Tolkien

Thoughts?

let's clarify in advance - how do we fit niggers and LGBTQ people in it?

All of the most noble and decent characters are now based on minorities that Tolkien knew irl.

Make sure to expose the fact that everything related to Middle Earth was written by a black man, who Tolkien stole from and claimed as his own.

so Boromir is inspired by Tolkiens gay friend
cause he was pierced by many

>Tolkien imagines hobbits as black folks

Can't wait to see him get trench foot then work in a communications office in between his friends funerals.

Is there gonna be a scene where Tolkien eats a continental breakfast and gets really full and like going to retch and he sees a shoe shiner looking at him just as he's about to spill the beans and he goes urrrk...hai to the guy and then it all clicks and the movie jump cuts to him writing about Mordor?

Can't wait for the magical negroes and their crucial input to Lord of the Rings that somehow has been omitted until now

I think this thread will soon come to be freighted with excruciating attempts at satire.
ohwait

I don't like Nicholas Hoult, never have.

>Tolkien isn't black
dropped

>"Oh no. Not another fucking elf."
Will it be kino?

>You're loose cannon, Tolkien, but damn you get results

Most importantly, will /our/ Lily get blacked in it?

this obsession

>Tolkien writes in his study
>Wife comes in
>"Dear, are you doing our returns?"
>"No, I'm writing about Aragorn, the King of..."
>"Oh nice, will Aragorn be your tax consultant then?"
>wife storms away, Tolkien grinds his teeth, puts a fat ledger on top of LOTR manuscript
>upbeat french horns in the background

you just wait

Edith was pretty dim compared with the jolly old professor and her insecurity over it resulted in frequent shrewish outbursts.

They forgot the scene where his wife turns out to be the mastermind behind the book

kek

>every scene of Tolkien writing is accompanied by the Isengard theme

>While she brings him tea
>"Oi wouldnt it be great if there was orcs and a ring controlling them cause they aint evil they just misguided, oh and your little hairy feets can save the day!"
>"Just an idea tehe!"

Because it's seriously going to happen, right? I don't think even you guys genuinely believe that but God forbid it should be allowed to get between you and a good self-indulgent wallow.

Edith was pretty dim compared with the jolly old professor etc

This is unironically going to happen. Just look at the jawline of the soygoy playing tolkien.

Yeah, It will be White Man's Black Panther, right.

>product of a single mother
why did Tolkien ever marry the whore to begin with

We all love Lily Collins, but she's box office poison so I don't hold out much hope.

Yes. Why are they making this?

>Tolkien is an upcoming American biographical drama
>American

D R O P P E D

seeing a picture of Nicholas Hoult reminded me there's to be *another* animated series of Watership Down sometime later this year. he's in it as Fiver, James McAvoy's Hazel and Gen. Woundwort's voiced by Ben Kingsley

>won't show Tolkien in the hellish trenches of the Somme
>won't play Concerning Hobbits just as he gets the idea and starts to write "In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit"
>won't play the fellowship theme in broken moments as he writes LOTR, only playing it fully when he's finished

shiggy

How do you manage to *avoid* fags in a project concerned with Oxford?

Hol up, there's a new animated Watership Down series in the making? Interesting.

It will happen. You know it will.

Hollywood is so creatively bankrupt, they make biopics of artists with legendary imaginations instead of creating new ones.

In 50 years’ time, the Hollywood Jews will make a biopic about Dome Karukoski, the visionary director who made “Tolkien”, the biopic about the visionary author.

BRAAP

that was rather clever, user

YOU KNOW I LOOOVE YOU

The worst thing is that this never has really happens. There's all this hubble and despair about blacks and shit, they keep telling you it will happen, and the movie comes out and it doesn't happen. Repeat for the next project.
It's pure outrage for outrage, I don't even get it.

Who gives a fuck about that hack? The only reason Tolkien is still remembered is because he "invented" two languages which are basically just rehashed versions of Welsh, and his works were adapted into one of the most overrated movie trilogies of all time. How about for once we get a biopic on one of the most thought-provoking writers of our time and somebody who actually has relevance to issues which are ongoing in our society? George R. R. Martin, called the "American (in other words superior) Tolkien" only out of lip service to the so-called grandfather of Fantasy, is much better at bringing in gritty realistic themes into his work rather than brainlet dualistic good vs evil. Not only that, but his works have been adapted into the most successful TV series of all time, making them infinitely more relevant that anything Tolkien produced.

weak bait, go fish somewhere else

>and her cunt became the world

nice argument.

to show the true story behind Tolkein and how actually the woman/random minority is responsible for LotR

>the scene when Tolkien meets an american child named Martin that asks him about Aragon's tax policy

Look at that bounce... The tasteful thickness of the slight reverberation of his hand as it slowly settles to point at his collection... Oh my god, the movement of his arm even follows the axis of a perfect circle

>lookup the main cast
>not a single black to be seen
I think you're barking up the wrong tree, lads

a bearded american child*

I saw J.R.R Tolkien at a grocery store in Oxford yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for a signed edition of the Hobbit or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Ash Nazg Durbatulûk Ash Nazg Gimbatul?” but he kept cutting me off and going “Ash Nazg Durbatulûk Ash Nazg Gimbatul?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen pipes in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be shellshocked and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any tax infetterance,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each pipe and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by speaking Quenya really loudly.

>Kid: Uhhhh Professor Tolkien why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?

Why is pol so afraid of women and homosexuals?

>Ms. Renault and Tolkien did have a dispute over the publication of her first novel, Purposes of Love. It was very racy for its time, and had hints of male and female homosexuality. Anyway, Ms. Renault wanted to use a male pseudonym, but Tolkien strongly objected, urging her to publish under her own name, or at least a female pseudonym. Indeed, she says that Tolkien strongly encouraged all the young aspiring female writers he came into contact with to reject the trend of the time for females to write under male pseudonyms and instead use their own names.

>[It bears repeating that the dispute between Tolkien and Renault had nothing to do with the content or subject matter of the book, which included homosexual themes, but rather, the dispute consisted of Tolkien urging Renault to publish the book under her own name, rather than a pseudonym.]

>As for Tolkien, from Letter 294:

>"There are exceptions. I have read all that E. R. Eddison wrote, in spite of his peculiarly bad nomenclature and personal philosophy. I was greatly taken by the book that was (I believe) the runner-up when The L. R. was given the Fantasy Award, 'Death of Grass'. I enjoy the S.F. of Isaac Azimov. Above these, I was recently deeply engaged in the books of Mary Renault; especially the two about Theseus, The King Must Die, and The Bull from the Sea. A few days ago I actually received a card of appreciation from her; perhaps the piece of ‘Fan-mail’ that gives me most pleasure."

>Note that like most of Renault’s novels, The King Must Die and The Bull From the Sea dealt sympathetically with male and female homosexual characters.

>Ms. Renault died in 1983, renowned as one of the 20th century's greatest authors of gay literature.

>No one cast for C.S. Lewis
Who's "Tollers" going to banter with?

Orcs dindu nuffin?

THIS

Movie is confirmed waste of potential already

>Luthien Tinuviel and Beren Erchamion

Tolkien was born in South Africa

>that hairy ape
>Luthien