Kingsman the Golden Circle

What happened? Where's the spykino?

Other urls found in this thread:

rogerebert.com/reviews/kingsman-the-golden-circle-2017
youtu.be/5DkNJAFvqt8?t=3s
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Why would you be surprised that the sequel to one of the worst movies ever made was also a piece of shit?

I can tell you're RACIST from this comment alone

Too sexist. Literally the Trump of movies.

Goddamn Sup Forums has some shitty opinions sometimes.

Lower critic reviews is actually more encouraging for a kingsman sequel imo, means they go off the rails more.

>Worst movies ever
>

(You).

...

It's based of a comic, sweetie.

A comic by the intelligent and quirky Mark Millar.

*slaps face*

Dummy

They're still sore about how Obama was killed in the last movie while Trump doesn't die in this one

They killed Roxy so fuck them

Bitch was a dyke.

I'll let you know how it is. I'm going to go see it at 6pm tonight at the Alamo Drafthouse in Houston.

Now I've never actually read the comics so this is just gonna be an analysis of the movie.

Millar BTFO

Tell me if they killed Roxy. If yes, I'm not watching it.

That's odd... Because one of the most positive reviews I've seen for the film came from The Mary Sue

Actually yeah that's probably a good reason for like 80% of the salt.

Really? That's a dick move especially since they're retconning Harry's death

Um no try again sweetie :)
go back to your little containment board :)

No no NO. I refuse to believe that many humans would be this fucking retarded. I mean fuck the movie indirectly nods to conspiracy theorists in way for Christ sake.

It's a comic book movie

Just because it doesn't have Spider-Man or Batman doesn't change it.

Why don't you go back to ?

>kino
You are what killed this board.

>halle berry is 51

I mean it is pretty fucked up that they made Obama a collaborator in the villains scheme.

>I refuse to believe that many humans would be this fucking retarded.
Why would you do that?

Too problematic for the tumblr critics

So, is Merling gay after all or does he date the Stateman chick?

Umad, bro?

it have that americuck from jump street he is shit

No, just disappointed.

It looks like he'll be playing an obnoxious cowboy American stereotype so I'm not sure what the problem is here for the casting choice.

>so I'm not sure what the problem

that retard is in the movie


that´s the problem

Isn't Rotten Tomatoes just our version of IGN?
I never trusted those guys after the Lego Movie

He's literally in the movie for five minutes and then frozen.

What was even the point?

Did Channing decide last minute he didn't want to be in the movie?

Did they rewrite the movie to give Harry more screen time?

>Those guys
They're just aggregators, mate. They don't score shit.

Obama's pretty scummy, bruh. He'd totally be in on this population decrease shit.

Unfortunately.... rogerebert.com/reviews/kingsman-the-golden-circle-2017 (bottom of the review)

>sometimes

Tatum is still somewhat of a hot commodity, they probably got him for as much as his schedule allowed and then filled the trailers with him to give the impression he was a main character.

It's a movie about white brits, what does race have to do with anything?

Looks like it's up to Ninja go to save the weekend

>He's literally in the movie for five minutes and then frozen.
wtf really?that´s false publicity

in the trailer they make you think he was the companion of the main character in all the movie

>This movie also features a United States President, but not a real one, as the last film did; this movie’s president is white, and played by Bruce Greenwood. It’s probably just a coincidence that this movie is produced by Fox. It probably means nothing that this movie, made by people who invited you to laugh at the violent death of the United States’ first black president, won’t touch Donald Trump with a ten-foot pole. They can’t be racist, right? They cast Halle Berry in this movie and Samuel L. Jackson in the last. They approve of black actors at least.
Unbeliavable.

Also
>This movie’s plot hinges on tainted drugs that will kill, potentially, all the world’s substance abusers.
This is the first movie I see where the protagonists are this proactive, that's kinda nice.

Wow tracking a whole paragraph for that butthurt and not actually talking about the film.

And they wonder why nobody respects critics anymore.

You can just imagine this guy realizing Trump wasn't blown up too and going
youtu.be/5DkNJAFvqt8?t=3s

Yep, they were definitely upset over that. Of course, if it had been Bush or Trump they would have given it five stars.

A little bit of extrapolation might lead one to the conclusion that this movie has a fictional president because Trump died offscreen in the previous film along with other people in positions of power.

>Biting political satire, 5 stars

They pulled a Men in Black 2.

Most of the movie is bringing back Harry who has Amnesia and having to jog his memory. Even though his death was one of the biggest things from the last movie.

The Statesmen are also underdeveloped.

I was were lucky that at least part of that footage in the trailer is real.

>americuck
into the trash your opinion goes.

That would be extremely petty to a movie that was a nice little action spy movie. These better not be the same people that gave Ghostbusters 3: please kill me, a pass.

>america
>not the land of the cuckold

>this movie’s president is white
...As were all POTUS but one. So what's the problem? Did liberals sincerely thought that after Obama all presidents would be black only forever more? Because the only non-white candidate in the last race was Ted Cruz, and he ran as a Republican.

>Kingsmen 2 at 52%

>Lego Ninjago at 85%

What fucking alternate reality did I just fucking wake up in.

No. This is too sensible an opinion. We need to knock it back to the extremes to foster proper Sup Forums rage.

So if you're pro-trump then clearly Trump would never have been part of the first movie's scheme because he's too smart, the smartest person ever, and too wily a deal maker. Jared Kushner is also a trained ninja who defeated the prosthetic leg chick and turned her into a freakin' mummy, man. Let's see her get work with Tom Cruise now.

If you're anti-trump then they tried to put a chip in his head but failed when they couldn't actually find his brain, only an oversized racist gland that immediately tried to kill Samuel L. in real life.

>95468479
Man even by Sup Forums standards this is some of the weakest fucking bait in a long time.

what are you doing out? Back in the trashcan before someone accuses us of littering.

what are you doing out? Back in the cuckshed before someone accuses us of littering.

Two stars out of four, and they brought up the backlash against the movie. You can probably guess what they thought about that...

IGN writes reviews. RT just compiles reviews written by other people and aggregates them.

They made everyone be in on it.

you do know you have to be 18 to use this site right?

>some idiot crossposter from Sup Forums
>Sup Forums

It's a Sup Forums movie, dumdum

You're thinking of Sweden or any other country overrun with refugees.

>Never saw Jump Street
>Never saw This is the End
>denying homosexual feelings to chiseled man-bod

He probably died in the first movie. This movie has a Pence stand-in who gets impeached and replaced with a Hillary stand-in at the end.

Except I've heard that Kingsman 2 is great and Ninjago is shit, so once again reviewers can't be trusted.

Everything's been pretty fucking weird lately, if you haven't noticed.

does no one use fucking spoiler tags anymore?

>HURR POPULIST PRESIDENT????? OMG BIZARRO WORLD

shut the fuck up

It's what anything based on a Millar work deserves.

Even if it had Spidey or Bats you should stick on that's where movies belong, secondaries should all die

or maybe he meant in movies and comics.

take the stick out of your ass and then take your own advice please and thank you user.

Rubio and Carson, both republicans as well

>ALL NEGATIVE COMMENTS WITHOUT A DIRECT SUBJECT ARE DIRECTED AT TRUMP
Holy shit Trumptards are pathetic

>thread about a movie
>HURR DURR LETS BRING POLITICS INTO THIS
Consider suicide

>being this autistic

Sup Forums movies belong on Sup Forums.

Like Korra says, You Gotta Deal with it.

*mic drop*

...

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't like it. The whole cowboy motif of the Statesman is fucking stupid.

What a nice fucking thread about fucking comics you are having here Sup Forums, I sure fucking love visiting Sup Forums and seeing this fucking shit in here.

He's this movie's Jack Davenport. A badass character you're led to believe will be important but actually gets axed early on for shock value.

Holy shit, I forgot about that. I guess it's true, black really doesn't crack.

Kingsman is a comic. Movies based on comics can be discussed on Sup Forums

I really, really hope the reviewers are just being stupid and the movie is at least as good as the original. It's probably a long shot but a man can dream.

The Age of Mark Millar is dead.

Critics don't understand when a movie is litty

>Kingsman is a comic
Mark Millar doesn't write comics. He writes illustrated spec scripts.

>alamo drafthouse
a man of culture

This isn't Sup Forums user.

Alamo Drafthouse user here.
Serendipitous that a disjointed treacle whiskey shake would be a good example of what went wrong here.

First off, Roxy's dead, so whoever won't see it for that there's your answer, and no that's not a spoiler it's in the trailer so whatever. What I didn't expect was they killed the pug too and then have a one-off scene with a puppy that lasts five seconds and gets forgotten and the dog SHOULD be important because they do the same bit to fix Gallahad

Channing Tatum's barely in this, it's a complete bait and switch and I'm pretty sure it happened because they wanted to keep him around given the last scene and if he was the doublecrosser it wouldn't have worked

The movie is disjointed, people are happy then mad then pointlessly dramatic to get people upset with each other for little reason. Why fucking throw the whole sexing the target bit in? Just make Whiskey do it and have a good banter of his southern manners not letting him do it with a drugged out woman, and then hint to the bigger issue with his convictions there instead 'my fiance is sleeping with women and called me so I'm gonna do pouty pot instead of just doing it because it's weed and legal in europe in some places and she's celebrating maybe?'

I'm frustrated because there's a decent movie in here. The final fights, Elton John, bringing back Gallahad, COUNTRY RO~OAD~ and they couldn't keep focus, much less sides of the Atlantic. Zipping between Kentucky, then Glastonbury, then Kentucky, then Italy then Kentucky then fucking Cambodia is not the same as zipping about England most the movie.

And they didn't even have mushy peas with the fish and chips, what the fuck Alamo Drafthouse?

4.5/10, right shitshow innit

Oh yeah, and it literally brings in the old controversy with the church so reviewers who get all 'hurr durr why didn't the white president die in the end' shut the fuck up you got your pound of flesh two years ago
Fuck I'm mad now I should have gone to see It.

>since they're retconning Harry's death
>shot through the eye point blank

so now her majesty's secret service has life model decoys

at what point does one simply say "Mark Millar is a thieving no-effort cunt"

Thanks for the review, user. I was gonna check this out with my sis but I'll probably see It or mother! instead

Well fuck, that's what I get for being hopeful and excited about something.

Welcome to the shitty berenstain bears universe brother

I'm still here. I'm gonna go watch It now, (gas money to drive back tomorrow for matinee wouldn't be worth it) maybe wash this out with spoopy.

Still going to see it. I got myself hyped for it, and I'm my own best critic.

...but man, am I worried.

>SJW gave this bad reviews because of "MUH SEXISM", "MUH SEX JOKES"
But the movie made fun of Trump, why would they not like it?