Why didn't Tom Hanks character in the movie Castaway not just set the entire forest on the Island on fire as a giant...

Why didn't Tom Hanks character in the movie Castaway not just set the entire forest on the Island on fire as a giant signal to any planes or ships that fly or float by to see. Surely the entire forest on the island being on fire would set off enough smoke to get some attention right?

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>im up shit creek, what do? I know, I'll make my situation much worse

How would it have made it worse? An entire island being a blaze would certaintly draww peoples' attention, and he could just wade out in the water to staff safe from the flames.

rain

yeah and hes living in a literal hell on earth situation
fire does hurt you know

It's simple he could just go in the middle of the woods set a fire, go to the shore and wait for the entire forest to be on fire, and the wade out waist deep in the water. Water doesn't catch fire unless theres oil in it. He would be safe in the sea.

Do it during a dry spell so it spreads fast and the rain wouldn't be sufficient enough to douse it.

>setting a tropical rainforest on fire
Literally fucking how?
It's hard enough to even start a small fire and keep it going in conditions like that, lighting a whole island on fire? Never going to happen.

OP you are a comedic genius and nobody recognizes it

>I don't know what a rain forest is the post.

Not that op's idea isn't fucking retarded.

Trips confirm you're both faggots.

What I don't understand even to this day is why didn't he traverse the entire forest? For all he knew there could have been a resort hidden on the island or a rich person like richard Branson might live there.

There was an episode of the Golden Girls just like that, the girls thought they were stranded after a ship wreck but later found a resort was on the other side of the island.

That's the epitome of putting all your eggs in one basket. If it doesn't work and nobody comes, then he's screwed and has even less to live on.

He literally could have made moonshine on the island, spread it all acros the forest and light that shit on fire. Moonshine is very flamable. That ought to keep that island rain forest on fire despite the rain.

What I don't understand is why the Golden Girls didn't just ask the guy who lit the fire to rescue them?

He still has an entire ocean of fish that could sustain him

They were with three other guys who also got shipwrecked with them, they sent them out in the woods to look for water and more wood while they sat around the fire.

I live in a fucking rainforest you daft cunt.

Okay how does someone learn to make moonshine on an island if they don't know how?

Why didn't he just ride the eagles off the island?

It's like you've never actually been outside before.

Experimenting and fucking around. You'd get it eventually, everyone knows it takes fermenting, just let a bunch of cocnuts rot and ferment, and bingo moonshine.

it takes fermenting? you mean... I drink spoiled shit? I'm going to be sick...

That sounds familiar.
youtube.com/watch?v=w7NoW703iQY
except these ones don't have the excuse of being old

and how the fuck is he going to make a distillery?

this board gets dumber by the day

Best thread on Sup Forums right here folks

Probably the only thread on Sup Forums that's actually about a film

Why didn’t he just make an iron man armor with the remains of the plane and fly to civilization ?

If you really think about it being castawayed on an island would be easy as fuck

animals light fires by themselves in some places. no one would go just to see what the cause was.

You shouldn't if you do it wrong you will go blind

You can make beer but not whisky

No one's going to bother investigating fire in some uncharted island in the middle of nowhere

>will it be brute power?
>or mental strength?
>women
>mental strength

He's not making it to drink it you tard, he wants to make it to light the entire forest on fire.

>hmm this plane crashed near this island
>hmm all the crew has yet to be found
>hmm this island is randomly engulfed in flames
nah probably nothing lmao

Did you watch the movie? The plane was completely of course

Actually Dolphins are known to save humans, he probably could have lured some in with dead fish as bait and wrangled one, make a makeshift saddle and put a rope around it's kneck and steer it to civilization.

At the end they say that the island was nearby

The search area was like 500,000 KM^2 that's a big patch of ocean.

At one point, they go off in the complete wrong direction than what they're aiming for.
Then they fucking circle themselves.

They have absolutely ZERO sense of direction.

first he'd fuck one right?

If a plane crashes in the ocean, you can safely assume that everyone's dead

you mean sea turtles

but tom hanks survived???
check and mate

Back to your shithole with you

even bear knows it's bullshit at the beginning but he has to keep professional

But that's fukken stupid. even if he could ser the entire tiny island on fire there is no reason to think anyone would see it or investigate it if they did.

He'd do better to make small signal fires more often.

also He needs the forest to survive. and he could never make spirits concentrated enough to light on fire with the supplies he had.

What are the chances the new female lord of the flies remake will display any of the shit we see here?

>But that's fukken stupid.
And that's why we were calling OP a tard.

He's Tom fucking Hanks

Why would anyone fuck a dolphin?

How long should he stand waist deep in water? A few days?

DOLPHIN PUSSY
O
L
P
H
I
N

Because no one would see it and he would have dead land with no resources

He could have been saved much eariler had he lit the island forest on fire and he could still have had Helen Cunt as his wife...

Honestly she should have stayed with him, because they never technically divorced and the church does not condone divoce so technically she was living in sin and her marriage to the dentist is null and void.

I mean she says he's the love of her life, how s that fair to the adulterer she's fornicating with who she left tom for when he wasn't even dead. He moved on right quickly.

She must've been thirsty.

He didn't even know how to make fucking fire at first you think he's gonna Gilligan's Island himself a still?

will anyone miss you if you ever went missing, Sup Forums?

>after just 5 hours of trying
>FIVE HOURS

well the dolphins not going to save him for free

I often wonder if Tom Hanks ever drilled a hole into Wilson and had sex with him?

They did it first

Pretty sure it was made clear in the film that he'd figured out the search party was never going to find him.

From memory this was also long before he learned how to make a fire

Smoke inhalation.

Fucking absolutely zilch

The same retards who think niggers would be living in skyscrapers without white man believe that a female only society on an island would "get shit done!"

Actually a better solution to his problem would have been to save up his own shit, let it dry out, and make his own manure, maybe even collect animal poop in the forest, then once it's all dried out, carry it to the middle of the woods and set the poop pile on fire.

Manure is highly flammable. If Tom Hanks had saved his own feces instead of shitting in the ocean he could have had built a great fire.

listverse.com/2014/01/16/10-bizarre-facts-about-poop/

Speaking of which why don't we as humans use manure in our cars instead of gasoline, we don't have an endless supply of oil, but we do have an endless supply of poop.

Colonialism did ravage Africa, they very well may have flying cars by now had Europeans not itnervened.

Why didn't Tom Banks just hollow out a treat and make a canoe right at the start? It would have been faster and easier to make.

>Why didn't Tom Hanks character in the movie Castaway not just set the entire forest on the Island on fire
being this retarded

It would have been the biggest distress signle ever! It worked on the Pirates of the Carribean with barrells of run. Elizabeth Swann had the smarts to setthe island on fire and it worked motherfuckers and they didn't have thetechnology we have now. Check and mate.

>Carribean
I don't even know if that would work but man the Carribean is much smaller than the Pacific.

I thought Tom Hanks was stranded in the Atlantic Ocean? And also isn't the Pacific Ocean rather tiny when compared to the Atlantic Ocean and even the Dead Sea?

yes the pacific ocean is tiny compared to the dead sea, exactly

A combination of ickiness, health hazard/environmental reasons and corporate profit. Also, you need to find a way to push the manure through a spray or completely redesign the ICE

animals don't light fires, that's literally the only thing that makes humans different from animals

except you of course

what about electric eels?

Didn't he see some map and realize the crash happened thousands of kilometers/miles away from where they were supposed to fly and that he's in the middle of the ocean where nothing ever passes?

beiber fucked a chipmunk

Wilson was a beter husbando than his actual wife was a waifu.

>bitch I just went to the 7/11 to get snacks and you got married and started a new life while I was gone??

Say what?

FOOKIN HELL

Mrs. O'Leary's cow started a fire. Cows start fires, they also are known to produce a lot of methane.

Mrs. O'Leary's cow, I think she named it Bessie, literally lit all of Chicago on fire and killed millions.

>im up shit creek, what do? I know, I'll make my situation much worse
Well, that's exactly how disaster movies work.

Tom Hanks should have just tunneled under the ocean like El Chapo, I mean we have Trains that run under water in tunnels that are dug.

multiple orgasms from dolphinpussy juices

That is disgusting. Wasn't there a page up on the net over a decade ago about some guy who was a dolphin sex enthusiast, and he had this whole guide about "dolphin love", and he even talked of being careful when giving a male dolphin a blow job because they ejaculate at such a force that it could snack your neck in half or something?

You absolute imbecile if niggers were so advance europoors wouldnt even be ablento set foot in their god forsaken shithole

All of you are ignoring the fact that this tropical jungle would never engulf in flame especially right after a tropical fucking storm. Green plants are pretty fucking hard to catch on fire.

The people I own money to

Even if by some miracle drought he would be able to light a damn tropical jungle on fire, he just fucked himself over because just fish aren't nutritious enough for humans to survive on. also smoke inhalation

retard do you think some omnipotent being sits in his office and watches all island in the middle of the fucking ocean?

Africa was 10 centuries behind everyone else which made them such an easy target, but yeah sure they would've gotten ahead in less than a century if not for whitey

They came to rape, village, and steal African resources, and not to mention slavery, but slavery.

Also
>the pyramids

Case closed.

That was like saying the Native Americans were asking for it when Europeans purposefully gave them small pox infested blankets in the disguise of charity, that was sneakier than the trojan horse and pearl harbor combined.

Okay first of all Tom Hanks wa son that Island for years, so there's bound to be a dry period a coming. Second if it rained all the time, the plants would drown and the ocean levels would rise, thus Tom hanks would have no beach to live on and he would have to live in the jungle with all the bugs and snakes.

Thirdly all he needs to do is make his own moonshine or shit all over the woods, let it dy and light the bitch up.

I didn't say they had it coming though, just saying with my limited knowledge that because they were so far behind they were easy to take advantage of

But at the same time, not being taken advantage of does not mean they would've had flying cars by now, if they had the potential for it they wouldn't have lived in mud huts while everyone else would literally be sailing across oceans lol

>Africa is real
Get woke my brotha they have tricked you for too long

>no one posted that webm
is Sup Forums officially dead?