ITT: Best quotes from Xavier Renegade Angel

>How do they expect to stay out of jail? That's where all my stuff is.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=2rwPPrxjqKY
youtu.be/Sn7QvnhJgeA
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

You can flush me fromst the twilight of your mind, because I'm pissed-ory

>You must blame yourselves for your son's death. I know I do.
My personal favorite

I'm a survivor, we're a dying breed

>My eye! My visual connection to this beautiful world has been severed!!

youtube.com/watch?v=2rwPPrxjqKY This whole scene is filled with so many great quotes

>What I'm saying' is that they should legalize glue, man! It's got other uses that aren't just mind expanding!

>"Flesh Colored"? How offensive!
>Oooh "Shiftless"! This ought to get you black on track.

>This whole land used to be as fertile as a NICARAGUAN slut.
>It's all dustcorn. Flaky as a FILIPINO tranny in a pyramid scheme.
>If we don't get rain soon, we might have to tighten our belts, tighter than a JEEEW

>Pain is just a myth created by poor people who don't want to work!

vow, locked, IN

underbrown maleroad

>condescension, the final refuge of the differently-abled, cripical

>If I ever catch your ugly mug in my line of sight I swear to CHEKHOV I'll cock your clock off.

>Wherever there is suffering, I was there
>Wherever there is injustice, I was there
>The greatest AIDS-spreader of all time.
>You were my first, not counting rape

>Are you so stupid you answer rhethorical questions?
>I dunno, do you?
I'm fucking dead

>(downs boy, to Xavier pretending to be Percy): Percy! I wanna be your girlfriend! I want you, Percy!
>several scenes later
>Xavier: I did it. You were a hit! Everyone loves you now. You even have a girlfriend.
>Percy: Really? Is he disabled?
This ep's my favorite, 100% great lines and gags. I also enjoy it for being the closest Xavier's ever been to genuinely benevolent.

>JEEEEEEE-HAAD!

>OOH
>nice AND legal

>Pfft. TV. The Devil's dreambox
>6 hours later
>Yeah. TV. Really.. rubs your nut

>I have some bad news and a snack for you

episode?

bloodcorn

>"You only have ONE peen-eye? LET ME SEE IT"

>see with your eyes, not with your mouth

my favorite scene in the entire series

youtu.be/Sn7QvnhJgeA

>"Look at you. You look so superficial, you probably judge things by their physical appearance."

that got me good. I need to watch this show now.

>i'm a feminist, I'll make sexism my bitch

>man - have you seen my wife?
>xavier- i have some bad news and a snack for you

I like the scene with the demons
>here dont spend it in one place

>He think science is evil, and the lord heals all!
>How does he explain the fact that his own son's legs make me want to puke all over them?
>Um, he never says that.

>I'd to see this guy pray an abortion

>what do I care?

>You some sort of, uga buga, chinaman?

>TAKE THAT!
>Taste the pain
>TAKE THAT!
>Taste the pain

screencap pls?

>May I squirrel it in your turrilet?

>What's the opposite of song?
>Useful

>Unload your troubles unto me, even if it's tough to swallow. I'm used to swallowing huge loads.

I'm in pain, you little turdlette

>Clutch the dark purple hairs of the galloping orangutan of normalacy, and RIDE NIGGA, RIDE!

>Eat that ketchup nice and good
What did he mean by this?

>I need some of that disease you guys invented
>... Crack?
>No, the other one.

Kids, I swear, I'm going to love all of you, and equally. I'll be dividing my love into seven equal sections, or love quadrants. Each quadrant will be worth fifteen love units, represented by these small brass marbles. You may use these marbles as currency amongst yourselves. Collect 35 love units and you can trade those in for a beach towel with my face on it.

>AIDS?
>That's the spice!

The entire sequence is hilarious, but the confused pause is the best part. Like he has to think about it.

>"It helps no one to be reductive"

>Laws? LAWS ARE ILLEGAL HERE!

That one redneck guy talking to the other about xavier
>"are you listening to what this weirdo is saying?"
>"wait which weirdo?"

This is why you have to have a very high IQ to understand Xavier. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Political History most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. If you didn't know about conspiracies about the US government creating AIDS and Crack (or the fact that the US funded Bin Laden and similar groups during the Soviet Afghan war) you wouldn't understand this joke

hey


cut that out

>That Fella's Nuttier than my pants at a COFFIN SALE

>I've never plopped my glopper
>I've been saving myself for marriage... or at least consent

Chompski Honk

I know I was moving MY HOTDOG in and out of PETERSON"S WIFE"S buns last night
>my wife is dead!
never said it was consensual
don't worry, I used CONDIMENTS
I enjoyed it with RELISH
her mouth past MUSTARD
I could hardly KETCHUP
to her vagina!

They say a dead child is like pudding, the proof is in the fact that he probably looked like pudding after he got hit by that car

I love the entire sequence on the motorcycle in that episode, especially the cloud who sucks on a smog pipe then breathes it out onto civilians to turn them black so cops start beating them.

/wooboy/

this [PAIN]ting

fri ta ta

thats good. let me write that down

>A dead child is like pudding. The proof is in the fact that he probably looked like pudding when he got hit by that car.

It's the opposite of global warming! IT'S MOONULAR FREEZING!

>I have some bad news and a snack for you.

>"Someone stole our bloodhounds, but we got the backup bloodhounds to chase the first tier of bloodhounds."

>You snoze, you loze
>Ya sleep, ya weep
>You take a nape-a, you get slapped-a
>You slumber, cucumber

>"It takes fewer muscles to say 'thank you' than it does to die."

...

>We don't cotton to strange chinamen with no sense of self who stand secretly by for indeterminate amounts of time
>you some kind of ooga booga chinamen?
Best episode/10

Crippical

>LET'S GET SOME BITCHES FOR THE FIRST BLACK MAN IN HEAVEN

>it's the 9/11 of noise

why is Xavier a anime girl

>Those dogs were decorated! Look at this place, what have you ever decorated?

>" I know I was moving my hot-dog in and out of Peterson's wife's buns last night."

>My wife's dead!

>"I never said it was consensual. Don't worry, I used condiments."

>"Forgive me Father as I make this poor soul TAKE THAT, sweet mother Mary, shut your virgin eyes as I make this poor soul TASTE THE PAIN"

"I´m willing to try any precipitation bogey you have"
>"HEEYA HU HEEYAH Huuuuu shucks, i forgot it, but we can jug my memory with the lacota memory jugging dance"
"Just show me how"
>"HAEYA HOO HAi can't remember the memory jugging dance, i know, the irony is rich, so all we have to do is the iracoy irony melting dance, and we'll be golden"
"Do you remember that one?"
>"Of course, this noodle is a steel cage, but only god can do that dance, and it has to be raining, that's the irony part"

>if this is your idea of a joke, I'd like to be subjected to a tragedy

>If you love soup so much, why don't you marry soup?
>Because I'm already married...to JUSTICE
>Yeah, only a blind girl would marry you

Man, I just get confused by this show.
Am I supposed to laugh because it's silly or because it's clever?

Both. It's just 10ish minutes of non-stop wordplay. The focus isn't on set-ups and punchlines, it's just writers fooling around with the English language.

>Am I supposed to laugh because it's silly or because it's clever?

The actual, stated in an interview goal of the show is to blend stupid and clever together until they're the same thing

It's silly sometimes and clever other times.

At its most deep 'you must be this intellectual to get the joke' level, it's a treatise on the narcissism of New Age spiritualism and how their compassion is nothing but an arrogant savior complex; but that's not actually the majority of the human. That's just Xavier's character. He's not just an idiot, he's a satire of every fake Buddhist and 'OH MAN THAT'S SO DEEP' druggie that ever lived.

More commonly the jokes are just rapid word play, or absurdist humor.

What I'm basically saying is that you don't have to be intelligent to enjoy Xavier Renegade Angel. The satire of 'Kung Fu' and New Age that forms the show's premise is irrelevant to laughing at something like Xavier looking up to see someone washing windows on a skyscraper, stupidly believe that the washer is trying to commit suicide, and then inadvertently planting the seed of motivation in the process of trying to 'help' that leads to the window washer jumping to his death. Anyone can understand that, even if they don't understand exactly why Xavier is so full of bullshit.

MAH EYE MAH VISUAL CONNECTION TO THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD HAS BEEN SEVERED

>There's more to life than life.

TASTE THE TOU TOU TOU TOU TOUPAIN