ITT: Scenarios where Jeb! wins

ITT: Scenarios where Jeb! wins

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youtube.com/watch?v=w-McIdVuY88
youtube.com/watch?v=jw2-EbXnwvs
guacamolebowl.com/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

my dreams

I don't even think a parallel universe exist where Jeb! Wins.

An ugliest wife contest.

alternate universe

Literally any scenario

>hillary arrested for running a pedo sex ring
>trump arrested for denying the holocaust
>pence and kaine recognize their love for each other and drop out to elope in vegas
>congress says fuck it, bring on the guac

>Jeb! gets thoroughly schlonged in primaries (nothing much different)
>gets fucked so bad he stays in dubbya basement after pulling out of the race
>meanwhile trump becomes moonman with calling out islam
>rustles some jimmies
>RNC gets snackbarred
>yeb wins GOP nom

>No Jeb! that's not how you run for President!

Every other human being dies simultaneously, Jeb votes for himself

...

hahahaha

>Morman fag wins Utah
>Gary wins New Mexico
>neither Trump nor Hillary can get 270
>goes to republican house
>RNC picks the only man capable
>Jeb!

>Purchase over 11 million times the amount of currency on the entire planet's worth of Guaca Bowles from Jeb Bush's site
>Jeb purchases over 300 billion hours of commercial space on 50 national television stations, OR over a billion hours of commercial space on all television stations
>People are watching literally nothing but non-stop Jeb commercials for the next 114 thousand years on every television station on the planet

>He still doesn't win the election

>The year is 22016, the 20000th anniversary of Eternal Guaca Bowle God King Jeb's failure to win US Presidency
>No businesses exist any longer besides Guaca Bowle manufacturers, Guaca Bowle distributors, Guaca Bowle vendors and Guaca Bowle propagators
>We have long since forgotten how to make guacamole, or what guacamole may have even been; Guaca Bowle is all we have left
>The ancient pre-recorded sounds of Guaca Bowle Lord Jeb, may his holy guacamole recipe remain secret for all times, telling us over the Guaca Bowle propagation machines that Sunday Funday quickly approaches gives us hope and relief from our miserable existences

>269-269 electoral tie
>Speaker of the House picks president
>Paul Ryan, unable to muster the courage to select himself, chooses a freshly invigorated Jeb! to lead our once great nation.
>Anarchy ensues

If everyone liked turtles.

Turns out the Bush's are higher ranked in the illuminati than anyone ever suspected.

Bush Sr. instates Jeb! as dictator after Trump leads the country a little too far towards independence from the globalist agenda.

...

Trump has a heart attack and dies in 2014

Bush Sr. was CIA for a gorillion years

kek'd

DELETE THIS

Guacamole becomes the new national dish of the US.

...

Meanwhile, in his mind.

...

I actually kinda wish I'd bought a Guaca Bowle.

Although I vaguely remember someone who posted pictures and it was ridiculously small and didn't even have the ¡Yeb! logo on it.

Guys im getting nervous

been on the Jeb! train since last February, but we're 9 days away from the election and are still stuck at 0.00000001% of the vote

we're still gonna win right?

Slow and steady, my fellow Jebhead

The electors at the electoral college vote Jeb, and its legal.

Kick the United States out of America

Why does his thumb looks like it has a foreskin?

...

youtube.com/watch?v=w-McIdVuY88

I miss the innocent Jeb days!

That's a bandaid you cock

He cut it making guac. Dead serious. And he ended up with blood all over his shirt from buttoning up.

youtube.com/watch?v=jw2-EbXnwvs

I cry every time

guacamolebowl.com/

>He cut it making guac.
It could have been worse for Yeb

...

poor guy

If I was idly rich I would. No matter how I try to justify it I just can't throw down 75 on a guac bowl.

I forgot how much darker Trumps hair was back then. His light hair is much better.

All of them.

my sides

Post Turtle ¡Yebs!

<

"At least he finally has more energy, he go the knife all the way through!"

wtf thats the second time that pics been pulled and its not even bad or illegal gore. looks like fucking hot sauce got spilled on a table

i think jeb is a mod now...

It wouldn't so much be for the bowl as for the memories. I don't even like guac.

But no logo makes that kinda pointless.

>Although I vaguely remember someone who posted pictures and it was ridiculously small and didn't even have the ¡Yeb! logo on it.

The first edition of guacabowles were literally generic ones you can still buy on Amazon for $1 a piece. The last edition were actually high quality guacabowles that DID have the Jeb! logo and are now collector's items. One user posted pics of it.

...

poor thing

A few weeks before he dropped out people were posting here to stop bullying him.

very nice

my wet dreams more like it

I'm just glad we got out of the Republican primaries without having Jeb commit suicide live on stage. For a while, I was seriously worried that was going to happen.

>post your face when Jeb! leads a military coup to over throw the president after election day

>JEB! becomes alt-right leader
>poll surge
>elected
>builds American space elevator.

None, the establishment didn't care who would win. That why they rigged the primary. They gave Jeb oodles of money and a weak field to be could out spend them. Hillary had he super delegates.

little did they know the fatal flaw. The Republican party was susceptible to hostile take over via populism.

Your mother blows me

>October 31
A tape is released of Trump and Pence privately attacking both African and Hispanic Americans, Trump is caught saying 'Nigger' at least 17 times and twice says 'I can't believe those spics think we actually want them just because they came here legally, they are all the same'.

This is such and extreme embarrassment, that Trump and Pence finally concede and step down, their names still appear on the ballot, but an emergency RNC meeting declares Jeb as the new nominee.

>November 7th
The FBI investigation of Anthony Weiners laptop reveals He, Bill and Hillary flew on the lolita express 6 time, with Hillary sexually abusing a 12 year old black girl twice.

Jeb Bush wins the election with all 538 electoral collage votes.

Kek let this happen

He's so lovable I hope this does happen. Wouldn't even be mad, he seems much smarter than his brother other than his choice in wife

my fucking sides

anyone have screencaps of the thread when that guy took a shit in his jeb guaca bowle

fucking rekt

literally everyone in the world dies except for jeb.

He then votes himself in

>Goes to vote.
>Thinks real hard
>Votes Trump because he knows he'd do a bad job.

wtf i hate jannies now

S L O W
T
E
A
D
Y E B !

this. this one knows.

>that picture
good god

...

>He fell for the "America runs on Dunkin" meme

I've felt the hate rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wonder out where you can't see
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed
Goodbye!
I wipe it off on tile, the light is brighter this time
Everything is 3D blasphemy
My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up
This is not the way I pictured me
I can't control my shakes
How the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this
Is it a dream or a memory?

Holy fucking Kek my sides

newfag

SHUT THE DUCK UP!

Heaven