Tomorrow is Halloween so it's time for a Chick Tract thread

Tomorrow is Halloween so it's time for a Chick Tract thread.

RIP Jack Chick (1924-2016)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/v6-V7DaM604
fmh-child.org/4Brothers/4Brothers.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Still can't believe the old man finally kicked the bucket, thought he was contractually immortal or something
youtu.be/v6-V7DaM604

There's like so little we know about Chick's life that part of me wants to imagine him has the original Kelly.

The DnD one and the rock music one are personal favorites

Nothing can stop Ozzy and Lemmy from getting married.

What's strange is that he could actually draw, and the reason he became a batshit insane person was because of his crazy Evangelical wife. Do you all think, perhaps in another timeline, he found work as an actual comic artist if he never met his wife, and if so, how good would his comics be, which ones?

>RIP
Rest in pain.

>I'll give you a wedding present, SOME AIDS
Does the devil just have aids around somewhere, so he can dish it on whoever, or is he infected?

>Protestants

I remember a story time where some murderer goes to heaven while the sheriff that hangs him goes to hell.

Big mistake, should have given them /all/ the Aids.

Why?

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RIP in peace. Hope he enjoys YHWH sucking his meme magic out like that bug from Starship Troopers for the next three years, then reincarnating with no idea what the fuck just happened.

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Thanks for the storytime, Chick taught me everything there is to know to presenting arguments on Sup Forums

Is it weird that I don’t hate his art. Too much shading, but pretty decent cartoonist with some okay character design.

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Because I'm an edgy fuck. Though Chick was a piece of shit, there's "My religion means I can't associate with people and condemn things" and then there's "I blatantly lie and use my religion to fearmonger". If christianity is real, Chick is roasting in hell.

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This post caught me off guard and got a chuckle outta me.
Good show.

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Catholics BTFO!

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>Then I'll give you a little wedding present... some AIDS

Holy shit, this is hilarious. Only thing that would make it better would be if there was another panel of him sneakily getting a jar labelled AIDS out of a cupboard.

Pssh, every good Christian knows AIDS is a high level spell to be cast, you can't just get that shit out of a jar.

Doom Town will forever be one of my favs because it actually had some pretty damn good art and one of my favorite depictions of homosexuals in comics.

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how the fuck do people believe this shit and not immediately realize their holy book is the most immoral thing in existence?

because muh god

I want to pay Kelly to add a crying lady liberty and snarky corner comment to every panel of every Chick tract
>Hearing AIDS

When I first saw this storytimed here, the user said 'this one will have you worshipping Satan purely out of spite'

As they say, a helpful Christian is a bad Christian.

>It doesn't matter what you do as long as you live me and I love you and we're happy together forever
>But if you reject me...
>I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER
Is there a bigger yandere than Jack Chick's Jesus?

Jack Chick's brand of Christianity isn't strictly identifiable with any known denomination. You can't blame his crazy on the bible. You can, however, blame other people's crazy on him.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he believe that he was on some sort of Jesuit death list and every Catholic on earth was offered money for his murder or something?

>than Jacks Jesus christ

No that's pretty much Jesus across all denominations

What you have to understand about the mentality is that Sin is considered a binary state. It's either Y or N. And due to original sin, the state is always Y. Even without it, human nature is such that we'll flick the switch to Y at some point. Once this is done there's no going back, you've curdled the milk, you broke your hollendaise.

THERE IS NO FIX BUT GOD. Nothing you do matters, and belief that you are somehow a good or better person than others is seen as the height of arrogance (and yet still somehow not avoided by most Christians I know)

As a result, severity is irrelevant. Again, binary. And because it's binary, no matter what, God will forgive you if you go through the holy process of trouble shooting. 1. Acknowledge you are a sinner, 2. Acknowledge Jesus Christ as son of God and sacrificial savior of mankind, 3. Ask God to forgive you and enter your life.

Some denominations or sects add different shit like Baptism, but these three things are the minimum.

t. raised Protestant

That's pretty much YHVH as he was written in the Bible.
You're not allowed any god but me is in the ten commandments.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. Going out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and he said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.’ So they went off. And he went out again around noon, and around three o’clock, and did likewise. Going out about five o’clock, he found others standing around, and said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’ They answered, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard.’ When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.’ When those who had started about five o’clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage. And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day’s burden and the heat.’ He said to one of them in reply, ‘My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?’ Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Something like that yes. He also thinks Catholicism is polytheism and all catholics are going to hell.

I remember seeing a stack of chick comics in my local movie theaters bathroom when i was around 15. I put them under the sink and threw them away, and when i did some black lady gave me a dirty look. This bitch literally snuck into the mens restroom to put some fear mongering propaganda in it. I will never inderstand christians

According to this guy, Chick is in hell for believing in "once saved always saved."

fmh-child.org/4Brothers/4Brothers.html

This is the stuff he was doing before becoming a fundie.

You are and that guy is full of shit. God doesn't break promises, that's kind of important. Theologically, anyone who becomes a Christian enters covenant. You might be able to argue someone never *really* accepted God but once you enter that kind of abstraction, there's no way to know anything. Funny enough, when I was a kid, this is what terrified me about my religion when I had to take the confession of faith. I was afraid I wouldn't really mean it somehow - like, I was thirteen, I couldn't even conceive of forever or the rest of my life - and I had this irrational fear that if I had any doubts, even subconsciously, I would be struck down or cursed.

Thats even funnier considering i remember a chick comic saying there were no cavemen

That's thanks to Chick's longtime artist Fred Clark. Chick could only ever do cartoony stuff. After his stroke (on his drawing hand), he recovered but his writing was less apocalyptic. The sheriff comic above was post-stroke.

thats actually pretty good. Goddamnit, we got robbed of a decent farside style artist

yeah, that's exactly my problem. the bible is advocating being a drunken murderous asshole, as long as you do it in the name of JESUS.

yes i can, the bible says shit like
even without chick.

plus, it's not like there's a right way to interpret the thing when it's all wrong anyways.

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>Religious fights
>On my Sup Forums
No that's not what we came here to do
We came here to laugh at Jack T. Chick because what the fug Jack, c'mon

Here's a little number called "Unloved". I think you guys might like it.

He actually made this comic before B.C. started.

>Do whatever you want until your deathbed
>See the light in your existential terror, and truly accept jesus
>Lol ur in heaven now
Since god is bitchmode and can't even effect iron (Moses story) why don't the deinzens of heaven just revolt?

Sorry, these are gonna be a little small

Does that mean if you're saved you can sin all you want and still go to heaven? What if you commit "the unforgivable sin" (blasphemy against the Holy Spirit)?

>God doesn't break promises

He does though. He said that after the first set of Ten Commandments were broken he'd make another set with the same commandments. But, instead he wrote this.


I. Thou shalt worship no other god.

II. Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.

III. The feast of unleavened bread thou shalt keep.

IV. Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest.

V. Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest,
and the feast of ingathering at the year’s end.

VI. Thrice in the year shall all your men children appear before the Lord God.

VII. Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven.

VIII. Neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left unto the morning.

IX. The first of the firstfruits of thy land thou shalt bring unto the house of the LORD thy God.

X. Thou shalt not seethe a kid [ie, a young goat] in his mother’s milk.

Rape again doesn't make the list.

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I should warn you guys, this one's gonna get a little bit heavy. Grab a tissue or something.

> Funny enough, I had this irrational fear that if I had any doubts, even subconsciously, I would be struck down or cursed.

and that's how christianity keeps billions in bondage, forever terrified of breaking or even understanding the chains that bind them.

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Nothing really wrong with that though. It's just saying that you can be redeemed at any point in your life, and that it's never too late. If anything, it's a positive message.

What's up for debate is whether just saying "I accept Jesus" is good enough. Of course it isn't fucking good enough, that's batshit. You have to actually BE a good person. That's what accepting Jesus is. Whether you're a good person for 70 years or the last 12 seconds of your life doesn't matter, the point is you learned what's good and right and accepted it.

Jesus said he is the path and the light. You still have to walk the damn path, you can't just glance over at it every now and again.

You know what I dislike the most about this comic? He always calls his dad papa. Like, I know people who call their dad pops, but papa is just too much for me.

>No that's not what we came here to do
>We came here to laugh at Jack T. Chick because what the fug Jack, c'mon

You'd think that. Atheists and Christians alike could come together to make fun of this guy because even by Christian standards, this guy is nut.

Yes, I'm aware
I, too, am Christian and enjoy laughing at Jack T. Chick
but that's not important right now

but you can walk it for a picosecond you filthy fucking apologist.

go suck hitler's cock in heaven while i hang out with einstein in hell you little bitch faggot.

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Remember the Xavier Renegade Angel villain becoming a Christian before he died? That was a good episode.

>Since god is bitchmode and can't even effect iron (Moses story)

I made a joke about Iron Man being able to defeat God and I had someone reply with a Jesus face palm and another saying he could argue against my joke, but couldn't be bothered to at the time.

>Athiests come in and laugh, say "Oh isn't that just fucking retarded"
>Christfags come in and go "W-We're not all like that!" and start debate
literally every chick thread

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That's the point. If you're a good person, you're a good person. The past shouldn't matter. There is no cosmic revenge for things you've done if you've already acknowledged in your heart that they were wrong.

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>You have to actually BE a good person. That's what accepting Jesus is

exactly. rape and murder all you want. as long as you accept christ.

this world will always be hell as long as fucks like you let crusaders run rampant.

So only stubborn dicks and athiests are in hell? Jesus christ

Jeez, you'd think his parents woulda heard of Timothy 5:8

Well, while being massive shits, his parents saw it coming.

you're right. there is no no cosmic revenge because death is permanent and your book is nothing more than BS wish fulfillment.

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Cmon bois, let's all just have a larf at old Jack Chick. No need for a big religious debate

>and now he's got cancer

What the fuck?

this
Also, here's where it gets religious in case you were wondering where all the Jesus was

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We are in full flashback mode, guys

It sounds to me like you believe in revenge, user.

>this had better be good or i'm going to jump

FUCK