“You fucking bitch! Bitch! Bitch!”
And that’s how you do it
“You fucking bitch! Bitch! Bitch!”
Alexander Rodriguez
Kevin Murphy
> remember the 6 million
what does she do then ?
Matthew Scott
Awwww he's cranky now. You must be hungry
James King
>Is that how you got your job as a weather girl?
It's over.
Aiden Scott
>turns around and pulls down his pants
>BBBBRRRRRAAAAPPPPPP
"Looks like I just stepped on a frog."
Jayden Morris
"... and then you wake up?"
Brody Adams
>Don't tell me you actually believe in that fairytale, Jonah
Jack Morris
>...,youre fat lol
-audience goes wild-
Carter Mitchell
>For your information, I wouldn't even WANT to fuck you. With Brad and Leo in the room, I'd be much happier jerking off in the corner while THEY fucked you instead
Boom, fucking roasted
Jayden Brown
>funny, i have the same fantasy except its you who leaves
*micdrop*
Elijah Ward
oh my god i think we did it fellas! i mean we've done it like 3 times before but this is the final nail in the coffin!
Nathan Clark
Daily reminder that he started it.
Brayden Gonzalez
>YOU FATFUCK SMDH LMAO, LMAO ROASTED ASF ... RIGHT GUYS? XD
Logan Torres
>I think you might be a little too old for Leo
Joshua James
Why did he change his name?
Levi Ramirez
take out the faggy micdrop shit and this is actually the best one i've seen
Lucas Morales
Yes Jonah I ashamedly admit in my journey to my position I had to make some difficult descisions that caused me to question my own morality, I felt so dirty and used. But I told myself it was all to have a better life for myself and my family, you see I grew up with nothing so I saw the opportunity to make something of myself and I worked hard for it doing whatever necessary and I am truly humbled and great full to be here today.
>Audience goes insane in a fit of cheers and applause for her bravery
>Jonah Hill is never offered a job in Hollywood again
Chase Edwards
What really happened to his brother?
Brandon Ross
Yeah we know how much you love stuffing your face with meat
Anthony Johnson
TIME...WE JUST NEED....MORE TIME
Easton Watson
NOOOOOOO
Henry Adams
FUCK THERE IS NO WAY TO WIN
Ayden Bailey
I give up bros
Juan Harris
Is this what Jonahposting has come to?
Cooper Thomas
oh yeah well I bet you voted for drumph
Eli Ross
please just let us rest, you heartless bitch
William Martinez
I always love the implication that this dumb roastie, who could barely even string together her initial attempt at a joke (which she probably rehearsed 100 times beforehand), could come up with any sort of retort beyond stammering and giggling or holding back tears if he insulted her.
Austin Lewis
FUCK
Elijah Torres
>Yeah I got my job by rejecting you and getting to have sex with Dicaprio and Pitt
kys virgin, it's a shit comeback and you know it
Austin Reed
And that's all it will be. A fantasy. You want to know why? Because you're nothing. Never have been, never will be. At this very moment, your life has peaked. It's all downhill from here. Yeah, I'm fat, I know. But I can improve. I can lose weight through hard work. What do you have? Your looks? You didn't earn that. Plus, you're losing them day after day. Eventually you'll be nothing. All you'll have left is the memory of the day "I sure showed Jonah Hill!" That's the extent of your life. You can't even predict the weather properly. I pity you.
Asher Bailey
Shut the fuck up and get back on the treadmill, Jonah
Leo Nelson
>Gotcha!
Charles Gomez
Actually saying that out loud would be a thousand times more embarrassing than what she said to him
David Wilson
so
Jack Green
I would unironically delete my post if I were you.
Levi Rodriguez
why?
Jaxson Sullivan
>I have more power and money than both of you combined. Sit down, be humble
Elijah Lopez
WE JUST NEED MORE TIME
THERES TOO MUCH PRESSURE. WE NEED MORE TIME OKAY
Christian Carter
IT'S OVER!
Jayden Rogers
The best part about this is that she didn’t meant to insult Jonah at all. Jonah’s type of comedy is self depreciation so that’s the person she sees him as so that’s why she made that joke, not to hurt his feelings but to see him laugh. She didn’t expect him to act like a man baby and leave France.
Ethan Hughes
She understood the depth of her mistake once he hired those four gunmen to kill hundreds of her countrymen.
Joseph Rivera
god fucking dammit
Christopher Gray
WE WUZ BURGER KING
Luke Cruz
Jonah was the one responsible for the refugee crisis.
Levi Howard
This desu
Gavin Jackson
FUUUUUUCCKKKK
Henry Mitchell
Jason Howard
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Grayson Phillips
whats going on here
>inb4 nervegas XDXDXD
Oliver Rogers
"Oh like right now?"
Stand up and leave.
Easy
Nicholas Smith
Going to take the Subway, Jonah?
Matthew Ross
Weak shit, see
Isaac Miller
>You're a nigger, you know that?
Lucas Peterson
Fuck off Ornella. we're going to get you one of these days and there's nothing you can do to stop it. just a little more time.
Thomas Turner
theres been heaps of these types of threads. whats the best we have come up with?
Chase Powell
see
Owen Barnes
>Oh really
*smiles insidiously*
>You would dare to insult the cosmos
*pulls ancient tome from within his jacket*
*room falls silent as he turns to a specific page*
>LET THE ELDRITCH POWERS COURSE!
*lights black out*
*audience begins screaming in panic*
>G'NATH ELDRATCHANAR F'THGYLL GRY'NDOT!
*ominous red light glows from the pages of the tome illuminating Jonah*
>OH GREAT ONE! I SUMMON YOU, A HASTUR CF'AYAK'VULGTMM, VULGT'LAGLN VULGTMM!
*audience begins rioting and destroying the studio*
>ARISE!
*studio roof rips off*
*a primordial, coruscating chaos descends upon France*
*audience have epileptic fits from the bright flashing clouds in the dark sky*
>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
*fleshy tendrils sprout from Jonah's back as his face begins to swell*
*the audience dissolves into a stew of screaming meat*
>I AM THE COSMOS!
*ascends to the eldritch plane*
*brings forth rivers of blood and oceans of sorrow*
>!DIK LENNOSREP GNIHTON
*sentences France to 10,000 generations of subjugation to the dark powers*
Jayden Johnson
"Im taking my footlong somewhere else"
Luke Green
>you're mom gay
Noah Sanders
>You should put it in the garbage and take the treadmill instead.
Jose Roberts
Aaron Wright
That was shit. You are done.
Oliver Smith
we're fucked mate. We got nothing
Jackson Thomas
>Jonah, I was told you were supposed to be Lovecraftian, not LoveKraft Mac & Cheese.
John Campbell
stop
Jaxon Sullivan
getting rusty, ornella
James Cox
she hit the wall
Oliver Hill
>I AM THE COSMOS!
Aw, Jonah... then maybe you should ease up on the subway?
Camden Anderson
>girl really likes you and the movies you make or your performances
>Figures you're all about comedy so you'll be down for some playful bants
>Makes a joke and you get severely anally ravaged about it to the point where you cancel future interviews
Dude belongs on r9k
Michael Bennett
cunt
Caleb Hughes
>I have a fantasy about you introducing me to Brad Pit and Leo Dicaprio, and then you go away
>*audience laughs*
>Is that how you got your job as a weather girl?
>*audience goes silent and looks confused*
Is this really what Americans consider a good comeback?
Jace Ortiz
That's one of the oldest ones in these threads.
Jose Morris
Yeah, fantasy. A girl like you has no chance with them, let alone with me.
Jonathan White
you cant win
you cant win against her
Dylan Stewart
>Of course that's a fantasy. In reality, you'd have to settle for me.
Joseph Torres
TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME
Leo Sanders
not bad at all Jonah
Jayden Hughes
This one isn't bad.
Brandon Perez
It's still more of an insult to Jonah though.
Isaac Perry
why don't you post Ugandan knuckles and harambe memes, faggot.
Jackson Harris
Jason Jones
he's self-deprecating the plane with no survivors
Nathaniel Gutierrez
you donut hole filthy lying patience has its limits
Jason Hall
I think we did it boys
We found the perfect comeback
Ryder Garcia
>haha that's what my ex said too
Kevin Anderson
>perfect
No, but we're getting closer. Just a LITTLE bit more time.
Levi Barnes
imagine being this weak
Luke Robinson
>the perfect comeback is Jonah shitting on himself
Jackson Bennett
wat
Isaiah Hall
thats the whole point of these threads, is the bantz on americantz
whats amazing about it is the mystique the french translation leaves on the disparaged jonah, it is like a foot long size hole in his stomach
Isaiah Hughes
He humbly defuses the situation
That hardly qualifies as "shitting on himself"
It's masterful. And him being an asshole to her will put him in the wrong. As a man he's expected to take most of the blow but play it off as if he didnt care and turn the situation to his liking which he did by making the hypothetical audience laugh with that comeback
Julian Fisher
It's certainly the best in the thread but we can steal bigger than that.
Colton Sanchez
>He humbly defuses the situation
no, he just add to it in her favor, he's literally just agreeing with her.
It's a cuck comeback
Leo Edwards
it is unwise, take the arning from the Icarus myth, dont get too close to the sun
Jack King
>it's a cuck commeback
you're the oversensitive reactive type arent you?
you need to learn to laugh at yourself
Owen Turner
You've spent too much time on Sup Forums. Self-deprecating humour is perfectly acceptable (especially for a fat guy) and not "cuck behaviour."
Henry Powell
I agree, but it's all we currently have. We need more time.
Jaxon Gray
It comes across differently "across the pond" even in England people would shit out an egg laughing before they'd get to the "you're joke" part, and crack the shell.
the best he couldve came up with is nah, I can take a hint or even better, I like you for your personality anyway. Just something of a jot, as that beats the wind out of the basking pip
Aiden Phillips
>A crazier fantasy is the one where your body weight settles.
Benjamin Thompson
He could just laugh at her joke and it would have the same effect.
It's not a comeback.