Times you were Rich Sanchez

>walking down the street
>see a Religious White Christian offers bibles to sheeple
>go up to him
>explain how everything he believes is a lie, how Christianity is responsible for all the problems of the world, how most of the evil people in history are Christian, and how improv is the best comedy ever
>open bible and fart on it
WUBBA DUBBA DUB DUB SOMEBODY STOP ME

Other urls found in this thread:

themarysue.com/rick-sanchez-prank-calls-joel-osteen/amp/
fictionpress.com/s/3206139/1/
youtube.com/watch?v=JcVGDV67L-g
youtube.com/watch?v=o_rz1bluG_k
knowyourmeme.com/memes/keit-ai-finds-a-way/
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebOriginal/KeitAi
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Kek
Roiland did this in real life

themarysue.com/rick-sanchez-prank-calls-joel-osteen/amp/

>see Nazi
>punch him
Feels good.

>Have 7 year old son
>He is praying before bed time
>Drunkenly stumble into his room and tell him that God isn't real and praying is for desperate idiots
>Also his mom is a whore
>Puke on his bed

how it actually happened
>go to the store
>see guy in kekistani shirt
>get scared if i dont treat him nicely he'll sperg out
>wave him hello
>go buy my gluten free bread
>go home and post on /r/hillaryclinton about how it was against the odds that trump won and claim it was rigged
>go to bed early with a smile on my face

I built a lock for my secret laboratory in my garage using the proper arrangement of some dead bugs.

Okay, to be fair, I used roaches instead of flies and it unlocks a door leading to a room than make shit pop up.

He did it for a charity stream and because Joel Osteen's megachurch was refusing to help Harvey victims who didn't pay him. Joel Osteen is little more than an inspirational speaker and an utterly corporate perversion of Christianity.

>go up to him
Not Rick.

More like
>see NeoNazi coming out of house
>go up to him with my granddaughter and beat him up

Rick goes up to people all the time. Like when he went up to a Nazi and pet-abuser and beat them up

Let's see him do that to a Quran. You can insult Christfags day in and day out, but no one dares to take shots at Muslumfags for fear of being called a bigot, or a victum of murder suicide.

I am so much like Rick that I joined the Society of Ricks on Facebook.

Don't you have a Trump rally to go to hmmm?

>See shitty meme thread
>OP post shitty image
>Ironically posting reddit-tier shit thinking he's the funniest
>Reply to OP
>"OP IS A FAGGOT!!!"
>Leave thread
RICKY-TICKY TAVVI BEEYOTCH!

>Point out the truth
>Lol Gumshoos and hatting Mexico
Neck yourself.

Oesteens church refusing to help was a lie. The church doors were open to anyone who needed help, but wasn't listed as a shelter because they weren't asked to be one.

dont remember specific examples right now but i probably too was a huge faggot at some point of my life

Rick isn't a homophobe and wouldn't call someone a "faggot". Try again.

>buy a hamburger on a train station
>some hobo asks me for change to buy food
>tell him no
>he asks me how can I have money for this trash *he points at burger* but I don't have spare money to help him out
>Tell him I have money to afford this trash, but I don't have money for trash like him
>he walks away buttmad.

Wow what a faggot

He as put in prison for "everything"
Rick is a canon genocidal pedophile rapist bro
That's why the show is so funny

>Gee, Morty, look at this faggot over here
>R-Rick! I don't think y-you can say those words, man!
>Why? I'm not discriminating or hating on this person because of their sexuality, I'm using the word on the sense that this person is a fucking faggot regardless of their sexuality.
>I'm- I-I mean I'm not sure how that works, you can't j-just say 'nigger' and expect people to ignore the o-original and offensive meaning
>Morty stop being such a little faggot and *burp* help me call this anonymous internet user a fucking nigger. Trust me, the fate of the world depends on it, Morty.

>"All the time"
>lists one scene twice to make it seem more than it is.

>steal candy from a kid
>her mom gets mad at me
>lecture them and tell them there are infinity universes so conventional morality is a lie so it doesn't matter if I steal from her kid
>then kick her in the vagina and make a run for it
>fall down halfway through my run because I'm drunk
BUUUUURP

In the show he said he was going to allahu ackbar a plane, with him and Morty putting on middle eastern clothing
But he also called something "gay". You wouldn't see that in Season 3

So videos of him asking his church for donations after their entire communities had been destroyed were fake, too?

Or are you gonna tell me an undamaged megachurch worth millions really needed that over people whose entire lives had just been taken by a force of nature?

No, it wasn't. He only opened the doors after people were heaping shit on him.

Ironic shitposting is still shitposting.

It's not shitposting if you are acting like the smartest/deepest character ever made.

Reminds me of the time I saw a redneck hick wearing a MAGA hat. I took his hat and threw it to the ground. Then I punched him in the face and said "Get Matriarchy, asshole! I'm with her".
GET SCHWIFTY!

>linking the mary sue

That's cool.

Is this how you get your self-worth? By pretending to be a retard who happens to disagree with you on things?
I really don't get the appeal.

This thread is cancer

I'm an atheist but this type of shit angers me. Is this really the type of "science" the show delves into? Sam Harris on Real Time tier meme-ing and shit talking?

>implying he should need to be asked
come on son

you should see the Tom King one.

>get off the bus
>bible thumper is handing out pocket bibles
>hands one to me
>hold up my hands and give him a week like about being a Buddhist
>retracts his offer "oh sorry, not here to convert anyone!"
>"how unchristian!"

No, the show isn't really centered around religion

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

I asked this in the other thread, but might as well now.

You fuckers loved seasons 1 and 2. Are you guys still mad that the Season 3 premiere was played instead of a new Samurai Jack episode, and you subconsciously believe that was what made the rest of the season pale in comparison?

It's not my fault if you are too much of a Jerry to understand muh subtle intellectual mind.

I'm mad that Adult Swim hasn't replaced all their programming with Rick and Morty.

Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty and I can tell you for a fact it's my favorite show!!. Lik the one time Ricky said said there's probably like no good !!!! i was agreeing so much I'am smarter then you're average fidget spinner teen at middle school to even though I have one. I may be young but I'm smarter then every theist on earth basically the show is also really deep when they said like no one was born for a reason I was so blown away as they must have big balls to say that on tv so I told my friends on minecraft and they agree too. LOL once when my mom took me to McDonald's I asked for the Mulan dipping sauce and the dumb bitch didn't even get the reference XD One time in class i evan shouted "I'm PICKLE RIIIICK!" and Mrs.Janice told me to go outside i fucking hate that cunt school is for dumb ppl just like what Rick said, i m too smart for such imbicells. But yeah I love Rick and Morty and I'm actually smart enough to get it to.

i dont know about this megachurch, but roilands just fucking with an old lady here

its a pretty dick move

seems like she started fucking with him back though

>Sup Forumscksuckers and wim/pol/s still get triggered by the mere mention of this show
Stay classy.

Reported for underage, hope your shitpost was with a ban

Go away, Jerry

>try to trol someone
>get trolled back
this grandma is on the next level

The only thing faggier than this thread is the notion that you losers derive pleasure from mistakenly thinking you're smarter than the "normal" people you encounter on a daily basis, to the extent that you make up stories on a Peruvian shadowpuppet forum bragging about times you emulated a cartoon character to ruin a stranger's day.

"Wow, that guy has a tattoo of a cross on his arm! I can't wait to daydream a pretend confrontation where I explain how his 'god' doesn't exist, just like that drunk scientist I saw on Adult Swim! Sup Forums will think I'm a hero!"

Stop deriving pleasure from pretend circumstances. None of you are enlightened, none of you are special, all of you are unsuccessful, socially alienated fleshsacks navigating this sorry excuse of a world in your own limp-dicked state of perpetual self-pity.

>t. Jerry

>anytime Rick is in real trouble he starts saying "oh god help me"

Why do people get so assblasted about the like 2 times that Rick disses the idea of God? He's supposed to be an asshole and a hypocrite.

>hanging out with my niece and nephew
>they're both excited for upcoming birthdays
>I explain how their date of birth is ultimately irrelevant to their lives, and is only given meaning by the acquisition of material goods on said date
>they shrug
>not wanting to be stumped by these chumps, I explain further how Easter is pointless as well because there's no possible way to accurately record the precise dates of a made up persons centuries old resurrection
>they still don't give a fuck
>im so close to being stumped I bring out the big guns and explain how every single holiday is a corporate power play
>they tell me they can still have fun
>turns out my 11 year old niece and nephew are more successful human beings than I am

>how most of the evil people in history are Jews
FTFY
antifa plz go

yet apparently he's PC enough to use the phrase "people of color"

Or at least he is now that they've met their vagina quota in the writer's lounge.

because religion is apparently a touchy subject when it's about their own and they can't handle even the slightest of ribbing.

Is this what this board has become

It's been 70 god damn years and the jews are still butt hurt.

This is why I stopped being an edgy atheist. All the Atheist speakers Penn Gillette, Matt Dillahunty, Amon Ra, Etc, etc. Were too damn afraid to go after muslims and the koran. That's when I realized atheism was only ok when shitting on Christianity but not islam or judaism or any other religion. I still dont believe in god and shit on all religions equally, islam especially because the progressives love defending it.

>try to carefully explain to my caveman of a cousin why Israel is the worst place and Earth and how it should be nuked off the planet and given to the Muslims
>Get called an Anti-Semite
Why are so many people such idiots? I swear we need to have a mandatory intelligence test for people in order to vote.

Can't handle the intellectual discussion hmmmmm?

>Girlfriend tells me that she loves me
>Tell her that love isn't real and that it's all just chemicals in our brains. That I'm only attracted to her because my brain tells me so.
>She breaks up with me.
Bitchs can't handle the truthz.

>turns out my 11 year old niece and nephew are more successful human beings than I am
They can't be that great considering how small their minds are. You should sterilize them.

Nice bait thread user, work on subtlety though, I just couldn't bring myself to fall for it.

Rick is agnostic/atheist depending on the plot. They never say shit like 'you're a retard if you believe in god, bro!' but there is ONE episode that makes fun of religion.

I mean South Park and The Simpsons have made like 100 anti-religious episodes combined but whatever.

I could care less. The new season is just inferior to the first 2. I liked the latest 2 episodes but the rest had shitty pacing and weren't funny.

Fuck off, Jerry.

Now THIS is a Rick thing to do. Heck, it's better than Rick.

Reddit and MeMe faggots BTFO forever and always.

I mean it, you Rick and Morty fags need to stop freaking out when people point out that your show is getting worse with each passing season

I called a Christian hotline I saw on a really dumb billboard and sperged on some dude a few weeks ago. I had a bad day and just needed to vent I guess but the guy was really polite and didn't deserve my autistic rage. I hung up on him midway through, and immediately felt really bad. I accomplished nothing except making myself look like an ass.

I'll never be a believer but I don't begrudge those who are. I guess I was just jealous of the security I imagine them feeling.

I TURNED MYSELF INTO A PICKLE

IM PICKLE user!

>I don't get it so therefore it's bait
I'm not surprised. Someone like you doesn't have a high enough IQ to understand this thread and this show.

You are better off watching Steven Universe or Teen Titans Go with that inferior brain of yours.

*mic drop*

When did referring to non-white people as "colored" stop being racist exactly because indistinctly remember it being a racist term that old people mainly used

Hypocrite that you are, you trust the chemicals in your brain to tell you that they are chemicals
Will you fight? Or will you die like a dog?

Were you drunk?

Fuck you, Mickey.

I hope Goofy fucks Minnie.

>wasn't asked
Part of the Christian mission is to help the needy by any means necessary. A mega-church should have been the first place to offer up shelter because any money that might be used up would be made back in triplicate by Christmas.

Too bad mega-churches are run by Christians, but by crooked fucking businessmen.

She gave as good as she got

The world would be a better place if you died. You are too stupid to live.

Same reason nigger become an offensive term.
People are dumb.

i'm not much of a Rick. I'm more of a Morty. Like one time this guy broke up with my sister, so I went over to his house and shot him with my crossbow. Got ten years in prison but he learned never to hurt my sister. So that makes me the winner.

...

>commonly misses references

Something something white liberal guilt something something pan-ethnic solidarity.

>vagina quota in the writer's lounge
I definitely misunderstood that first time i read it.

Yes they were.
Repeatedly. In that book he claims to have read at some point.
Helping your fellow man and "love thy neighbor as thyself" is sort of central to the whole "Christianity" thing. At least if you believe the Bible.

>see a nazi
>beat the crap out of him

HOLD ME DOWN!

See

A boy falls in love with his grandfather.

Unable to confess, Morty is gifted by a deus ex machina with Rick's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls him, and is overjoyed to find out that he has a crush on him as well.

But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the old man, he only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the boy he called is not the same senior citizen he fell in love with. In fact, he doesn't exist in this universe at all. He is the the grampa's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of his crush.

Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of INCEST.

>tfw not a Rick
>tfw not a Morty
>tfw not a Jerry
>tfw not even a Kurt Van Houten

FINDS A PICK...LE.

inb4 404

Already a thing.

fictionpress.com/s/3206139/1/
youtube.com/watch?v=JcVGDV67L-g
youtube.com/watch?v=o_rz1bluG_k
knowyourmeme.com/memes/keit-ai-finds-a-way/
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebOriginal/KeitAi

FINDS

> Sup Forums wrote the same exact story as Your Name
> Your Name makes record-breaking amounts of $$$
> KEIT-AI FINDS A WAY
magical memes of 2016

never u fuck

What was the deal with Keit-ai anyway? Did Sup Forums actually have anything to do with it or was it coincidence that it had the same story?

I am positive the reason why they made the pickle rick episode was for people who, un-ironically think this.

How does it feel to be a Jerry?

No one with a triple digit IQ respects nihilism. Only insecure fags with zero conscientiousness and high neuroticism pretend will ever pretend nihilism is cool because if nothing has meaning or value then they can't be failures. It's cowardice in the extreme.

You're thinking of the racist phrase 'colored people'. The term 'people of color' is literally the opposite word order and therefore the opposite of racist.

>No one with a triple digit IQ respects nihilism. Only insecure fags with zero conscientiousness and high neuroticism pretend will ever pretend nihilism is cool because if nothing has meaning or value then they can't be failures. It's cowardice in the extreme.

It isn't actually.

I love how anti-SJWs pretend how they don't understand the difference between colored and people of color. The phrase literally puts the humanizing "people" before color.