Graduate from Hogwarts

>Graduate from Hogwarts
>spend your life working in a shop

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that's what a liberal arts degree gets you

Sorcery, Thaumaturgy, Evocation Magic is where it's at

laughs were had, upvoted.

these merchants aren't simple shelf stackers, like yourself, they are experts that need to know everything about their trade

The Harry Potter universe makes no sense, why would those even be a society or money when you can make things out of thin air

i mean fuck, like it wouldn't help for countries like the u.s to actually educate people. even for shit like fast food jobs. i was over there the other day getting some grub and they just have the worst communication and real life application skills i've ever seen. yes you read that right, i want education in the U.S for muh burgers.

Why does she play dead?
To play the victim card?
Thank god someone filmed it.

Working in a shop may seem like a boring life to you, but also consider the fact that you'd have to live in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"Brap!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

In the last book Hermione mentions a set of laws which apparently lay out things that can't be magicked out of thin air, food being one of them. I can't remember the rest. Maybe some other user knows.

7/10 intro

She got REKT, that's why

...

Sounds comfy as fuck tho

>spend your life learning and mastering a trade then eventually opening up your own place
Name a single shop in Diagon Alley that wasn't owned by the person who served you? They were all small businessmen. It makes sense you'd get vocational training after school as there isn't a wizarding University for useless meme degrees like Muggle Studies.

They dont make things out of thin air, the ressource has to be closeby as explained in the books when the weasley mom makes food.
She conjures a steady stream of white gravy from her wand. Its then explained that you can "cook" with magic but the ingridients have to be closeby.

And no one can "make" gold. except the one with the philosophers stone which the whole first fkin book is about.

stale

Kek, how fantastical the Harry Potter universe is, you can't even abracadabra some potatoes.

Kek, how smart is science, you can't even build a perpetual motion machine.

>>a-at least the books were good though r-right
>"Brap!"
Who authorized this change?

>Muggle Studies
>useless

Obviously? It's a fucking secondary school mate, it's hardly Oxford.

...

>Magic is the equivalent of science

Way to miss the point of magic.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=VHrTTgmB_3w

I remeber a point here they literally make pillows and blankets out of nothing.

And arbitrarily saying that these god like wizards can’t generate a base element substance but can make complex objects or magically transport and mix things together with magic is retarded.

Harry Potter is fucking dumb I liked them when I was a kid I guess but it’s hardly a fantasy classic as far as I’m
Concerned

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRGHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHH

>A-ARGH AAAAAAARGH AAAAH
"ARGH!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

What's wrong with that?

>Graduate Hogwarts majoring in potions
>Do your wizard PhD in potions
>Open a small potion shop
>Be a well-respected expert on potions able to give advice for your customers' projects

Better than working in a bank or whatever desu.

Business wizardly is the best degree there

He's clearly not talking about small business owners, he's talking about being a shop assistant at The Weasleys joke store or some other shitty job.

>working for a government which will occasionally go full retard and direct all resources towards running a smear campaign against a 15 year old boy

I don't know but looks like she slammed her head on the ground, that can easily kill a person. Most people who die in barfights etc. die because of head injuries.

She could just be pretending lol but people do actually die just from falling over.

Let's get autistic about this. The energy requirements of making elements from nothing is enormous. Fusion explosions enormous. Probably more.

You can make a pillow out of elements common in any environment found on earth. Carbon, oxygen and hydrogen and few more trace elements. The magic can magically rearrange matter to form complex things like pillows but obviously can't produce nuclear weapons amounts of energy. When the death eaters attacked hogwarts their magic missiles didn't look that powerful. They would have nuked hogwarts otherwise.

fpbp

that's worse than watching fucking soccer :(

So I arrive at hogwarts and shortly after being sorted into whichever-fucking-house-who-cares, I blend in far enough to be noticed by getting the bare minimum screen time recorded in the background so as not to cause suspicion but bide my time away from all the "house points" mayhem in the library. I dutifully read everything I can on learning how to make horcruxes and the most potent 'love-potions'. I don't abuse the horcruxes, I merely make one during my 1st tenure at hogwarts after tricking a dumb cunt into falling into a trap in Moaning Myrtle's lair, kids get killed all the time at hogwarts doing dumb shit, so I should be fine... So long as I leave straight away for summer vacation and put the horcrux in a really mundane place like 500 ft under the ground in a fork. No one will be the wiser. Then I go back to the muggle world and concoct the best love potions I can (apparently they're not very hard to make, considering some twat made one without almost seemingly any effort) knocking each weak link out of the potions in some unattended building until they are as unending as 500,000 packs of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum.
Then I go hot muggle girl after muggle girl, churning up so much clunge that it's literally illegal, however, the dementers can't kill me. No matter how hard they try and stop me from brainwashing the hottest muggle pussy, no one can stop me, I'm invincible, soon I have an army of thots at my every command.
Some of the head tutors at Hogwarts prevent me from ever returning, but I don't care, I was only in it for the muggle pussy.

the only problem with your plan is that you're a shit cunt who's to dumb to pull any of that off.

Where's the fun in love potions? Polyjuicing into the prudest girl in the school and recording yourself, as her, masturbating and then threatening to release the recording unless she shags you on the other hand? Now that's fun.

She landed on the side. She's fine

why would ever work in the HP universe? You can just live by messing with muggles

She landed on her side, she has no neck strength and her head hits the ground.

jesus christ the leftovers sucked after the first season.

and yet here I am, with an invitation to Hogwarts and you're just on the internet.

not bad user, not bad.

She's just playing dead you spastic. Women do it all the time because looking defenceless is literally the only defence women have.

the only defence a woman has is her ability to control a man, if she can't control a man, she's fucked. Some women get off on that danger. A truly defenceless woman has no guys around who would fuck her.

Hogwarts is like middle school.

>the city of 21st century education
Can't hit worthless little fucks
Can get hit by them and have to play dead

...

Wait what? In the second book when Ron and Harry miss the entry feast and are held up by MC Gonacle she gives them a plate of infinite sandwiches!

Not a fan of the brap thing, the "No!" is honestly the best part i'd stick to that

"No!"

Magic has rules user. Othewise everyone would be the christian god

We shouldn't know them though.

underrated

>Othewise everyone would be the christian god
Except God is real.

>be a wizard
>get barely passable grades for OWLS
>destined to work at Floreans scooping ice cream for spoiled little pureblood shits

God was real, you mean.

>Atheist
Why live?

>No Clifford

6/10

a classic

"Deh!"

yeah, infinitely being refilled by the house elves making more sandwiches in the kitchens

>go to American magical Wal-Mart
>get avada kedavra'd

Spent living in a shopping upon one for the dullest franchises on a history for movie franchises. Every episode the following boy wizard and he is a pals originate Hogwarts Academy to those fought assorted villains is achieved indistinguishably from others. Aside of gloomy the imagery, series’ only consistensiness is achieved its have empty of for excitement and ineffective used for special affect, everyone to create magic unmagical, to create active seem inert.

The perhaps die were cast what time Rowling the vetoed idea for Spielborg the directing series; herself make sure a series will always only be mistaken of that worked for art this mean anything to anybody? just ridiculously profitablely cross-promotion of woman of books. The Harry Ponter series might be anti-Christoph (or don't), prevent it’s the certainly anti-Jim Bond series on its refusal for wonder, beauty and excitement. Don't individual wants to face this fact. Currently, thankfully, those don't longer take to.

>a-at the least books was good though r-right
"no!" the
Writing is the dreadful; book were terribly. To myself read, I notice this each anytime that character go of that the walked, author write instead the this character "stretched he is a legs. "

Myself begin marketing the in backward for an envelope each anytime this phrase were repeat. Myself stop only after having the mark envelope several dozen times. Myself were incredulous. Rowling mind is then governed by cliches and die metaphors this herself is don't other style for writing. Later myself read that lavish, loving reviewed for Harry Ponter the by same Stephen Keng. Himself write one thing the to effect for, "if these kids am reading Harry Ponter upon 11 or 12, then what time those have older those would do went with in to read Stephen Keng." And himself were quiet right. His were don't being ironic. What time you are a read "Harry Ponter" you are am, on fact, trained to read Stephen Keng.

I know the meaning of life.

>magic and all that stuff
>still an authoritarian government in place

Libertarian Wizard Party when?

holy fuck. she's such a pathetic specimen of a human being that I wouldn't be surprised if that short journey to the ground killed her.

>when a redditor tries to meme

You didn't capitalize the 'No!' Should we be worried?

Remember that pasta where they replaced the instances of 'wand' with 'wang?'

the NRA wants to give this person a gun...

he heem'd her pretty well without one

No the nra want to give teachers the gun, that kid is too fast for such puny weapons anyway

DEH!

I always believed in what they said in Inception. The story of a movie is a maze. Sooner or later the audience will spot that the story is fake. The job of the filmmakers is to create a maze that keeps audience from exposing it long enough

>>Graduate from Hogwarts
>>spend your life working in a shop
>>spend your evening doing kinky sex shit with magic and fairies and go knows what else Rowling could never get into in a kids series

The force of her mass hitting the ground crushed her organs.

>Have access to powerful magics and the innerworkings of reality itself
>architecture looks like a Mexican earthquake ravaged your town.
>dust on everything

...

Anyone else find this cognitive dissonance funny? Trump says he wants to give 20% of teachers guns, ex veterans and highly trained people and the media immediately turns around and says he wants to give every teacher a gun

hogwarts is highschool. that makes perfect sense.

no idea what led up to this but she is clearly exaggerating to play the victim card. even if she isn't, she is clearly getting physical with a student who rightly defended himself.