Why doesnt he constantly eat hot dogs and burgers?

Why doesnt he constantly eat hot dogs and burgers?

Why is he interested in girls?

He probably interested in food more than girls

Puffy vulvas remind him of burgers

because this show sucks and this man is not Jughead

The same reason he's not a shitposting madman who destroys thots and instead some stupid emo loser.
Some talentless writer knew his shitty teen drama wouldn't cut it even in the saturated straight to Netflix market, so he had to attach Archie to it for marquee value.
Everyone is out of character because the Archie aspect was slapped on long after writing was done.

i don't understand why people watch shows like this, or smallville, or gotham

...

Because they are basically just pasting Archie names over a fairly generic teen murder drama.

Smallville for that early 2000 nostalgia

I unironically love Riverdale and I love Cole Sprouse.

Cheryl Blossom is best girl

Riverdale's at least intentionally a soap. Complete with incest subplot, screwing the teacher and slutty redheads. The other CW shows are unintentional soaps.

Oh shit, I didn't even recognize him. Fucker looks so different without blonde hair, like im used to. Good for Cole, im glad to see he's still alive and kicking.

What's Dylan up to these days?

>The other CW shows are unintentional soaps.
What makes you say that? From a business perspective, it makes perfect sense. Boys like comics/superheroes, girls like soaps. Combine them and you get a larger demographic. Unfortunately it makes the show unwatchable for people who have taste.

He looks like a girl there

I'd

dead

Damn he's cute.

Esports.

No really

Really? what's he play? or he just a commentator?

Because they're fun AUs.

Which one had nudes leaked again?

It's fun.

Last I checked it was Smash. He's pretty good.

S2 soon.

Also, this show has waifu wars, corny drama, Lucas-tier coincidences.
I mean, it's really well made, schlock.
Like the best.

Games Workshop superfan.

Don't you talk about Cheryl like that.

Man this show was so goddamn crazy.
Roomie got way into it, there's an incest subplot IIRC

Burgersexual is the end game, you can't just start there.

Two actually.

The Blossoms and the Coopers are related making Cheryl/Jason and Betty/Polly cousins. So Polly is pregnant with her own niece/nephew and it was implied for a bit that Cheryl and Jason messed around

Death to the proletariat!

Best boy.

...

Dylan the ugly twin

Which was Dylan again in Zach and Cody? The nerdy one or the chad one

Dylan seems like more of a chad

"Hi, we're Archie Comics. We have no fucking idea what we're doing, so we just latch onto whatever's popular and hope it works."

>Those IG videos of Best boy and new Reggie working out.

He looks like he's takin some hard dick

I would give him the hard dick

Dylan was Zack, the Chad. or at least wannabe Chad

He has a meadery opening in NY this fall

This makes a scary amount of sense.