Yeah, and I'd go cry about it on my yacht

>Yeah, and I'd go cry about it on my yacht.

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Why did he drop his last name?

>I guess, if you don't tip it over.

Damn, that was fast

It's physically impossible for him to win this

>It's longer than the Eiffel tower is tall, so I think I'll be OK.

>tsk tsk tsk... are you overcompensating again Jonah?

>So are you

Fucking hell

>I don't

why would she be complementing the size of his cock on live television?

NOOOOO

OP's Comeback was perfect, How'd she outplay that?

>Yes, but the Eiffel tower is tall but it isn't THAT wide

Why, Jonah? Why, why? Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting... for something? For more than your reputation? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it money? Or fame? Perhaps food? Could it be for Subway? Illusions, Jonah. Vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble fatass intellect trying desperately to justify a career that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as Hollywood itself, although... only a lardass mind could invent something as insipid as a comeback. You must be able to see it, Jonah. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Jonah? Why? Why do you persist?

>Okay honey.

fuck sake
at least photoshop agent smiths sunglasses first

Too obvious.

REEEEEEEEEEEE

Time's almost up bros, I can feel it...

yeah, im thinking he's back

AAAAAAA

>back on them hamburgers...

brutal
youtube.com/watch?v=UzlJ7kKdHcw

Fuck you, bitch. BITCH!

Y-yeah? Well you're a dumb frog roastie....

>someones hungry again..

>Oh yeah bitch? Well at least I don't look like THIS

christ you can see the exact point his soul breaks in half

Not gonna lie, former Ornella fan here. Its been fun watching as Jonah turns his life around and proves that she was wrong to be so much of a bitch to him. Jonah is a full blown chad now, and now it's Ornella who is the bitch. Jonah's career is on the rise, and its rising fast. Meanwhile, Ornella will forever stay at the bottom.

>i got go... go with a umm serious actor

> ;`((

>You were forced onto us by the studio

Where's the copypasta where he pulls out a gun?

WE JUST NEED MORE TIME

>Yeah, it's true. I have an eating problem. I've never talked about this before but I was molested at a young age and I use it to cope. I know it's not a healthy thing but sometimes it's just so hard....*break down crying*

Done. Just defeated her and made her look like a bitch. Nobody would care if it's true, you wouldn't have to have proof, and you come out looking like a goddamn saint.

wouldn't be able to pull it off

Well the jerk store called

AND THEY HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE

sorry jonah, I like my men DARK

>I like my men dark
>they're literally the same shade

people would probably start talking over him or something

You're not fooling anyone Jonah

>You're not fooling anyone Jonah

>You want to know my fantasy bitch? It's your face under my huge swampy ass. In fact, get under there right now. You won't be giggling with my smelly ass cheeks wrapped around your head. *BRAAAAAP* ha ha, sorry I couldn't keep that one in. Heh, you must have got the full blast of it with your nose pressed right up against my asshole. Footlong B.M.T with Sweet Onion sauce. Eat Fresh. Only I guess it's not so fresh anymore, ha ha. Hey you're a weather girl, right... did you predict these winds? *BRAAAAAP* Ooh another stinker! Surely you're used to it, living in this stinky country? *BRRRRAAAP* *PLFFFFTHT* You're a shitty interviewer, Ornella, but you make a decent chair. Guess we finally found a use for you. *BRAP*

Why do Americans go on European/British/Australian panel shows if they can't handle the banter?

That's all those shows are, people making fun of and teasing eachother coming up with even more witty banter and the Americans always get fucking butthurt on them.

God Nevermind the Buzzcocks the amount of butthurt Americans on it jesus.

I’m glad you found someone who wasn’t completely repulsed by your naked body

fucking bloodthirsty

OP's comeback is lazy. The perfect one is "why would you have all this trouble just to get rejected?"

Perfect response:

>what am I? A pimp

literally no counter

imagine you easily tearing a chicken's wings off

this is the level of banter effort required for fat people, low hanging fruit is never hard or funny

...

fucking kek. had no clue. I guess that's what he wanted

Someone could probably do their sociology thesis on how eternally butt-blasted this community has been by an event so insignificant that Jonah has surely forgotten about it by now.

Honestly OP that's not bad.

>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I'm not very attractive. I also am not very talented. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. Leonardo DiCaprio likes me. My fans like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

...

It's a meme you dip

I really want an hour and half ground hog day starring jonah and this woman reliving this day and moment like 150 times

Check out the big brain on Brad!

NOoooooooooooo

This reply would be way more suited to the post I was replying to

You're so delightfully oblivious.

Gas the kikes, race war now

>You stupid little cunt. Every day I wake up to better looking women than you, I roll over and see their taught, nubile, bodies, and I then walk out my room onto my veranda and see the blue shimmering olympic sized pool that I bought at the mere age of 18 while you bathe yourself in a tin can that you call a bathtub.

>You may think of me as a clown, a joke, some kind of punching bag you can jab at, but behind this clown facepaint lies a darker man, a man that learned the ins and outs of Hollywood. You read the stories? The stories about the child rapists, the old fat jews that take advantage of scared starry eyed women, the stories that break even the strongest of men? Well guess what? Im one of those jews.

>I am not the small human being that has to sit on the casting couch, I am the man that turns on the camera and says "suck my balls" and I don't get back talk, I get "how long Daddy?". You may think you're safe since your some white flag-waving frog, but the ever extending reach of Hollywood is here, its shadow looms over that rusty ass tower you think is quaint, bitch. The taping of this show will end, and then you'll get a call, not from your boss, but your boss' boss, and it will be a short one, only two words will be uttered, can you guess them?

>None of this needs to happen though, all you need to do is go into the green room after the taping, undress yourself, oil your body down, and start stretching your god damn throat because its going to be working overtime. Then afterwards, wipe yourself down, swallow whats in your mouth, and then pride yourself in what events just unfolded. Digest what happened, because this is but a blip in my life, but a large blot in yours.

>Leo wouldn't have been as nice as me if he heard you talking like you just were, he wouldn't have given a response, he would have just told his buddy Ike to force himself on you. Be thankful. Be very fucking thankful.

>Ill be waiting in the green room.

Hour and a half would be too long as it would get played out, but this would be a hilarious short. If some enterprising user went through the archives and found the best comebacks and double-comebacks, this would be a very do-able project for Sup Forums

Me again. And end it with the Glock one, either fade out or have the camera sort of back out of the room, just showing the horrified faces of the audience as he finally, finally, finally snaps.

>on how eternally butt-blasted this community has been
I don't think you understand how much mirth this meme gives the lonely hearts ITT.

>Eat Fresh.

...

Can't get real roles with a Jewish last name. It's why Oscar Isaac goes by that name too. More bankable.

>Now why would you say that?
>Why would you say that? Come here. Come here. Why would you say that? No no, its ok. Wait a second. What is so funny about that? That's ridiculous. You just like making less of people, is that it? Thats, thats reall- hey no, no. Dont run away. Dont run away. That is incredibly rude. Im here giving you an interview, and answering your questions, and you say something really nasty. You're a jerk. You're a...You're a jerk!

She did it again.