>Three brooms written off, five thestrals put down, two in intensive care, a troll let loose in Hogsmeade, four supposed death eaters in my cells, a Gringots vault busted and so many goblins on my ass that I’m thinking of changing my name to Bilbo fucking Baggins. You got anything to add to this report, Potter?
>You read it all, Professor
>Thought not. Well I have no choice. You’re promoted!
Three brooms written off, five thestrals put down, two in intensive care, a troll let loose in Hogsmeade...
Kayden Foster
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twitter.com
Jack Wilson
>twn be a buddy cop film set in the hp universe
Ryan Perry
Why did they put as many cop movie tropes into harry potter? I guess the confusion was meant to distract from its status as one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowlings mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read Harry Potter you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Luke Carter
>two in intensive care
Christian Howard
___ _______ _________ __ ___ _______ __ _____ __________. _________ ____ _______ _________ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ____ ____ ________ _______ __ ____ _____ ________ ________ ___ ____ _________________ ____ ___ ______. _____ ____ ___ ______ _______, ___ ______’ ____ ___________ ___ ____ ___ ____ __ __________ ___ ___________ ___ __ _______ _______, ___ __ ____ _____ _________, __ ____ ______ ____ _____.
_______ ___ ___ ___ ____ ____ _______ ______ ___ ____ __ _________ _________ ___ ______; ___ ____ ____ ___ ______ _____ _____ __ ________ ___ _ ____ __ ___ ____ _____ ________ __ _______, ____ ____________ __________ _____-_________ ___ ___ _____. ___ _____ ______ ______ _____ __ ____-_________ (__ ___), ___ __’_ _________ ___ ____-_____ ____ ______ __ ___ _______ __ ______, ______ ___ __________. __ ___ _____ __ ____ ____ ____. ___, __________, ____ __ ______ ____ __.
>_-__ _____ ___ _____ ____ ____ ______
"__!"
___ _______ __ ________; ___ ____ ___ ________. __ _ ____, _ _______ ____ _____ ____ _ _________ ____ ___ _ ____, ___ ______ _____ _______ ____ ___ _________ "_________ ___ ____."
_ _____ _______ __ ___ ____ __ __ ________ _____ ____ ____ ______ ___ ________. _ _______ ____ _____ _ ___ ______ ___ ________ _______ _____ _____. _ ___ ___________. _______'_ ____ __ __ ________ __ _______ ___ ____ _________ ____ ___ ___ __ _____ _____ __ _______. _____ _ ____ _ ______, ______ ______ __ _____ ______ __ ___ ____ _______ ____. __ _____ _________ __ ___ ______ __, "__ _____ ____ ___ _______ _____ ______ __ __ __ __, ____ ____ ____ ___ _____ ____ ____ __ __ __ ____ _______ ____." ___ __ ___ _____ _____. __ ___ ___ _____ ______. ____ ___ ____ "_____ ______" ___ ___, __ ____, _______ __ ____ _______ ____.
Isaac Russell
You never know user, now they've revealed they set up this brand anything is possible. They wouldn't set this up with a logo and everything if they weren't planning on milking that universe dry long after Fantastic Beasts ends.
I'd settle for a buddy auror film. Or one about young Voldemort, or the adventures of Charlie Weasley: Dragon Tamer. There's tons of stuff I'd want to watch
Brandon Thompson
>Dammit Potter! In this department we do things by the book!
>Which book is that sir?
>ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAHAAAAAAGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGRRRRRRRRGGGGGAA
Charles Garcia
What's the point of a screaming book?
Jackson Walker
Based
Not Based
Angel Hill
It was in the forbidden section of the library. Probably wasn’t just the one book, all of those books were probably charmed to scream at intruders, like an alarm to alert Filch.
Easton Cruz
D
Brayden Reed
E
Jace Rogers
You have to kiss him to make him stop.
Jack Jackson
H
Christian Brown
how has no one made an
>DEH
>SPA
>CI
>TO
edit yet
Ian Martinez
Some protective measure I assume. You probably need to cast a specific spell on it if you actually wanna read it.
Josiah Johnson
THEY CALL ME DEH DEH PETE
I'M THE KING OF THE DEH DEH BEAT
Christopher Young
Whats the original pic from?
Liam Allen
harry potter
Aiden Ramirez
the book gives blowjobs but as it men started to prefer it over women, the SJWs decided to ban and move it to the restricted section.
Evan Edwards
>2018
>user's never heard of an audiobook
Austin Nguyen
Be the change you want see in the world.
Jacob Richardson
Why are you threads such garbage?
Ryder Evans
Fuck your mother.
Ayden Nguyen
>someone found a post I made worthy of starting a thread over
Austin Baker
I love these, always make me laugh
Kevin Martin
underrated post
Matthew Walker
based tumblrina
Jacob Robinson
>the adventures of Charlie Weasley: Dragon Tamer.
kek that sounds terrible
seriously though a quidditch movie about the world cup would be cool
Brody James
>Damned United style wizard film when
Aiden Ramirez
Somebody post the transparent DEH face. I need it for Shaneposting.
Wyatt Turner
A coming-of-age sports film in the HP world actually has potential. Main character is a rookie who just got signed to his first small-time Quidditch team, and the story follows their unexpected rise to international fame.
Logan Hughes
"Deh!"
Elijah Cook
>"You know Harry, with great magical might comes great responsibility. Salazar Slytherin called it "A Wizard's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: The responsibility of the master to discipline the servant."
>Voldemort looks directly into the camera
>"The muggles, the squibs, the mudbloods... It's our responsibility to rule them. And if we cant? Then they shall dangle from the whomping eillow. THe age of th eMagic is near, Harry. We'll have every muggle in the country dead or in Azkawitz in 10 years, and my God have me Avada Kedavra'd by my own wand this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the UK Independence Party."
Luis Powell
what the fuck were they thinking?
Christopher Lewis
What did you not like about him?
Adam Baker
DAMNIT, POTTER!
ONE SUSPECT! THAT'S ALL I ASKED FOR!
INSTEAD YOU GIVE ME A STREET FULL OF CORPSES, ENOUGH RUBBLE TO BUILD AN EXTRA WING AT HOGWARTS, AND SO MANY VEGETABLES I SENT POMFREY HOME AND BROUGHT SPROUT IN
Brody Gray
nice
Thomas Brown
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
yep, that's me. you're probably wondering how i got into this situation
Brayden Morales
Based mod that left up hardcore child porn a few times so he wouldn't have to delete threads he liked babysitting more tumblr spam
Luis Ward
Oh god yes
Joshua Moore
Kek
Brody Nguyen
Reminder that this and the deh spam is done by tumblr cancer that thinks 100% authentic posts like are memes and not the truth agreed by those who understand art and literature
Brandon Perez
SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE
Jack Peterson
>to international fame.
Oh boy to be the adored idol a few thousand people.
Henry Adams
Krum did pretty well out of it
Asher Bell
>,AND SO MANY VEGETABLES I SENT POMFREY HOME AND BROUGHT SPROUT IN
Ok I laughed
Oliver Carter
so tell me... how much does it cost to buy a headmaster these days?
Jaxson Sanchez
Look, im just sayin what we're all thinkin, muggles; they're lazy, smelly, dumb criminals. Its not their fault, its just genetics and we need a solution, a final solution to the muggle problem.
Thomas Wilson
That's 10 years in Azkaban punk
Carter Foster
twitter.com
they're redditors
Landon Gomez
Redmayne's mannerisms
Brody Sanders
Zeig heil leviosa
Chase Perez
The mask
Carter Edwards
Why isn't there a spell to make you taller? I'm sure Harry and Seamus would love that.
Elijah Miller
Gas the muggles! Race war now!