ITT We give legit advice for fellow Sup Forumss who might want to visit our country.
If you ever find yourself face to face with a snake you're usually told to not move. Most snakes will forget you're there after a few seconds and move on allowing you to back away slowly. However, if you come across one of these fuckers then you run immediately. Death Adders can keep tabs on you for 20+ minutes so you're better off booking it.
Most snakes don't "see" retard, they have heat sensors by their nose.
>the politics board
No one cares about your faggot ass snakes
Do not come here unless you bring a few thousand troops to make uruguay great again
I keep death adders, don't make them sound so nasty man, they're pretty placid snakes.
firstly, only pit vipers have those pits for that capacity, and all snakes still have a great sense of vision, I'm a herpetologist
well actually I should say most snakes, some have poor vision.
more like nerdtologist
around blacks never relax
wow canada, top tier bantz, how high are you?
Practice doing U- and K-turns in case your GPS leads you to Martin Luther King Ave. If there is heavy traffic present, honk and give the middle finger to signal this maneuver to fellow motorists.
-t. New Yorker
>and all snakes still have a great sense of vision, I'm a herpetologist
What is a Boa?
don't bother with the meme shit
i.e. piccadilly circus attractions and tourgroups to stonehenge and oxford
you speak english well enough to post on Sup Forums, meaning you can research what to see and navigate the country yourself
Don't buy anything from around the Airports/port or main tourists hubs (Acropolis and shit( They hike up the prices around 60% because all the tourists hang around there.
most boas see relatively well, however subterranean species do suffer from lackluster vision. I also added an addendum to the previous post explaining that it is simply MOST snakes that have good vision
If you see a suspicious man wearing multiple layers of clothing, he is most likely a terrorist.
>Implying anybody wants to come here.
I can mostly speak to Vienna. Austria is kinda big and has many different areas. Most of which are quite chill, however. But we get a lot of tourists, so...
We might be the only country in the world where the capital has more bigots than the average city.
If you are brown (even latino), expect to be looked at like a refugee. (Unless you are hot.)
If you are black, expect racists to actively seek you out in a bar. (Especially if you are being friendly with a woman.)
If you are a touristy white American (or a Brit who dresses like one) expect to be treated like a retard who lost his caretaker.
No matter who you are, if you visit a traditional coffee house (or restaurant), expect the waiters to be snobbish. We don't coddle.
Generally, it's best to expect people to be unfriendly. Not impolite. But unfriendly. (Unless we are talking 20-somethings.)
Don't fucking walk on the bike paths.
When using escalators, you stand on the right and walk on the left. It's not rocket science.
Nobody gives a flying shit about the Sound of Music, stop mentioning it.
Talking about Hitler is not original. (Talk about Strache instead.)
When asking for directions to a specific building, ask for the street name or what the building is. NOT HOW IT FUCKING LOOKS. Dear merciful Buddha, if one of you fucks asks me one more time about the "building with the golden ball"...
Austria has a lot of smokers and Vienna in particular. It's part of the culture. Stop complaining about it. I will take up smoking again, just to blow smoke into your eyes.
Don't ever go north of the Donau. There is nothing there for you.
In fact, stay in the single digit districts.
Enjoy your stay.
Should we step on snek?
If you have an accent, American girls will fall over each other trying to fuck you, even if you're ugly as shit. They are extremely vapid and facinated with novelty like that.
Just incase you're into sex tourism but not to pedophile sex islands.
please don't they're very good for your environment and keep worse buggers at bay
Dont come here, it's shit.
Pic related is an Indian (feather)
If confronted with one your best course of action is to ignore it entirely. If you are soft of heart you may be tempted to feed it or otherwise offer charity, but history has shown this has negative affects, as it causes dependency which leads to problems for both the Indian and the local human population.
Brits and Aussies, I know you guys love the word and I think it's hilarious but you can't call everyone cunt. The term doesn't have the same glib connotation over here as it does there and will more than likely result in a fight.
NEVER order sangria.
DON'T go to flamenco shows.
DON'T go to the running of the bulls, the tomatina, or any other artificial tourist-oriented "traditions".
DON'T eat paella outside Valencia.
DON'T go to Montserrat; it's overrated and anti-spiritual.
As a matter of fact, STAY AWAY from the Levant in general.
DO visit historic and non-degenerate sites such as the Escorial, Aranjuez royal palace, San Ildefonso royal palace, and the cathedrals and castles in Toledo, Segovia, Valladolid or Avila;
DO eat wild boar after visiting Franco's former residence at El Pardo -- it's the manly thing to do and a local specialty;
DO have some proper fish and seafood from the Atlantic in Galicia, not the tasteless Mediterranean crap they serve in the Levant;
DO enjoy the excellent museums in Madrid while ignoring the SJW-infested town center as much as possible.
Fuck off cunt. We're full.
If I ever come to Australia I will wear something like that on the pic
Don't worry mate. Only like 2 in 2000 snake bites end up being fatal. We got pretty damn good at treating bites. Unless you're in the back of Bourke alone, you'll be fine.
The fuck it doesn't you giant cunt.
Fuck off you cunt
Haha will be a good laugh when a Sydney funnel Web or mouse spider decides to crawl into one of the creases in the armour and crawls up your leg.
also the death adder has pretty mild venom. I've taken a nip or two.
That's not exclusive to Greece desu.
>I'm a herpetologist, btw
Tits or gtfo
I will wear hazmat suit over it then.
assuming in this case, that means you want a picture of my snakes? because that just means I'm a zoologist that specializes in reptiles
>Austria
>Big
WEw lad.
If you are in London, walk on the fucking left, particularly when navigating the Tube
Enjoy weraing that get up in 35-40 degree centigrade temperatures m8.
Don't focus on seeing Stockholm and don't bother with the nightlife, The clubs fucking suck hard, Moreso than in other countries - Unless you know somebody in Stockholm who can hook you up with nice underground clubs/raves, Those are hella fun.
Take a trip North and camp in the nature for a day or two, Thanks to our nature laws you are free to set up camp pretty much wherever you want to.
Also don't believe the memes. Unless you go to the suburbs yelling allah is a pig you will most likely not be bothered by nignogs or muslims.
Why am i even bothering with this? S'not like you guys ever leave the basement nor know have any contacts outside your family...
Snakes or GTFO
Kek
Lacking tourist to mob Achmed ?
How much school did you go to and how much do you make ?
Damn this post just reminded me there isn't any good bellota in the states
no prob, this is drogan, he was a yellow anaconda that I cared for, he was pretty feisty to say the least, I still have some teeth in my leg from him. one time he actually slithered into our ventilation and we had to go in after him
I never knew a 3 point turn had another name.
If you come to NC make sure to get some bbq pork and avoid blacks that aren't in suits or dressed like hipsters
8 years of college and on a good year a little over 200k
haha nice one my friend
How do Americans dress?
Its funny because you don't realize the irony.
Visit in wintertime. Take your SJW anti-fur anti-leather friend with you. See how fast will they run for a fur coat.
Kek
this is alexander, when he was a wee little baby, he was always really mild mannered, so I had great opportunities to get him tamed but at the point of this picture I still needed to band his mouth.
What is north of donau?
how long until hes full grown
This
Except go see Stonehenge
actually he already is, here's a current pic, he's friendly as a big territorial dog
what do you feed him and where do you keep him
This the same gator?
well I converted a relatively large room to his enclosure, and he feeds on frozen thawed rats, guinea pigs, and rabbits
not the same one, although I post him occasionally :)
It's so lame of a joke I laughed
nice to see you again btw
Around blacks never relax
reptiles are pretty coolio desu
Dont go to Londonistan. umm thats about it
being overrun by mud people. Women are libertards. Expensive as shit, huge financial bubble bound to pop soon. All the money is going to the richest to pay for their houses. so housing bubble wont collapse. Cold, people are usualy cold unless drunk or prettymuch bffs. dont bother can get a 3x longer vacay anywhere else
Simple: don't come here, I don't want any of my pol brothers getting robbed by a spic and if you are too curious or stupid to come just stay out of Veracruz and Guerrero
they sure are, I think the really fun thing though is that some of them can be pretty wild and dangerous
yea... nah cunt
Stereo-typical American tourist:
>baseball cap
>reflective sports sunglasses
>polo/bowling shirt
>fanny pack
>cargo/basketball shorts
>tennis socks
>sneakers or sandals
And they will actually go into restaurants like this or up scale cafes like this.
The most shocking thing to me is how many young people dress like this.
It's as if the only people who come here are from Ohio.
Just the more shitty districts. High foreigner percentage. Industrial districts. Little to nothing that would interest a tourist.
It isn't dangerous. Just ugly.
That sounds familiar
These cunts will actively chase you because they're super territorial. I've also had a run-in with a rattlesnake recently, but I'd rather see another one of them than a cottonmouth
Don't go to Oslo.
Stop thinking every state is Texas or New York
I get so sick of seeing idiots in cowboy hats and Yankee ballcaps
There used to be a reptile zoo not too far from my area that I visited a few times.
Mostly animals that had been bought as pets that the owners later realized they could not care for.
Mostly snakes & iguanas, biggest snake was 20 feet approx long. Pair of giant tortoises too, was pretty cool.
Sad that it shut down, wonder where all the animals go after a place like that closes.
Ah. Well I'm sorry alot of our tourists are tasteless faggots.
I had 2 cottonmouths living in some debris outside my house for a while
I've heard most bites are dry bites and don't inject any venom, imagine i'd be innawoods in somewhere and i happen to not see one of those camouflaged fuckers, and it bites me in the ankle out of reflex, what % of bites would be dry? And does it differ greatly per snake species?
Austrians are absolute cunts. No it isnt you. It's us, dont worry about it.
There are very few normal people here.
Avoid Brussels. It sucks. In fact avoid Belgium all together.
>fanny pack
>cargo shorts
Are you visited by time travelers? I havent seen either of those in 10 years
>We might be the only country in the world where the capital has more bigots than the average city.
lol. did one of the bigots ever hurt your precious little feelings?
Are you OK with arabs and africans coming to your city and changing your culture to suit theirs? Are you OK with Muslims and arabs becoming so numerous that they change the way your country is run? Or is that racist and bigoted?
Oh man cottonmouths are fun, agkistrodon in general are really interesting but cottonmouths hold a special place in my heart, they were the first venomous snakes I ever kept
well hopefully they went to enthusiasts or researchers like me who can care for them, yeah, some of these animals can reach incredible size, I'm looking for pics of my reticulated python who was just about 28 feet
DO NOT trust anyone who tries to sell shit to you or provide a service. always calculate the price well or you will get jew'd hard.
DO NOT voice your political opinions. especially if they are leftist or anti-zionist. Israelis will debate the shit out of you and basically lynch you on the spot.
DO NOT trust anyone whoc an't speak proper English. In most chances he's a subhuman Ars or a criminal.
Prepare to empty your wallet. Everyhting is expensive as fuck and overrated.
Unless visiting on November-March, bring short summer clothes. it can get above 40 degress celsius easily.
DO NOT be of the following:
Arab/muslim
black
people will trat you like shit and think your a refugee or a terrorist.
enjoy your stay goyim
Underrated
I'm brown but I have the accent. How will I go?
You don't have to buy a vignette as long as you're careful and stay off the highways but you'll be going very slowly on the small roads.
Copacabana and Ipanema are top notch sure, but I feel overrated.. went there two days ago and had beer cans and a condom slap on my skin whilst splashing around
The people here are alright, sociable really and I never had a problem talking with anyone although every country has its fair share of cunts
Natural beauty is common in my experience, just ruined sometimes by warzone looking hell holes dotted along the ways
Wew lad, calm down
The point is that most cities tend to vote left.
Vienna is an exception.
Every summer, user. Every summer.
Me too.
Then again it would obviously be more difficult to pick out the well dressed American.
But WHEN someone is tasteless, it's either an American or Chinese tourist.
that's not true, if you're bit seek medical attention, most bites will inject at least a tad of venom when it comes to these little lovelies, and it's just something you should get treated right away, however, I will stress this, it's very easy to just move out of the snake's way or reposition the snake
I am totally okay with it, countries arent static shitholes like yourself so change is not a bad thing. theres a diff between change in your mind and change in mine, u for one are retarded
bring a longsword
DO NOT go beyond Urals to the east. There's literally nothing for you unless you have some business/research there.
DO NOT stray from the main streets. You will find trouble.
DO NOT get lost. If you do, your best bet is to ask schoolkids/students for directions.
DO NOT let "cyka blyat" and other shitty "memes" leave your mouth. I will find you and slap your face (fairly hard, fucking beware).
DO NOT dress like a faggot and/or american.
DO NOT get too friendly with random people. Dont expect them to be friendly too.
DO visit cities of the golden ring and, maybe, Sochi.
DO... uh... well... theres, like... nothing else to do here.
Just buy a tour, leave your money and gtfo. Dont forget to tell your friends to come and leave their money too.
Dude at our Canadian malls there are some weird ISRAELIS like your self who try selling me 300 salt water creams, an they always asked me for discounts where i worked.
Kindergarten tier joke
You'll easily be able to put your shrimp in a barbie
I didn't think swords were legal in your country
Retard alert
this is legit fucking retarded advice, if I see a snake I just shoot it, naturally.
fuck you, do you know how hard retards like you make my job?
STAY AWAY FROM THE FOLLOWING AREAS!!!
>Bradford
>East London
>Croydon
>Burnley
>Buckinghamshire
These are usually 21+ age youngsters who were recently released from the military and are looking for a quick job to save for college. They are being exploited by crooked merchants to sell overpriced shit.