Why the fuck would they spoil all the students with luxary buffé everyday that kitchen slaves have made for them

Why the fuck would they spoil all the students with luxary buffé everyday that kitchen slaves have made for them

Attached: harry_potter_great_hall.jpg (900x450, 89K)

Attached: d75da744f39504eeec1b3a3bb7e1456a--good-recipes-amazing-recipes.jpg (560x720, 188K)

Attached: tumblr_n4ec2eb8wX1qdab59o5_250.gif (245x150, 653K)

dumbledore just magics it up you dumb fuck

bait

Its supposed to be similar to private schools in the UK. Behind the scenes the kids parents are paying thousands. Poor kids go to Pigshit Academy

Spoiling the students with delicious food is the only way to compensate for them featuring in the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Attached: 1475130597970.jpg (1620x2884, 2.16M)

good show.

aahh... there it is again. haha

>kitchen slaves
Didn't Dumbledore just conjure it out of thin air?
It's a wonder why or how there's poor people in such a universe.

"DEH!"

>work 90 hour weeks for 20 years in kitchens developing your skills as a chef
>painstakingly create every meal with finesse and expensive ingredients
>never mind, some old man with no experience or ingredients just popped an extravagant 15 course meal into existence
Being a chef in the Harry Potter universe is suffering.

Why the fuck not?

>shaping candy in vegetable form

Trying to misguide Americans here, huh?

Apparently you can't create stuff from nothing in potter-topia, what happens id that a small army of house-slaves cook the food and teleport it up to them.

why don't real british food look like this?

Virtually every job doesn't exist in Faggy Potter's universe. Remember how bemused Jim Sheridan is that someone could need a dentist when Hermione tells him about her parents?
The only fucking jobs are salesman, aura and teacher.
Garbage world building.

How does that even work? You just sit down and eat what ever happens to be in front of you? All these options but you never get to choose.

Because it's made by real Brits.

The elves premake it in the kitchen. Dumbldeore summons it onto their dishes

>that one kid surrounded by platters of veg

Fuck off Hermione, they love being slaves

Attached: soup.webm (1067x600, 2.86M)

pretty sure he teleported it

wow that is some great grog

"No!"

>luxary buffé

Im pretty sure hogwatch is free

Better question is: How are those kids not getting morbidly obese?

so dumbledore gets all the credit? what a cunt

Magic

People used to be responsible with their eating habits and fatties used to be shunned out of society

>Go to hogwatch
>They treated like royalty
>Graduate
>Go back to ugly muggle world with no food or magic knowing you will never come back to hogwatch
>kill self

House elves love to be slaved user, it's their raison d'être. Take that away and they will be depressed or kill themselves.

Have you never had carrot cake?

>get a degree in magic
>absolutely useless in the muggle world

Theyre all shown to have active lifestyles

Not bad this time

Just do magic and trick muggles into giving you a high paying job.

Is quidditch the most retarded fictional sport of all time?

What about fatty arbuckle? The truth is that it was just a lot harder to get fat back then

>Didn't Dumbledore just conjure it out of thin air?
you cant do that, but you can multiply existing food
yeah, dumb, i know

Does Dumbledore have dental or medical care?

Because magic can be used to easily create and prepare food.

The economy is the Harry Potter world makes no god damn sense and you know it. The level of magic thrown around would make it easy to do just about anything.

The problem is that magic users are completely screwed if they tried to live in a muggle world. Especially once you get past the 90's era Harry Potter is supposed to take place in. Technology is just way to prevalent and everywhere today.

What about lacrosse?

>lapskaus

Their only sport is on brooms as well and I don't see that as much physical exercise

If so remember to bring the second book when Harry and Ron get put in detention after the car shit, they are put in a tiny room with a little plate of sandwiches and everytime they took one another one would appear.

There are replicating spells too. Can't you just eat the same replicated food forever?

Guys guys guys, let's get the misinfo out of the way. The houselves prepare the food in the kitchen. Creating food out of thin air is impossible, but multiplication of existing food is fine. Along with other magic, creating a huge delicious feast 3 times a day probably isn't hard. The food is teleported from the kitchen to the tables once the food is ready.
It would seem perfectly reasonable that a sandwich/plate could be charmed to regenerate the sandwich every time it's eaten.

Bitch they could just fucking magic it from thin air

>Creating food out of thin air is impossible, but multiplication of existing food is fine
Wow, that's fucking retarded when you think about it.

But food is one of the 5 Principal Exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration

BASED

>Creating food out of thin air is impossible
>a sandwich/plate could be charmed to regenerate the sandwich every time it's eaten

>luxary buffé
The food is pretty standard boarding school tosh.

The the Thing is, Hogwarts is probably 20x more exclusive than Hogwarts. Nobody at the school was poor besides the weasleys. They were all rich. In fact, every non weasley poorfag they put in the school caused massive problems.

Do American magicians in the Harry Potter universe eat mountains of burgers and soda, have crushing debt, weekly shootings and constantly dying because they can't afford magic care?

Attached: 1498939264576.png (540x699, 33K)

Because it's multiplying the original sandwich. Maybe it's fucking stupid, but it's what JK gave us.

Underrated

This universe is so fucking stupid

Because the Harry Potter series is a shitty self-insert high-school battle harem.

Attached: 04 - Urban Legends.mkv_snapshot_02.57_[2017.11.22_21.37.50].jpg (1920x1080, 260K)

Attached: corb.jpg (600x552, 32K)

American wizards use pistols as their wands and rifles as their brooms.

Liked the earlier movies where the characters actually dressed like wizards.

Was it the third one where they just started wearing normal clothes?

>be American wizard
>get hexed
the really crazy part of the latest mass killing was that the school was an avada kedavra free zone. We need better wand control, ban the AW-15. It has no practical uses. You don't NEED a semi automatic wand.

>Was it the third one where they just started wearing normal clothes?
No, they've been wearing pants and sweaters in all the offtime moments of the first two movies.

Thanks for reminding me why I hate this fucking series.

I think the house elves cooked it up in some dungeon and it was actually just cloaked and Dumbledore merely revealed it.
I didn't read books though.

>have a single gold shekel
>use fucking magic to make a copy
>double each copy you make
>exponentially increase your wealth in 10 minutes
Why the fuck are the Weasleys so poor when you can do this?
Fuck doesn't have to be money, it can be anything that you can sell in a shop.

What is this hairstyle called?

Well, there's the ministry as an employer and some sort of craftsmanship obviously exists. Journalism too. And Ron's brothers... well, one of them did something with dragons the other one breaks curses, I forgot if they work for the ministry too. There are also businesses like restaurants and pubs, their own transportation network... Wizards are still a small, hermetic community, so that would probably cover quite a few of them.

how did they get away with this

Attached: 89fd108d9e3719e388da6c5d27007a6e.jpg (1600x1202, 150K)

Deh deh dehck deh deh deh deho deh deh dehest dehs deh dehe dehy deh dehie dehs. Deh deh dehing deh deh dehard deh deh dehs deh Dehwarts Dehdemy deh dehey deh dehed dehs deh deh indehable deh deh dehs. Deh deh deh dehy dehery, deh dehs’ deh dehency deh deh dehs deh deh dehment deh indehive deh deh dehial dehs, deh deh deh dehic undehical, deh deh dehtion deh indeh.

Dehs deh deh deh deh deh Dehling dehed deh deh deh Dehlberg dehing deh dehs; deh deh deh deh dehs deh deher deh dehen deh deh deh deh deh deh deht dehthing deh dehbody, deh dehusly dehable deh-dehtion deh deh dehs. Deh Dehry Dehher dehs deh deh anti-Dehtian (deh deh), deh deh’s dehly deh anti-Dehes Dehnd dehs deh dehs deh deh deh, dehty deh dehment. Deh deh dehs deh deh deh deh. Deh, dehfully, deh deh deher deh deh.

>d-deh dehst deh dehs deh deh dehough d-deh
"Deh!"
Deh dehing deh dehful; deh deh deh dehble. Deh deh deh, Deh dehed deh dehry deh deh deher deh deh deh deh, deh dehor deh dehtead deh deh deher "dehed deh dehs."

Deh deh dehing deh deh deh deh deh deh dehry deh deh deh deh dehed. Deh dehed deh deh Deh deh dehed deh deh dehal deh dehs. Deh deh dehlous. Dehling's deh dehs deh dehed deh dehes deh deh dehs deh deh deh deh deh deh deh dehing. Deh Deh deh deh dehish, dehing deh deh Dehry Dehher deh deh deh Dehphen Dehng. Deh deh dehthing deh deh dehect deh, "Deh dehse dehs deh dehing Dehry Dehher deh dehdeh deh dehdeh, deh deh deh deh deher deh deh deh deh deh deh Dehphen Dehng." Deh deh deh deh dehght. Deh deh deh dehing dehic. Deh deh deh "Dehry Dehher" deh deh, deh deh, dehed deh deh Dehphen Dehng.

Attached: deh!.jpg (1623x2886, 1.28M)

Easy. Hogwarts is considered prestigious and is heavily backed by the UK government. Just like in the real world, you get schools that are really decadent because of it.

The harsher truth is what happens to the kids once they graduate and go out into the real world. From what we saw, the adult wizard world in the universe was old and rundown, with only a few family having any real money.

The first movie came out in 2002. A time before PC culture started popping up everywhere.

Also, goblins being obsessed with money is a regular thing in fantasy/folklore/mythology.

good intro

>The the Thing is
Are you OK?

How come they weren't all fatties? As a kid I wouldn't be able to control myself if there was food like this all over the place.

terrible world building

I guess you are one of the "just copy your bitcoin wallet file" people

The best schools in England are all privately funded. State funded schools are garbage (partly because our government is garbage, and partly because the schools are filled with students who aren't actually English).

I'd imagine doing magic burns energy

there’s serial numbers on those coins. And I would guess the goblins have protections from duplication, after all, their magic is said to be more powerful than wizards.

Who handled shipping and receiving for all of this food that comes to Hogwarts? What was their distribution method?

>flying with recoil
Cool

Because humans cannot effectively convert food nutrition into mana so they have to eat a lot to gain a little

Attached: E89CDCCE-C608-45AE-8C4F-D226A5ED1B86.jpg (719x342, 85K)

The elves probably made it all from scratch. I don't think JK has explained where they get their ingredients but lots of fanfiction has them growing it themselves.

Dumbledore buys the food at the local Tesco every tuesday morning

>its a Harry forgets to pay the TV licence episode

Attached: britain police state.jpg (916x2608, 725K)

Attached: 12.jpg (400x489, 23K)

>It's a Hermione avoids acid attacks episode

Attached: UK_acid.png (673x925, 574K)

I remember watching a documentary of Eton school and a kid said they have lots of sports programs so they eat more than normal schools

Don't try to defend the logical inconsistencies within Harry potter, it makes me realise how awful it really is.

I'm not really defending them, just laying them out there.

they are boarding schools so they have to provide breakfast, lunch and dinner whereas most schools just do lunch or packed lunch. They wake the kids up at 7 though and do a fair amount of sports so it is definitely more active than most.

Imagine being a brit magician but you can't magic away the muslim raping your gf

>be American wizard
>no voldemort because guns > wands

Attached: voldemortvsguns.png (1353x655, 31K)

Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration is a law governing the magical world. There are five Principal Exceptions to Gamp's Law, one of which is food.

It should be noted that while food cannot be outright created from nothing, it can be multiplied if one already has some food to multiply, it can be enlarged or the food can be summoned if one knows the approximate location and is fairly sure the food will still be there. It should also be noted that while food cannot be conjured, consumable liquids such as sauces and potable water can be.

The series appears to break one of these laws early on. In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, McGonagall appears to conjure a platter of sandwiches and a jug of Pumpkin juice out of thin air when Harry and Ron arrive late; however, she may have simply apparated the food from the kitchen similar to the way the house-elves make the food magically appear for feasts.

fucking (((goblins))) control the banks