely remember the book mentioned that some wizard's equivalents of football hooligans sexually assault people when they go to tri wizard contest

NO!

It was written by a woman, what did you expect? Logic and rationality?

he married a coalburner, so there's that.

RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>AAHHAHRRRGHGH
"DEH!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Well done.

One of the dullest segues in the history of copypastas.

That would be the 1st thing I did desu.

>doesn't use the timeturner to rape someone and then go back in time like it never happened

that's what my gf said she'd do when playing Life Is Strange which was a little troubling

reddit
based

"Deh!"

>masturbatory spell
How does it work? Is it just a vibrator or it just commands sensations?

here's a better one for you senpai

"No!"

excellent bait image

>death eaters capture the trio
>don't immediately cast the imperius curse on hermoine (and luna) for a gangbang in front of harry and ron