Female character giving birth

>female character giving birth
>”AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH”

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what's she supposed to say "OOOOHHH YEAAAA THIS BABY HEAD IS STRETCHING MY CUNT SO MUCH OOOHHH FUCK YES"

Yes

>be kid watching sitcom in living room
>generic sitcom birth scene happens
>parents think i'm watching porn

>she grabs husband's hand
>husband looks like he's in excruciating pain and the crowd laughs

unironically yes

frog thread = crap thread

>female character giving birth
>yells at husband/boyfriend
>doesn't shit everywhere

Giving birth being painful is a meme. It isn’t that bad.

>woman giving birth
>male lover pacing outside in the waiting room

When you were born you literally smeared your entire body against your moms berginus

>Woman giving birth
>Baby shoots out of her bagina
>Doctor catches the baby with a catchers mitt

>Uncensored birth videos on YouTube
Whyboner.

>female character

>woman giving birth
>oh no it's just a BLACKED vid

>*rubs clit*

Well, some women go through orgasmic childbirth.

>A vaginal tear is a spontaneous (meaning a doctor didn't make a cut) laceration to the perineum (the area between the vagina and rectum) that occurs when the baby is pushed out. "During birth, the vagina has to stretch enough to allow a baby, whose head is the size of a cantaloupe, to come through it," says Sherry Ross, M.D., an ob-gyn and women's health expert at Providence Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California. "Hopefully, the vagina will stretch just enough without tearing, but often a tear does happen.".....First-time moms have a 95 percent chance of experiencing some form of tearing during delivery.

>female character giving birth
>no nasty, slimy turds flying out of her asshole

>female character unbirthing protagonist
>"HHHHHHHA! HHHHHHHHHHHA!"

Exactly. Ain’t you ever see a kid get bornt before???

>looks this up
>it's real
why did you have to show me this forbidden knowledge...i can never go back....2 years from now im gonna be drunk at a party and this little fact is gonna slip out and everyone will think im a weird freak thanks user

name literally 2 kinos

Sup Forums is the best board

why is Robert the only one looking directly into the camera?
it's like he's staring into my soul

so you feel like black men are more dominant

Grim Prairie Tales
Terror at Blood Fart Lake

>People thinking you knowing proven science makes you a freak
This is what's wrong with society. It's also natural for a husband to pop a boner during their wife's childbirth because naked pregnant woman.

you did that on purpose didn't you sick fuck

NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME IN HER

i don't know where you pulled that idea from but it's okay to think that if you want user, i wont judge

Because he just saw his buddy 3 rows down and is trying to get his attention

>a woman gets intense physical please from a BBC that is basically the size of a baby, but when she gives birth its the most painful thing imaginable
the absolute state of soyboy millennials

haha sucks to be you

hah hah
his wife doesn't seem too happy about that tho
Perhaps she's jealous of the special friendship me and Robert have

Come to Sup Forums to discuss the ongoing shitposting like the rest of the "great memers"?

>screaming gay cowboy
>AHHHHHHH

youtube.com/watch?v=yBLdQ1a4-JI

why would a woman get an intense release from the British Broadcasting Company?

Women just don't understand the bond you share after trusting each other with your lives.

well I dunno look at the other pictures in the series, the blond guy does faggot poses licking his finger and playing around with the nacho cheese but the black guys are always no bullshit. do you think the propaganda is only contained on movies, tv shows, videogames and comics?

>basically the size of a baby
fake news

Looking forward to sasha grey's delivery tape desu.

t. anime posting /r9k/ browsing tranny that won't ever give real birth

lol got a problem down there, whitey?

>black guys are always no bullshit
woooah there cowboy, no reason to stereotype an entire race of people like that, im sure there's plenty of black guys who don't have the straightforward, cut and dry charm that Robert does

>male character with a cold
>Honeyyy I'm sick *achoo*
>Please be my mommy today

>group of people worry about one roastie and her new mouth to feed during huge crisis

Give birth in a hospital and they shoot you up with all kinds of drugs and painkillers, I doubt it's that bad in most cases

I definitely can respect a home birth though

This is a thing? Please for the love of God tell me where I may learn more so that I can do my utmost to avoid witnessing such an utterly DISGUSTING event

cute apu

this, and not to forget
>perineum doesn't rip

Post the webm of the chink giving birth

And how would you know this? Tits or GTFO

2nding this

Damn it mary, you're a loose cannon but you sure get the job done

>and your other Placenta!

my wife pooped while giving birth. the doctor just wiped it up like it was nothing. thats all i really have to say, i cant tell anyone i know personally cause she would be mortified, but i wanted you guys to know this about me

Human beings and reproduction are fucking disgusting

I want out of this physical prison

>women tell you that you should do home birth because its natural or some shit
>mom tell me its better to just go to the hospital and get loaded up on drugs
>mom tends to know best and just do that
>giving birth is this weird high and emotional roller coaster of fun

Can't wait to do it again!

just wait until you meet a girl with boob sweat

The first time my wife gave birth she was already in labor when we got to the hospital but she has such a high pain tolerance she was pretending to be in more pain than she was because the medical staff looked worried that she didn't seem to be feeling anything and she didn't want them distracted which should be a trope in movies for le badass warrior womyn.

it IS extremely painful you know

>the first time my wife gave birth she was already in labor
use some commas

H-HE'S FAST...!

I'd sniff it haha
Just a joke for laughs haha

Sorry if this offends anyone, I just thought it was a funny thing

>husband, unconcerned (unaware even) while smoking in lounge

Depends on if the patient has had given birth before. The more times they’ve done it he easier it gets. Sometime to the point of the baby just popping out

Pleb

For your wife. Was getting pregnant part of her plan?

Given birth to several babies on my OB/Gyn rotation. I’ve only had one (1) patient have a laceration. That 95% figure is a meme

how many of them poop themselves

serious question, how often do they use those vacum things to try to assist in birthing? when my wife went into labor, our regular doctor wasnt able to make it in time, and the hospital doctor was so against the c-section he used this vacum thing to try to help pull my kid out, and after the emergency c-section she had this huge lump on her head and had to stay in the NCIU for almost a week, on top of having 2 blood infusions immediatly after the c-section.
worst goddamn experience of my life, i wanted to hit the doctor so bad for not just agreeing to the c-section right off the bad, when the surgeon came in, he looked super pissed to

>Characters flirting.
>Smash cut to the couple throwing themselves against a wall in a breathy makeout.

what does sex fel like?

My moms doctor recomended her to do DP to stretch the pussy, my dad wasnt very happy about it

Where my kidney stone boiz at? These bitches have no idea what pain is.

>sex scene
>guy finishes inside the girl
>she stands up and gets dressed straight away

pretty good. condoms are bullshit, dont listen to anyone who says you cant tell the difference.

>sex scene
>no fighting over who has to sleep on wet spot
>woman dosent immediatly go sit on the toilet
>guy dosent rub his fingers on his dick and smell it while shes in the bathroom
movies are bullshit

Lmao this is why I come to Sup Forums, you dont read shit like this anywhere else
Love you guys

Not really what this thread is apparently about, but I need to get this off my chest.
>character is supposed to be this great writer, artist etc, who everyone's the biggest fan of´
>we never get to see or hear anything about their actual work or if we do, it's pretty mediocre at best.
How am I supposed to buy their character? Jesus. Frustrating.

>wife gave birth few months ago
>had no epidural
>held my hand, didn't break it or anything
>gave out a few huuuunghs
>baby popped out fine
>wife started laughing as she held our son
>"wow user, that didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. All the women who said its the worst pain ever are full of shit"

I love my wife.

>my experience is the same as every other womans experience
aside from that, im glad you had an easy birthing user. what did you name the little rug rat?

Im glad the bbc stretching exercises worked user
Regards to your bitch

Caesar

>implying worse thing won't happen
You can get a lot more fucked by knowing that

>Berginus is a genus of insects with 7 observations
Que?

You want to ruin movie experience for me right
T. Romantic and virgin

be a gentlman and sleep on the wetspot, just put a towel down. that will help insure you have a 2nd time, should you ever have a 1st time

>Wives
FUCKING NORMIES, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Mine was like this. But how long was the labor? Nice short, efficient labor is god tier, but for the women who are in labor like 20 hours? Fuck that a million times.

Also, some babies have huge heads.

But I agree with your wife. I tried to get the epidural, but couldn't, and ended up glad I didn't, and thinking, meh, that wasn't so bad. But I also have a monumental pain tolerance to begin with.

its ok user, i used to be like you. i cleaned up, bought a nice outfit and started going to church. there are thousands of cute, nice church going women that will only date guys who go to church. and you know what else, 75% of the males in the church they are related to, and the other 25% are to old, to young, married, or the garbage leftovers.
you dont even have to believe, just sit there, be quiet, do the occassional volunter thing once every 3 months and you will be gold with them

>go to church in Australia
>90% of people there are Chinese or Korean

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I do have a gf, but I think the concept of marriage is retarded. I don't think we're meant to be with some chick who'll get fat and shit out kids for the rest of our lives.

>australia
im sorry user, is it really as bad as i hear there, what with the abbos and killer bugs and boxing kangaroos?

>some women sit down to take a shit and squat a baby out of their smelly craw they didnt even know they had

You know, you don't have to get married to get fat and shit out kids.
Marriage is what people make of it.
But I also get why marriage is somewhat irrelevant nowadays. I had to explain it a lot to my relatives on behalf of my brother.

>dramatic or inconvenient moment in plot
>"I think my water just broke!"

i hope this has happened. sounds like a david zucker film

>water breaks in movie
>its just a small puddle of clear water instead of a gallon of thick, viscous ooze that smells like something should never smell