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Eragon hate thread

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I’ve seen so much about this movie over the last week that I’m going to rewatch it. Congrats user. Hopefully Sienna Guillory is sexy in it because I remember it being quite boring.

It annoyed me.
My mother liked it. She also said the first season of Mad Men was too repetitive and boring.
What does she know.

>Saphira is described as having beautiful scales all over her body
>I know, let's give her fucking feathers and base her flying patterns on eagles!

>movie was fucking terrible
>despite this they still had actual four legged dragons in it
Well, Peter? Wyvern apologists? What's your excuse now?

Books were GOAT. That's an indisputable fact

Agreed.
>tfw I was reading Eragon while everyone else was reading "NO!"
>tfw they got to look forward to actual movies and I was stuck with this shit

>tfw read both
>tfw both movie series are shit

nope

>dat scene when eragon and big bro roran wrestle and hug and kiss

I LOVE YOU ED SPELEERS

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t. pleb

>plagiarism
>GOAT

sure thing m8

it's good that you're honest

Good artists borrow, great artists steal.

You would be laughed off of /lit/ in a heartbeat. Stay on Sup Forums user.

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Hey, where's that sequel?

fuck /lit/ cunt i understand neitszche better than anyone there could ever hope to and eragon books were the goat

"No!"
They were derivative, boring, cliché and dull.

>/lit/

Unironically one of the worst boards on Sup Forums, full of pretentious assholes. They'd revere Harry Potter if it were 50 years old and wasn't widely read but critically well received.

>great artists steal.
From multiple sources to change up their material and attempt to create different, new, interesting, better executed or just plain fun.

this.

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wrong but checked

rofl mao two threads at the same time what are the odds of that lol!

it's literally just the word "dragon" but they advanced the first letter one place from a "d" to an "e"

Foreshadowing

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Nah not really, Deltora Quest is the superior fantasy bookino

Nah.

It's pretty cool that the author was like 17 or so when he started writing the books, but they're not particularly good.

>Deltora Quest
My nigga

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The story itself wasn’t anything special but Eragon and Saphira were good partners and their interaction made it worth reading.

Not wrong at all you i/lit/terate fuck

>Have an elf whose age is a big part of her character
>Only make her 103 years old
Pretty shit desu.

How? How can anyone think this? It spends 80% of its dialogue on pointless and extremely boring exposition.

>Oldest living elf is the blacksmith who acted the least evlish out of all of them.
That was actually an okay twist.

>feathers
Kill yourself.

Saphiras voice got me rock hard and i wasnt even into fur shit before that

Definitely comfykino

says this while on the capeshit&shitposting board

>the first real book i've ever read was GOAT, you guise

I was okay with the first one, but my FUCKING LORD it was painful to get through the rest. That "romance" between the MC and that elf was so bad I actually had to stop reading for awhile because it was too much for my young self to handle.

I liked it when I was 14 but I've been afraid to go back ever since. I assume it's a painful read given that a 17 year old wrote it. I'd rather keep the good memories

DUDE

DID YOU KNOW

THAT ERAGON

IS JUST DRAGON, BUT REPLACING D WITH THE NEXT LETTER OF THE ALPHABET?

checked

Lit is slowly becoming the next Sup Forums anyway. It's 1/3 shitposting 1/3 pseud-posting 1/3 pol posting

I remember the books being terrible and not watching it

based aus/lit/

it's really fucking bad
even as an 11 year old I could see how fucking derivative and bland Eldest was, once I hit 13 I reread the first one and fucking hated it

That's kinda the point, though. He's woefully inexperienced, fucks up, and doesn't get the girl.

Fuck I didn't even realize that

>at least the books were good

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As someone who was a hobbyist """writer""" around that same age I can say that his young age is the reason why this shit sucked so much. Sure it made for good hype and effective advertising, but it's a big fucking red flag about the actual quality of a book when the author is a teenager. He did all of the same mistakes I later noticed in my own short stories and plans for a bigger series that I thankfully never started actually working on. Everything is just renamed and slightly tweaked from the series he was influenced by, because when a teenager starts writing a fantasy book it's almost always just
>wow! I really like this series, I should write my own!
The idea of having written a famous fantasy series is the main goal, not actually telling a story, that's why there IS NO story, it's all just slightly edited cut and paste from the series that gave him the idea.

My fucking nigga

>know the source material is shit
>decide to see it in theaters for laughs
>the very first lines of the film said by the elf girl are just HORRIBLE.
youtu.be/KHBneyrf9-c?t=72
>wind up walking out of the theater during the climax because it was just boring
>years later, someone on Sup Forums is streaming it
>watch it to the end
>end credits start rolling
>suddenly: this song
youtu.be/5NPBIwQyPWE?t=33
>literally burst out laughing because they ended a fantasy '''''epic''''' with an Avril Levigne song

she was right about mad men

the first book rightly gets that on for being unoriginal, but the other books are extremely underappreciated, just like the star wars prequels are, and just like kylo Ren in the disneywars.
there is the cringy but accurate teenage infatuation with the hot elf, the hypocritical vegetarianism and self-righteousness of the elves, and lots of fun playing with the tropes.
it doesn't take itslef that seriously. it's just fun.

I read them right after finishing the lotr books. Holy shit were they badly written by comparison. I saw the movie in the theater on day one too and it was so fucking bad.

deltora, Garth nix, and Edge Chronicles were the shit

Correct, based opinion.

I was gonna read them in English for the first time - having only read them in Norwegian previously - right after finishing Dance with Dragons. I stopped a few pages in. This might be one of few occasions where the translation is better than the original.

*Ardwen - Arwen
*Isenstar - Isengard
*Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
*Angrenost - Angrenost
*Morgothal - Morgoth
*Elessari - Elessar
*Furnost - Fornost
*Hadarac - Harad
*Melian - Melian
*Vanilor - Valinor
*Eridor - Eriador
*Imiladris - Imladris
*Undin - Fundin/Udun
*Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
*Ceranthor - Caranthir
*Isidar - Isiludir
*Oromis- Orome
*Eragon- Aragorn

Oh and by the way Tortellini wasn't 15 when he started writing his "book", he was 18. He finished it at 19. He "imagined" the story at 15.

>tortellini
kek

Let's read an excerpt, shall we?
>The branch Roran had added to the fire burst asunder with a muted pop as the coals underneath heated the gnarled length of wood to the point where a small cache of water or sap that had somehow evaded the rays of the sun for untold decades exploded into steam.

Have you ever read such suffocatingly thick purple prose in your entire life? By Tortellini's own estimation however he is a literary genius on par with Tolkien "at his best" (because regular Tolkien isn't good enough) and Seamus Heaney, a Nobel laureate in literature.

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>That quote
Is it porn?

Superior children's book series.

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I've never met another person that's actually heard of, yet alone likes this series. Excellent taste my man.

You mustn't be australian because no one here hasn't heard of it.

>be 9
>read eragon
>become fantasy nerd
>really good at reading, first thing i'm good at
>be 10
>break neck in diving accident
>in pic related for a fucking year
>in massive pain
>unable to shower or bathe for a year
>if I trip and fall i'll die
>birthday
>parents take me to see eragon movie knowing how much I love the book
>it starts my life long depressive cycle.

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is it worth watching for Sienna Guillory

This could honestly make for a great tv show if you centred it on Bartimaeus and the fucked up world rather than the kid.

>that bookbinding family who finally got revenge against a wizard

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Tfw Hollywood finally discovers your country and comes to shoot big film here and It ends up complete shit.

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are you okay now?

mfw i had to look up what purple prose meant

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Question Sup Forums: does what I've written here describe Star Wars, or the Eragon books? Take a look:

In the prologue a princess who is a leader of a rebellion against an evil empire is being pursued by the evil emperor's right hand man because she has in her possession an item of great importance which was stolen from the empire. Just before she's captured she desperately sends off the item of great importance to a random location where it's found by a farm boy with a mysterious past. The empire's goons track the item to the farm boy. They kill his relatives and torch the farm but the boy escapes with a mysterious old guy who used to belong to an order of knights with mystical powers. The old guy gives the boy a sword and teaches him the way of the mystical knights then dies at some point while protecting him. Also the boy rescues the princess from the prologue with the help of a dashing rogue and together they travel to the rebellion's main base which is under attack by the empire and at the last minute the boy saves the day with the timely help of a friend after which he goes off to find another member of the order of mystical knights to continue his training. Soon after starting however he leaves to fight against the right hand man of the evil emperor. During their showdown the right hand man of the evil emperor reveals that he and the protagonist are related, much to the hero's shock.

this isn't good, but purple prose, pornographic, orgiastic or surreal, transcendent revelatory writing isn't inherently bad.
I really admire nietzche and D.A.F. Sade prose style, while Hemingway for instance is just suffocatingly dull.

Yeah I lucked the fuck out. I totally crushed my C4 and C5 vertebrae and a smart doctor talked my parents out of emergency surgery because a spinal fusion would have stunted my growth. Turns out I am not 6'4 and if I had opted for the surgery that would have fixed me next day vs the Halo for a year I would have been fucked up for life.

As bad as the Eragon books were, at least they didn't have magic torture BDSM ladies wearing fetish gear enslaving the hero before they fall in love, or a scene describing how the hero's brother hires a prostitute and kills her mid-blowjob, with the prostitutes thought of "I guess he wants to touch me while I do it" being the last thing written before she's killed. The amount of scenes where Terry was obviously jerking off while writing is disgusting.

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i always thought it was taken from lotr Aragon

Probably a mix of both

genuinely a garbage series, movie was just weird and not at all good

it's like a fictionpress story that got published

Oh and to continue my rant, did you all know that there are actual furries in Tortellini's story? One of the characters is an elf who has magically changed his body so he has a wolf's head and is covered with blue fur. He was exudes a musk that makes women horny which is why they're uncomfortable around him. I swear I am not making any of that up.

>I’ve seen so much about this movie over the last week
where?

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It is. Let me post this list again:
*Ardwen - Arwen
*Isenstar - Isengard
*Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
*Angrenost - Angrenost
*Morgothal - Morgoth
*Elessari - Elessar
*Furnost - Fornost
*Hadarac - Harad
*Melian - Melian
*Vanilor - Valinor
*Eridor - Eriador
*Imiladris - Imladris
*Undin - Fundin/Udun
*Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
*Ceranthor - Caranthir
*Isidar - Isiludir
*Oromis- Orome
*Eragon- Aragorn

>Eragon
High tier opener despite it just being Star Wars with dragons
>Eldest
About 150 pages of unnecessary subplots but good-to-decent otherwise
>Brisingr
Useless filler, I don't remember a single thing that happened other than he killed the Ra'Zac or whatever
>Inheritance
God awful, possibly the most predictable ending of a series ever written. The prophecy in book 1 literally laid out every single major plot point in this book and there were no twists. You can guess every major event in this book if you've read the first 2 books - there's no point in reading this one.

How about, Ghost Mutt?

No they weren't you little shit, they were just Lotr + Star Wars + DUDE DRAGONS LMAO

I never read the second two. In all honesty I just wanted to know if Eragon ever got a sick new dragon sword after big bro took daddy's.

>edgy wolfman who exudes pheromones that makes women horny
Are you telling me Tortellini invented Daken?

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>Deltora Quest
fuck yes cunt, these were GOAT-tier

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Kino taste. I know I have the books at my parent's house somewhere, kind of tempted to dig them up now. You can probably read all 8 in a weekend

Deltora quest always felt heavily derivative of Zelda, specifically Ocarina of Time.

If I recall Emily Rhodda even said that she drew inspiration from the video games her son played, though she didn't name which ones.

but it was still pretty comfy. never read the follow up though

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It wouldn't surprise me if she took from Zelda, apparently the Japs loved Deltora Quest. They even made an anime of it.

I liked her other series Rowan of Rin too. Emily Rodda was good at doing comfy kids books.

>The Belgariad and the Malloreon will never be adapted
I just want to see Garion go nuclear in Ashaba

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>Critics Consensus: Written by a teenager (and it shows), Eragon presents nothing new to the "hero's journey" story archetype. In movie terms, this movie looks and sounds like Lord of the Rings and plays out like a bad Star Wars rip-off. The movie spins the tale of a peasant boy who is suddenly entrusted with a dragon and must, with the help of a mentor, train, grow strong, and defeat an evil emperor. The way the critics picture it, the makers of Eragon should soon be expecting an annoyed phone call from George Lucas

This

Classic hero's journey. It's not like the central plot of Star Wars was original either.

"No!"

He did, and it's one of the best parts of the books. He had to make a pact with an ancient tree to get the last spacerock available so he could forge the last ever Rider sword. The blacksmith is the best character in the elven lands.

This bring me memories when I was a dumb 10 year old kid ...also I had a crush with eragon lmao