Pick a Power

1 second superstrength could be actually useful as fuck- assuming it's 1 second at a time and not, like, 1 second in your whole life. I mean it's basically just on demand adrenaline.

Trash detection would be good for cleaning

Control remote control

Depends how fast 75% levitation is

Invisibility in the dark is useful as fuck

how is 1 second super strength bad it's super strength punches

Invisibility in the dark sounds rad as fuck.
I'd steal EVERY buyfags shelf.
Then I'd post my Omnishelf in the thread.

trash detection

Wouldn't acid tears just burn my face off?

Invisibility or one second super strength. As long as you're smart about where you use them you could do a lot of crazy shit.

If 75% levitation means that 75% of your body isn't affected by gravity, or is at least lighter, then I can imagine that a martial artist with it could do some awesome tricks with it.

But I'm an out of shape loser, to I'll take Remote control control.

Hat seduction

Invisibility in the dark ftw

Seduce hats and get myself a hat harem

Does that mean you become visible if someone shines a flashlight at you?

Does it take you longer than a second to throw things?

>Acid tears
Suicide tear, it kills you
>Invisibility in the dark
pretty useful, actually
>Remote control control
awesome for day to day life.
>Communicate with fruit
As long as you can trust the fruit, they would make excellent spies for you. No one expects the bananas to be your spies. Very useful.
>Trash detection
Become world's greatest janitor, clean your house easy before the hidden trash makes it smell
>75% levitation
well I guess it can let you jump good and feel less fat
>Summon a lamp once
what kind of lamp? If you can summon a really nice and expensive lamp you could pawn it off and buy a shitload of cheap lamps. or just impress people because you have a 500$ lamp you summoned for free. Could be surprisingly useful.
>Bullet attraction
Would make you an awesome bodyguard if you have enough body armor and balls to pull it off
>Read your own mind
Basically know what you truly desire, might make you more decisive
>Instant hair loss
Shit tier, a razor odes the same thing
>Abnormal arm hair
Only useful if you can find a hair merchant looking to buy a lot of arm hair
>Absorb bad luck
Suicide tier at best
>Super slo-mo
I see no real use for this
>Revive bugs
Do shrimp count as bugs? Maybe you could make purple dye like the Phoenicians a revive all the purple bugs used to make Tyrian Purple so you could juice them again in an endless cycle of death and rebirth meant to torture them and take their secretions forever?
>Fast aging
Suicide tier
>Invisible handwriting
probably useless
>1 second super strength
depends on what the cooldown is. if short cooldown you have super punches. if long cooldown, you at least get a short burst of strength when you really need it, like an adrenaline rush
>Laptop forever
suicide tier
>Seduce hats
Only if you're a degenerate hatfucker
>Desaturation
I have no idea what this even is. Desaturating your oxygen levels to turn ashen or cyanotic? well, you could use that to fake your death at least.

I would take Trash Detection.

I think they meant desaturation as in it removes the colors from your body so you look like shades of white, black, and grey.

Enjoy your organs exploding retard since the strength goes away after a second and that kinetic energy has to go somewhere

>75% Levitation
Maybe you can't actually fly but even if it's just being being 75% lighter with the same muscle strength you can climb really easily. A wingsuit or something to glide if you fuck up would be a good idea.
>1 second Super Strength
Assuming you get the necessary durability for that one second too, this is fantastic.
>Summon a lamp, once
Does it have to be the lamp pictured or can I summon a genie lamp?
>Remote Control Control
Just TV remotes or any kind of remote control?

Revive bugs.
Build a sterile bug-free bunker, then proceed to revive every bug that ever lived. People will try to kill them, but you can keep reviving them indefinitely. Hold the entire earth hostage until world governments give in to whatever demands you have. Only then do you stop reviving bugs. If they try to make an attempt on your life then start the whole process over again.

>Super slo-mo
>I see no real use for this
It's better with a buddy
Fall/jump off great heights, someone catches you later. Assuming things like bullets go slow-mo as they hit you, you could be effectively invincible, if not, any life threatening injuries take long enough for medical help to save you in time.

>imageofsimpsonsswarzeneggerlikecharacterholdingamicrophoneonastand.png

Invisibility for sure. If I wanted to talk to fruit I'd go to the bicycle district.

If by dark they just mean dark and not "literally cannot see your own hand in front of your face" black than the invisibility thing would actually be extremely useful if you learned to avoid direct street lights

bad luck absorption is good if you make it a job.

Invisible handwriting would be insanely useful for a spy if they could still read it.

Or you could just carry around a bucket of dead bees and throw it over people before reviving them.

Also reviving all those dead bugs from millions of years ago preserved in amber could be cool.

absorb bad luck, as the near constant misfortunes of my pathetic life would grant me strength

Yeah, the kinetic energy converts to sound and BTFO whatever you punch, given you punch fast enough.

>Revive bugs
I could get a box full of spiders without having to capture live ones.

Imagine the possibilities.

super slowmo could be good to fake a coma

Invisible in the dark seems like the best, since you could use it for night theft

remote control control is the best if it has no limits to the amount of remote control controlling I can do.

It's easily better than anything on that list. You can create a surfboard of remotes. You can use them as shields. Create a giant remote control mecha.

Possibilities are nigh limitless. It's almost unfair how much better is it than the options that range from useless to detrimental

Who the fuck created this as a choice?

Do the acid tears burn the crier? I'll just collect them in test tubes and toss them like grenades.

Bug resurrection so that I can save the bees, and in doing so, save the world.

>Revive shit trapped in amber for a hefty fee
>Make billions

/tg/ 's been talking about this all day and EVEN had the fucking decency of posting a higher quality image you fucking HACK, FRAUD: But, while I'm here.
>Turn into a Laptop Forever
Do you remain sapient? Is your consciousness, intellect, everything transferred to this Laptop or are you just fucking dead? Because if you aren't dead then that power is horrifying because you've basically turned into a Ghost in The Shell/Sapient Super Computer the size of a Laptop.
If you get plugged into Wifi who's to say you won't become some immortal computer brain spirit?

75% levitation as I understand it is basically a permanent boon to your agility.
Invisibilty in the dark could also still be useful.

>Acid Tears
Are you immune to your own acid tears? If so, congrats, your skin is immune to acid and your mucous may be acidic as well. Potentially capable of spitting acid loogies at people you hate or whatever. Mildly dangerous power.

>Summon a lamp once
There's no limit on what kind of lamp, only that you can summon it once: You could summon a lamp that's light heals wounds or diseases on anyone it's shined on, you could summon a lamp that creates portals to other dimensions via the spotlight it makes, you could summon a genie's lamp and wish for more powers, etc..

>Instant hair loss
You don't understand, user: you could make your whole body hairless on whim, the WHOLE BODY. Your ass, cock n' balls, legs, stomach, everything smooth flawlessly with no razor cuts or stubble. You could also just "pop" your head hair off if someone grabs it to I guess, like a lizard's tail.

>Absorb bad luck
You'd have presidents, prime ministers, head of security, gamblers, literally millions of people paying you billions of dollars to absorb their bad luck... If it's manual that is, if it's an aura then you're basically just a walking fucking disaster.

>Super slo-mo
Slow-Mo your metabolism, heart rate, go through resources so slowly it takes days to feel hungry or thirsty, go into hibernation and survive for decades, etc. If it's more of a momentum thing then you're basically immune to falling or slamming into something since you can just slow yourself down.

>Laptop forever
Depends on if you die from becoming an inanimate object or you become a super-smart laptop machine ghost anime.

>Desaturation
The ability to chromatic shift all the tone/pigment in your body from colour to black and white: A "neat" power at best, but you could/might be able to completely desaturate yourself to become a vanta-black-shadow man or something.. maybe scare kids? Rob places? Be known as the "Ink Blot Burglar"?

Slo-mo aura probably wouldn't reduce the injury bullets do to YOU, but it would be very useful in specific situations.
Hug a bomb to give someone else time to defuse it.
Hug a dying child on the way to the hospital.
Even without being able to extend it to other things, slowing down your perception would make the world go in fast forward. Seal yourself in a bunker and travel to the future.

75% Levitation

>summon a genie's lamp

That's a pretty brilliant loophole you got there user.

Invisibility in the dark isn't that bad. I'll take it.

And you could actually go several steps forward with that and end up taking over the world...and more.

>Start choosing which person's bad luck you take away, potentially making them lucky and for how long.

>Gain power and control. Use the consequential karmic backlashes (caused by you upsetting the cosmic balance with all your bad mojo absorption skills) to punish those who would not bend under your will.

>End up becoming a god-like being with all living creatures being dependent on your fortune control so they can be capable of existing in a reality in which addiction to things (emotional and material) is a must have trait.

>Boom. You're welcome.

...

Hmm
As a kid I always wanted to become lamp summoning wizord.So I go with that.
But on other hand you have revive bugs SP wich is too tempting to pass.

Its an extremely hard pick

Comminicate with fruit and become the greatest farmer to ever live

>Use the consequential karmic backlashes (caused by you upsetting the cosmic balance with all your bad mojo absorption skills) to punish those who would not bend under your will.

How do you see this happening, exactly?
You'd always be the unluckiest person in any given situation: if anything unlikely and negative was going to happen to someone it would always be you.
I'm not saying absorbing luck would be a bad power or that it wouldn't be profitable, but it'd take a delicate touch to.. not basically kill yourself or otherwise defeat all your gains and success by inadvertently absorbing too much bad luck and having any number of negative probable outcome happen to you... And not even, like, just 'death', but shit that would blatantly fuck with you.