The Gems are Von Neumann Machines

Just an observation. Discuss.

youtu.be/Rpy9Qp7NAaw

> With only Mass Effect.
Hey user, fuck you.

No, they're projections of Rebecca Sugar's repressed sexual urges.

Yeah, people have been calling the gems space viruses for years now. At least since we saw the first kindergarten.

I've just been assuming they're the artificially produced remnant of some long-gone race, so yeah pretty much this.

Huh, i guess yea.

No, they are not.
They don't self-replicate.
And they do not replicate uncontrolled at all.
They are an artificial civilisation, but they are conscious and produce specific, differentiated members of their civilisation to do a task, and they have goals beyond replication. They think about power projection, control, loyalty.
And their reproduction uses external machines that are produced by mechanical means far different from their own mineralic seeding process.
So, no. No Von-Neumann machines.
Hell, they have relationships with other species and communicate about their emotional status!
And they cannot make more of themselves by themself.
So humans are a better fit.

Humans are Von Neumann machines. Prove me wrong.

Von neumann is a human. Prove me wrong, machines.

>Newmann

I can't get over how many people fucking do this.

It's Noy-man right?

theres a theory that in the game ''factorio'' the player is a von neumann probe in humanoid form.

Neat

Humans are just machines of flesh. Prove me wrong, Newman.

>Newman

Jerry.

+++Flesh is just a weak machine, prove me wrong, fellow Mechanicus+++

They're Orks except infinitely less entertaining.

Beth

its no-ar man as in noire

Chris

Meg

Get on my level, guys. I think the gems were created by a quintesson-esque species for specific purposeses, including sex slaves. Thats why so many look attractive and pearls are treated like properity because they were made as sex slaves.

Wonderboy

Cap'n

Tony

Louie

This is un-ironically one of the few answers that makes sense in universe

I like this theory.
But I don't have any faith the show would reach a conclusion like that.

I half expect it to be canceled. Or there's a writer strike. or something.
...and we'll never know if Woody reaches Jessie and The Prospector in the Gold Mine in time before the dynamite explodes.

I think they're machines created by a race that they usurped.
Like the alien version of terminators.

Jeannie

Master

Bruce

Kyle

Spongebob!

In a minute

I assumed they were always meant to be the girl show equivalent of transformers. So being an ancient product of some other species like the Quintessons makes sense here.

Why are you implying that a Von-Neunann machine has to be a self contained unit with only basic cognizance? They can be a machine that builds machines to accomplish their self replication, and they can be advanced AIs with advanced knowledge as long as the primary goal is self replication. Novels exploring these machines already involve things resembling gems in their behavior and design

Nah. They're a drunken creation of a Rick who was trying to make a trippy crystal planet. Them evolving into galactic conquerors was not part of the plan.

You know, that could be a whole self-contained episode really, Rick and Morty get a space-version of pic-related and it grows world-conquering rock people.

>They don't self-replicate.
What are kindergartens?
>And they do not replicate uncontrolled at all.
They presumably strip entire planets of resource to make more of themselves.
>They are an artificial civilisation, but they are conscious and produce specific, differentiated members of their civilisation to do a task, and they have goals beyond replication. They think about power projection, control, loyalty.
Von Neuman probes are supposed to have goals beyond just reproduction they are meant as explorers,colonists/soldiers their reproduction is just a practical means of doing that across the vastness of space.
>And their reproduction uses external machines that are produced by mechanical means far different from their own mineralic seeding process.
It's still using local resources to make more of themselves I'm not sure why you're splitting hairs.

Hi I'm from /sci/ I don't think you faggots or the dumb bitch who makes your safe space show knows what a Von Neumann machine is. ok gbye for now :)

>as long as the primary goal is self replication.
Isn't that just every living thing?

have you watched this show

...well no

fucking brainlet

Yeah Von Neumann machines are basically just any self replicating Androids in space built by another species

gotta watch cartoons for tumblr babies to get the noodle doodling right?

>attempts to draw conclusions without collecting evidence, or merely collecting circumstantial or other indirect evidence
fucking
brainlet

I don't have to watch sugar's shitty show to know she's a cunt just like I don't have to read your vore-fic to know you're a faggot.

...

d-don't post cute anime girls when I'm yelling at you user.

Just give up on the show. Rebecca is a hack. S

...

>Solving captcha automatically posts
Wow, ok.
Anyways, She doesn't deserve the position she's in.

That's a custom setting, I don't know if it's enabled by default

I'm telling you, giant space oysters!

Why there is no male role model in steven universe?

>some /sci/ fag shows up to pretend to be smart and immediately gets btfo by people who watch children's cartoons
Holy shit I'm glad I left this tab open overnight.

>not modeling yourself after Greg
The important thing is that you tried.
WEEDLY WEEDLY WOW!

Greg is the best animated father I've seen.
Plus he fucked a huge space babe.
What's not to look up to?

this retard is pronouncing von neumann wrong

greg deserves to medals.
one for being such a bro with the gems and his son, and the other one for dealing with all the shit pearl throws at him.

does anyone have the season 5 MEGA?

not to mention forgiving amethyst so quickly after she went way, way too far

>fat hobo with a host of mental disorders
>too afraid to even live in the same house as his son
>best dad
It's sad that your standards are so low

>wealthy but lives spartan
>provides all financial support his son and the gems require
>built his son a house
>lives within walking distance
>greatest goal in life to spend time with Steven and make sure he's happy
>not best dad

If you don't think Greg is the best you're probably hung up on shit that doesn't matter

>gave up on his music career because he wanted to fuck a pink rock
>freeloaded with his ex manager's dumped pregnant gf because was an overgrown manchild
>kicked out of the house his wife built for him by her space rock minions
>has his kid taken from him by said space rocks as soon as he's able to talk
>sleeps in his van because he's too emotionally traumatized to sleep in a bed like a normal person
>faked an injury so he could have an excuse to force his son to spend time with him, like couldn't just ask what with being his goddamn father
>best anything
Greg a shit.

He's better than your dad.

he probably knows that the gems raising him is for the best (and plus saves him the trouble of pearl throwing shit at him in front of steven), since he's more gem than human.
but he's always there when steven needs him, even if steven doesn't know he needs him at that time.

>implying he knows his dad