Ok, sharks. Let's hear your ideas

Ok, sharks. Let's hear your ideas.

Attached: tank.jpg (748x448, 84K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=XCuLN9yWMUo&feature=youtu.be
youtube.com/watch?v=WQ9AIqGyTgo
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>AUGCEMBER

This post makes no sense. The sharks are the investors.

I realized after I've posted.

>no Robert
This episode is off to a bad start.

>I'ts a single mom who over evaluated her business and is surprised no shark wants to invest episode.

I want numbers! Give me numbers!

here's a number, go fuck yourself buddy

>I know hard work, I'm a mom!!!!!!!!!!

*Dragons Den

Lori invests.

two words
>sex robots

a decentralized oracle network

Kevin: "I'm in."

Greetings sharks! I'm here today to present to you my latest invention: it's a child molesting robot.

Attached: the-rock-robot-snl.jpg (620x389, 22K)

>I'm asking for $500,000 for a 5% stake in my company
>what are your sales?
>$23,000 pver the past three years

Here's how this is going to go user. You will give me 30% of your company for zero zip nada. I'm going to drop by a few times a week to lick my feet and eat my ass, and you will do whatever I tell you. Now sign here.

Attached: 56e99afa52bcd044008b6c85-750-562.jpg (750x562, 52K)

In fifth grade I invented The Ultimate Headband. It's a normal headband that I cut skits in and put cool packs in that you can freeze, and also it had little Velcro spots down on it you could attach a hairnet to desu

Our businesss owns the trademark for the word "Blockchain" in USA and Canada. We sell licences for other companies who use it.

More like Barbara invests

Deal.

>tfw actually have an app idea, but it would be such a niche market, and I don't have the skills to make it, so it's not really worth the effort

>I use the term Blokchain and you can't do shit about it.

only with 33% stake in the company plus 5% perpetuity until the investment is paid off and then 3% for each unit sold thereafter

We also need money to sue

I developed a market place for people to commercialize used panties that uses blockchain so all transactions are completely safe.

Post it on Sup Forums

A silicone butt that farts on you

cool

>M8 WUT IF I BORROWED 10 MILLION FOR A SHIT SERIES WITH SHIT CGI WHERE UR MOM WUZ AN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH ? MENTAL INNIT ?

>I'm valuating my business at $10,000,000
>What's that figure based on?
>Well we haven't had any orders yet but I'm predicting 100% growth per year for the next 20 years
>What's it currently worth
>We're $500,000 in debt

I see you come prepared. I'm in.

Attached: kaihuHq[1].png (611x408, 527K)

>pitching a dog business
>robert isn't there

L
I
N
K

These silicon butts sound fun, but they're not really my field. Here's what I'm going to do: I'll give you 3 million dollars, you keep 100% equity, but you have to come to my birthday party this Sunday.

Attached: 552bd9256da8113334ba5f97-750-562[1].jpg (750x562, 51K)

Please buy into my ex-wife's pyramid scheme for 10k

youtube.com/watch?v=XCuLN9yWMUo&feature=youtu.be

Is this an american rip off of Dragons Den?

This show is peak late stage capitalism.

Can’t believe millions of people watch this garbage, watching their fellow proles grovel like idiots in front the bourg for some scraps. Disgusting.

Attached: 28BEDECC-F249-4490-8F12-9882F65DC8AB.png (720x1280, 705K)

I've never seen Shark Tank on the Bong version

I found it very silly and awkward

i wouldn't go that far m8. these people are bad businessmen who couldn't get their shit together enough to get a small business loan from a bank like every other entrepreneur. these people have worse business plans than the average pajeet or chang who opens up a liquor store or something.

This but unironically

pls gib moeny i make bizness buy high sell low

Holy kek

literally dying.

The ideas on this show are fucking retarded. Who finds these people?

So, get this. It's a service where you can hire a woman to accompany you around town, have dinner together, hell she'll even cuddle you as a you fall asleep! I'm calling it Together At Last. Just think about it, it'll be great for parties, work occasions, heck maybe just for some sad loser who wants to feel like somebody cares about him for once in his pitiful life.

I'm offering a 49% share for $500,000.

How the fuck do you guys watch this shit it's so god damn awkward

I don't believe this is real.

the best one

Attached: 1510165759348.jpg (1129x649, 221K)

it really is. that's what makes it funny. it's pretty much the most aborted ideas put on some stupid tv show for laughs.

>you're dead to me, whore
anyone else think Kevin is a little too aggressive

>Let me tell you a story. 43 years ago, you were brought into this world kicking, screaming and crying. After a time, this behavior transitioned to constant complaining, nagging and a general disrespectful attitude towards your parents. You father turned to alcoholism, of which he gradually died from, and your mother slowly lost her sanity, which eventually led to a self-inflicted bullet through the mouth as tears streamed down her face. And never once throughout your life have you ever expressed an inkling of regret.

>*Kevin slowly shakes his head in disgust*

>And for that reason, I'm out.

Attached: K.jpg (879x659, 61K)

There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion. Every year afer the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters. On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki. Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and uttrly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes. At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn. Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles. Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio. Right now, YOU are that piece of flesh.

This is the best pasta, after the imagine being Arnold one.

Holy shit

Attached: 1521872160553.png (400x400, 294K)

>it's a hardworking people are forced to put on a song and dance number for a bunch of pedantic twats who never actually worked a day in their life simply because they fell headfirst into money in a career where everyone essentially just rides a giant roulette wheel and the only success stories are the ones who just happened to bet on black, but they're business geniuses so keep entertaining us, little fish
>episode

But how can he do it each year if every year they genocide the natives.

Welcome newfriend, I suppose you missed that short but vibrant 3-month streak where Kevinposting was all the rage.

130 IQ libcuck detected

Only a handful get killed by the fish, and only a handful end up on the lawn

I remember seeing one of like, I think it was the canadian or british version, where they had an indian shark, and the guy pitching was trying to sell some kind of really idiotic horoscope scam, like really basic bitch readers digest shit, but the poo was going crazy over it and kept saying THIS IS MY PEOPLES CULTURE

oh man that just gave me a great idea for a halloween costume
typical ugly old witch's mask, but with a blue sidecut wig on top and face piercings, and a liberal university sweater

He's the worst one, literally a fucking white knight. Everytime based cubes makes a joke, robert's always there to try to save the day, it's pretty fucking annoying

>Everytime someone's passing something out, robert gets one for laurie too because he's such a '''gentleman'''

He also has the lowest net worth on the show by far. Based Cubes and Mr. Wonderful make the show. Both are billionaires as well.

underrated

It says the rest of the natives make it to his lawn in makeshift canoes but that typically there's only a handful remaining at that point, either from the crocs or likely drowning I guess (makeshift canoe. makeshift), and then he lets the crocs eat the rest

mark and kevin originally made their money by cashing out just before the dotcom bubble popped, they both made a lot from shitty companies that went bust

kevin isn't a billionaire, yet
barbara has a lower net worth than robert

He's still 10x more interesting than that rat faced real estate investor

BAHAHAH WHEN HE LITERALLY MIMICS A PYRAMID WITH HIS HANDS

Thread failed in the original post.

>"Based Cubes"
ahaha that fucking sports loser who got ruined by Trump? lmfao

>cubes
didn't he sperg out when someone called him that

post best boy

Attached: rob dance.gif (500x282, 1.46M)

Attached: rob.jpg (640x640, 70K)

No one is forcing them to do anything. They come onto the show because they can't get a loan likely because their businesses are shit.

Apparently some companies just go on the show as a publicity stunt. They don't even need the money but just wanna brag about their numbers and show off their products.

uhhh, can I hear what the other sharks have to say?

steal carmen sandiego's identity and make a few games about it

This is know a Kevin posting thread.

I'm out.

Attached: city-am_abc.jpg (949x533, 99K)

>take first offer
>"YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO WHAT THE OTHER SHARKS HAD TO SAY! THAT'S SO RUDE! I'M OUT!"
>ask to hear other offers
>"I JUST PUT AN OFFER ON THE TABLE AND YOU WANT MORE? YOU'RE A GREEDY LITTLE CUNT. I'M OUT!"

Hi mark just wanted to tell you about our company, based in TEXAS. We build all our products in DALLAS TEXAS and we think this product would be perfect for THE MAVERICKS

Attached: Body-Jac[1].jpg (620x310, 31K)

Grindr but for fighting

Based Kevin knows a scam when he sees one

>You're right to be nervous, you know
>This is going to end very badly for you

Attached: scoobs.jpg (181x182, 9K)

what started it
youtube.com/watch?v=WQ9AIqGyTgo

i got an idea. switch the roles of the show and have the sharks bring in failed or successful products. if they sign a failed product they lose. if they sign a successful product they win

its just a gameshow and the sharks are just apart of it for cameo payments.

this show is disgusting late Capitalist blither. Not to mention all of the products all absolutely worthless, contribute to environmental pollution etc etc. But yeah, producing 100 million units of plastic bullshit is like, good for the economy bro lolol

The latter rarely happens unless a very generous deal was offered.

Samefag, fuck off back to /leftypol/, or reddit.

That would be pretty dumb because just going on the show, you now have to give a cut of all revenue to the network for “exposure”

I wanna splooge violently inside laurie consecutive times in multiple holes.
I wanna make a contract with her that whenever she changes clothes and hairstyle she is forced by law to make me ejaculate inside her vagoo.

The sharks aren't obliged to invest in your company and they can simply walk out after having agreed in front of the cameras

The chad dragons vs the virgin sharks

Does the first actually happen?

The canadian version is way more comfy, everyone is super polite.

indeed

do you think they should have a binding contract based on a one hour pitch?

No, I don't. That's what I'm saying. They can use it just to market their companies without much effort. How many people watch the show? How many google the companies' name ?

oh, misread that
supposedly shark tank doesn't take a cut, it did originally but cuban said that it was preventing good pitches

Never in that way. They get pissy with each other for trying to rush a deal, not with the guests.