YES YES YES YES YES YES

YES YES YES YES YES YES

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Let me guess, they're gonna give him an afro chick sidekick and he's going to rescue at least one gay prostitute/stripper.

>It will come out in 2038
LMAO

LMFAO!!

youtube.com/watch?v=CezOHqlXAFY
Someone mix this with the cena theme

Would mark out

nice!

>tfw John St.John is old and fat
>tfw John Cena is retarded and can't voice Duke
This is the future we chose

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>old man has aged because he was born years ago
What!? No way!

The Miz as Booster Gold when?

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would Arnold have been perfect for this role in his early years?

I don't see this being very good. If they keep it true to Duke then the feminists will be outraged so they'll probably tone down objectification of women (which was supposed to be for comedic effect) to appease the SJWs.

Yeah

it wont be good. it wont be edgy enough. peak duke nukem is a misogynist xenophobe racist asshole etc etc.

and before you criticize my concern for a lack of edginess, be aware that thats pretty much the only "personality" duke nukem has ever had.. hes hardcore & edgy

I can't see this being good because the most iconic thing about Duke is his voice

Oh no way it would be good but if you just dress john up and die his hair he'd be a real duke

that style can be imitated. i can even see john cena somewhat successfully imitating it

what i dont see is a sexist character who says edgy things starring in a major hollywood picture

>YES, HOLLYWOOD IS MAKING A DUKE NUKEM FILM IN THE ERA OF TRUMP, AND YES YOU SHOULD BOYCOTT IT

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Big match John is about to draw dimes and make Dwayne look like the pathetic jobber he is. Can't wait to see the rock marks seethe.

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>(which was supposed to be for comedic effect)

Not in Duke3D, there he was just a macho guy who didn't give a fuck.
It wasn't until the shitstain that was Duke4 that Duke became a joke.

They should go back to classic Duke Nukem where he had a pink muscle shirt and orange skin

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If they got him a speech coach to lose his fucking accent, sure.

>Trumpian
>Trumpesque
>à la Trump

Crazy I know.

fucking kek

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Seems like poor timing. How will they make Duke politically correct?

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>shake it baby
>transgender stripper jiggles
>pan down to her panties
>noticeable bulge shakes
Duke responds
>oh yeah
>cut to next scene of Duke in bed with transgender stripper
>Duke takes out cigar puts it in his mouth, suddenly Duke's cigar seems oddly phallic given the context
>transgender hooker lights the cigar
>'Hail to the King Baby'
>Fade to black
Duke Nukem gets heralded as a progressive LGBT+ film

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Serious question: what studio is producing this? the tone will entirely depend on who is producing.

WAIT A MINUTE

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um sweetie, isn't duke nukem problematic?

Michael Bay will be behind this so same studios as TMNT and Transformers I think

Jon St was always a fat fuck, it’s his voice that’s badass

this is the one time i think michael bay is a perfect fit for a movie

Cenaetty has been doing a lot of shit movies now ever since Nikki Bella is using all of his money and he got sued by Ford.

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glorifying strippers might still get them heat maybe make them prostitutes and have a message about the struggles they face

He pretty much already played him

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The character was based on Arnold. One of the old sidescroller games even has him saying "I'm back."

He also says "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum" and "hail to the kick baby" and has that mouth thing Stallone has.
He a parody of action stars in general.

literally Chad.

>Let me guess, they're gonna give him an afro chick sidekick and he's going to rescue at least one gay prostitute/stripper.
He's a good shabbos goy.

He also married a mexican.

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There will be a scene where the transgender stripper talks about her past a prostitute and the struggles she faced.

this isn't a wrestling promo you fanboy. this is the real world. go back to your "wwe universe" or whatever its called these days.

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shake it baby

You mean he cheated on his wife several times during their marriage. Once he got famous, he then threatened to kick her out of the house even though she was a loyal QT, and supported him through his early years. Divorce was messy, and WWE had to hide it under the rug.

this to be quite honest

>married a mexican
>le creatura
>el goblinos
>el jewos

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>Duke BLEACH'ing some chick and saving a lesbian prostitute/stripper
mate that just sounds like DUKE

>cheated on his wife several times during their marriage

Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect amrite?

Will we ever get a movie about this madman?

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Film the movie with Cena as DOUK
Then get JSJ to voiceover

Problem solved

if I were cena I'd be banging half the locker room too. not his fault hes on the road so much. the wife should be more understanding

God if they put a tranny in this they better chose a good looking one.

>locker full full of pretty white women
>pick the mexican

deadpool tier faux edginess

We will undoubtedly get things like this unless they warp Douk to be unrecognizable

In the eyes of video game """"""""journalists"""""""" there were two things wrong with Duke Nukem Forever:
1) The loading times were atrocious (fair)
2) Duke was too misogynistic and the game objectified women (hilarious, especially the idea that Duke is a misogynist)

And if anything, the culture has only gotten worse since then

Cena lost all my respect when he cheated on his wife but every week was screaming about "HUSTLE LOYALTY AND RESPECT!!!111 Cenation!!". Dude is a huge hypocrite. At least the Rock is loyal to his wife.

>yes I needed to turn to prostitution because I'm a single mom of 4 kids who all have different fathers because men are all scum #killallmen
>yeah baby, I love killing men
>OHHH DUUUKE don't call me "baby" you misogynist shitlord

Cena can't really act. The only thing he can do is corny snarky humor. Pretty much Duke Numem. He's like the poor man's Duane Johnson.

>At least the Rock is loyal to his wife.
he's gay though, it's a shame marriage

even kevin nash spilt the beans

50%+ of wrestlers are gay or bi

>YES YES YES YES YES YES
Soyboy Sup Forumsedditor

I HAVE A WIFE

I HAVE A WIFE

nice projection soycuck lmao

interesting. you gave me a little hope. not much but a little. The distributors will push hard for pg13 though. we shall see sometime around 2039 I guess.

True, but that's only because 60%+ of bodybuilders are gay or bi

Calling it now he’s gonna have a “badass” female sidekick and the whole movie will show how duke nukem type character are out dated

>Duke movie
>In this day and age

Yeah, not gonna fucking happen.

It's going to be watered down crap. Also, how do you even make a Duke movie? It's like making a movie off of a walking and talking pop culture reference from the 80s.

Might as well make a Demolition Man sequel.

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>t. retard whose knows jack shit about Duke

>being happy some homo baby will play Duke

don't worry user duke nukem belongs to a company who values diversity and womens rights if the studio tries to do a sexist depiction of duke they will cancel the movie

based.

seething.

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>John Soyna
>Manly enough to play DUEK
Pick one.

Man. It is gonna take FOREVER.

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Soy doesn't actually have an effect on masculinity.

FINALLY THANK YOU ANTI SJW JESUS

That was what was right.

I want this duke movie to be the sort of movie for the Trump era a movie that will make anita's rotten womb from the cysts she has burst and she dies of infection .

Fuck no. They should keep it as it should be R rated. Titties everywhere duke being a womanizing sob. Or set it in the 90s or late 80s to make it acceptable for all the erection inducing action inadequate women hate.

Ouch!

and liked opera

>making a movie about a video game known for referencing 80s/90s pop culture
>something which shit like Stranger Things and Ready Player One is doing, the latter being near universally despised
>making a movie about a video game, a medium that takes loads of inspiration from movies, basically making a knockoff of a knockoff
>a movie about an action hero parody in the era of trump
nothing about this seems good.

>Good Duke Nukem film in the SJW era

Not happening.

If you somehow could have melded Arnold and Kurt Russell and melded prime Paul Verhoeven and John Carpenter, you'd get the film you need.

it was edgy at the time kid

I think he means that the movie would have to be like deadpool

Duke's more modern than that. Michael Bay would be truer to the games.

All the best action movies come out under republican presidents. What are you talking about?

>2) Duke was too misogynistic and the game objectified women (hilarious, especially the idea that Duke is a misogynist)
What's more hilarious is that the final game's script was handled by two women, iirc.

la abominacion!

why does it seem like a lot of misogynistic humor was created by women.

how do you not get Clint Basinger to play him?

and don't do anything to make him look more like duke

I don't see it.

no peggy. no deal.

>Nicki Bella
HA! thats still a thing.
>sued by Ford
how the fuck you manage that

haha

Post things they won't show in the movie

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