How can I create a cinema experience at home if I can't go to the real thing?

How can I create a cinema experience at home if I can't go to the real thing?

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Get a decent popcorn popper. None of that microwave shit.

No way that's a real page, tabloids walk the line between Safe For Work and vulgarity, they wouldn't have "SHITTING" displayed so prominent

That is an English tabloid.

that's how you know it's real journalism

And that's a good thing

>he doesn't know about Sunday Sport

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Do Americans really do this?

technically they're not shitting in it, they're actually placing shit in the machine, but it doesnt sound as good in a headline

this evokes theyre dropping their keks and climbing on the machine both and simultaeneously literally shitting into the active slush motors

The Sunday Sport is the strangest paper you're ever likely to read. Half made up stories, half porn, but zero sport. You only find it for sale in the shadiest of newsagents too.

>'Look out! She's got a shit!'

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>Scot
lee is northerner

>pound
>american

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>Scotland isn't in the North
You won't flummox me that easily, buddy.

whats wrong wtih americans?

>mum
>usa
Americans bastardised their spelling so they spell mum as mom.

God damn its tabloids like this that make me miss being a kid taking a shit and reading my dad's national enquirers, just going 'what the fuck?'

People actually read whilst they shit? I'm in and out in 3 minutes or less when I shit, no time to read.

>Look out! She's got a shit!

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That when I do most of my reading tbqh, I'll sometimes be in there for a hour or more reading shit like History of Middle Earth, or I just shitpost on Sup Forums

WHY THE FUCK CANT WE GET SUNDAY SPORTS IN THE US!?
its like they can write anything about anyone and not give a flying fuck I love this shite

I usually play a hand or two of solitaire on my phone when I shit.

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This one's actually real
youtu.be/ciPu4DnKBuM

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My shits take 45 mins minimum

>Not enjoying a nice read whilst shitting