Greetings traveller. My name is Falconhoof, and I will be your guide on your quest

Greetings traveller. My name is Falconhoof, and I will be your guide on your quest.

a'right

kill jester

Jester is your friend

get troll

Buy feed and seed

JOMP DA CHASM

put on thi bewts o hermes

hey faggot are we gonna play or are you just gonna quip some quotes?

PAY £5,000 FOR LIGHTS

walk forward

Remember traveler in order for me to hear your choices you must get trips

Falconhoof spinoff show when?

sodoku commit

jump chasm

what's your name, traveller?

Falconhoof

LIMOTHY LIMMOND

well let's get started then
you awaken in the dungeons of buchenwald
there are skeletons all around you
the dungeon seems to be locked
what would you like to do?

go north

you can't, you're in a locked dungeon

go south

The chasm is wide and full of flames. You forgot your trips on the other end of the maze. Perhaps if you would like to go though the maze again you could get them

Go north

go from whence i came

you're in a locked dungeon traveller, you cannot go north

take skeleton finger

jump chasm

LOOK FOR A KEY IN THE DUNGEON AND THEN SPEND ALL MY MONEY FROM A TOUR ON LIGHTS

jump chasm

you take the skeleton finger

you're in a locked dungeon traveller, you cannot go south

unlock dungeon with skeleton finger

the skeleton finger cru

my apologies traveler, there was a small problem with the connection it seems
the skeleton finger crumbles in your hands
what would you like to do?

>Millport

open sarcophagus

kill jester

search skeletons

Open dungeon with dick.

kill jester

...

aye dah it

there is no sarcophagus in this dungeon, traveller
you search the skeletons
you find
*looks at camera*
a medieval strap-on
you are dead

equip strap on

Kill Chestah

skin jester

you cannot kill chestah traveler, he is already dead

look it's my money it's my game kill chestah

as you equip the strap-on, you feel movement in the air
the skeletons are getting up
but they are not skeletons any more
no, they are
*looks at camera*
very attractive women

skin attractive women and wear skin

are you sure you want to try skinning these attractive women who were skeletons a mere moment ago, traveller?

yes

you do not even have a skinning knife equipped, how are you going to skin them?

LOYDSPHERMASSY

LOYDSPHERMASSY

dislodge jagged british tooth and skin women

With my teeth

you skin the attractive women and wear their skin

escape the dungeon

bite off own tongue and swallow it

as you are done skinning the last attractive woman
a portal opens
what would you like to do

kill self

irl

Every fucking time

go whence i came

Fuck portal.

Shit into portal.

a guard enters the dungeon
he cannot believe an attractive woman was locked up here the whole time and lets you go
you are outside the castle of buchenwald
what would you like to do?

go from whence i came

Make love to Jester

go up

the portal flashes red
the portal flashes blue and disappears

Turn blue.

you set off on a forest path
after a while you come upon a clearing
to your north, you spot the village idiot's cuckshed
to your west, a lake
you cannot go "up", traveller

take lake

you hold your breath in an attempt to turn blue
the portal re-appears

go whence i came

go through maze then rape me

Die.

Fuck portal.

you are dead
you go back to the castle of buchenwald
it seems someone has killed all the guards
what would you like to do?

kill self and get new quest master

Lads, what's heavier: A kilogram of feathers, or a kilogram of steel?

Fuck portal again.

kill jester

Give jester to the horny ogre for 2 gold

A kilogram and one of air.

a brown goblin-creature comes out of the portal
he says that you're not white and calls you muhammed
what would you like to do?

El atrocidad...

tell him he is a 56%er and force feed him a burger filled with pure aryan cum

Il goblino.......

you do not have any burgers in your inventory, traveller
the goblin pulls out an AR-15 assault rifle

Take out phone and open Snapchat

Grab guns.

yell to the goblin Look a school while point in the opposite direction of him. then proceed to kick him in the taint

unzip pecker

the goblin shoots you
you are dead
you attempt to grab the goblin's assault rifle
since you are wearing an attractive woman's skin, the goblin lets you have the assault rifle and asks you to marry him
what would you like to do?
the goblin lets out a shart
it smells terrible

>Kilogramme

I agree for the magic greencard.

>you are dead
>what would you like to do?
You are shite

No you won't be.