Does Hogwarts have any sex education at all...

Does Hogwarts have any sex education at all? It seems like a place like Hogwarts full of teenagers with access to mind controlling spells, memory erasing spells, love potions, secret chambers etcetera... Won't STD's and pregnacies be a huge problem in there?

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I forgot to mention the polyjuice potion. This place seems like a breeding ground for endless rape and assault.

Has anyone ever analyzed Rowlings psyche in concern of the way she wrote these things? The Harry Potter wizarding world is a tyrannical and uncaring dystopia masquerading as a fairy tale world, but clearly she herself didn't see it that way. Is it because of her social background she doesn't care about such things? Is wildly irresponsible parenting and schooling and totalitarian government normal for lower class britbongs?

Tbf that at least was extremely difficult to make. I have no doubt that sexual harassment through magic was omnipresent, though. We see Harry's dad basically assault Snape with magic and no one seems to give a shit.

Would make for an interesting dystopian film if they focused more on the rest of the world instead of the silly school desu

.you will never breed Devil's Snare for tentacle rape sex instead of murder and unleash it on all the first year students

"Deh!"

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Not necessary when you can just zap the baby away

someone please post the pepe version of OP's pic

fetus deletus

Everyone at Howwarts is basically a moron who can throw spells and make potentially deadly potions

>Implying lads don't have running bets to see how far they can push knocked up classmates down the Grand Staircase

>fetus deletus

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it's not rape if she doesn't remember it.

OSHA would have a field day with those stairs

boy i'd love to read harry potter written by someone who would actually go into how the imperius curse would actually be used for rape and suicide bombings and all the other shit that JK couldn't do because she was too busy writing about harry's feelings

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Imagine how many little boys Dumbledore lured into his private office, raped, and then memory charmed.

Lockhart almost certainly raped every woman he encountered and then erased the memores.

tfw polyjuice potion was x-change

>you will never be Hermione getting tag teamed by a quidditch team

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Well someone's late

magical abortions, anti-VD potions

it's why witches are dying out will muggles breed like rats

Seriously. There's only ONE reason I'm lurking this thread.

welcome to the wonderful world of Harry Potter fanfiction

>you and your best friend are fucking lame but smart
>brew polyjuice potion
>swipe locks of hair from every thottie in the school
>fugg each other
>can't get pregnant lol ill be a dude in an hour
>announce to everyone you've fugged X Y and Z girls
>OI N-NO U DIDUN
>X has a birthmark on her inner thigh, etc.
>high fives an sheeit
>X commits suicide by Devils Tentacles
>5000 points to gryffindor
>Auror doorkickers take you to Azkawitz because that whore Moaning Myrtle wouldn't shut up about your lab in the lavatory

The polyjuice potion is meant to be prohibitively difficult to brew and, having accomplished it, excruciating to drink it and to transform.
You're all just a bunch of fucking retards honestly who want to fantasize about violent sexuality within the context of a magical children's universe.
Get a hobby and win yourself some genuine human affection you absolute losers.

Lel

no pasta yet?

I only enter these threads for the opening line

Did you seriously expect some sort of sexual tension in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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Poor performance indeed

What we really need is a live-action parody of the dullest franchise on adult swim or some shit.
The best part would be rowling flipping her shit on twitter

Sole reason I enter these threads.

Don't know if this image is real but

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Isn't what they're doing now making Harry Potter spinoffs barely connected to the actual characters from Harry Potter?

Apparently they don't even have toilets. They get rid of shit using magic.

It's fake, but I'm certain she had something like this in mind when she came up with hufflepuff.
Seriously, did she just want a house where she can throw all the losers into?
Because I'd avadeh kedavra myself the first day if I got sorted in there

That's because all Slytherins are evil be default and you're allowed to hate and hurt them, according to JK.

Lovely story.

Fuck off tumblr

Slughorn keeps a selection of liquor and wine to give to 16 year old students late at night and it's treated as totally normal

boy I bet some crazy fanfics have been written about polyjuice potion... I mean you even need to steal some essence...

"NO NO NO NO NO"

how fucked are the hogwards kids if a potion recipe asks for a quarter teaspoon of spidereyes?
they don't know math

>be tv
>hate harry potter
>franchise has been dead for a long time
>threads still survive for hours
Really andels my fmonds

Guys it's a children's book. I don't know what you want. This is literally where lotr tax memes come from

And what, you do better shooting down obvious satire greentext through sheer autism?
>th-that would never happen you're all losers!

Better question - how is potions still a thing in a world where PETA exists.

>hufflepuff dining tables are a bunch of singles because everyone sits alone at lunch

>how is steak still a thing in a world where peta exists

Muggles couldn't singlehandedly-destroy the Wizarding world in a week TOP KEK MAGICAL PIG SHIT!!! Oh believe you me, us Muggles are ITCHING for a war with wizards. We will fucking ANNIHILATE your dirty country. There wouldn't be a square meter of Magical soil that has dull franchises, plot holes, or plot devices that isn't on fire, once our airforce and navy is done bombarding your defenseless country. Then, our army boys (we'd send the niggers and other mongrel races first) would swoop in, raping your women, and killing EVERY magical pig shit they see. When we are done with you, we will have committed acts of genocide. Of course no one is gonna do shit about it

Two words: fetus deletus

>totalitarian government
How so?

Based

>I-I'm just pretending to be retarded!
>satire is a word I do not understand
>Y-you're AUTISTIC

baka

Dumbledore's in the new one and the British Wizarding World does still exist, but it looks that way. There isn't any source material though so it's hard to say in advance of is release.

>Azkawitz
I prefer Auschkaban

HPMOR is up your alley. The writing is pretty fucking pretentious, but it's at least clever and thinks through the implications of the wizarding world.

Just play Akabur's Witch Trainer

t./aco/

>Ron shuffled his feet uncomfortably as he stared at them, hands tangled in a worried knot
>"What the fuck you doin' Weasley?! You better not be looking away from them!",yelled Malfoy as he stroked his rock hard member as it protruded proudly from his wizarding robes.
>Ron glanced up sheepishly to see Harry vigorously pounding Hermione from behind on the Gryffindor commons table.
>Harry looked over his shoulder at his friend with a slight grin on his face.
>"C'mon Ron", Harry grunted in between his rapid thrusts, "no need to be coy. Take it all in."
>As he plowed deeper and deeper into Hermione's beet red pussy he looked over at Dumbledore, himself deeply entranced in the act taking place before him.
>"I much prefer this Chamber of Secrets to the other, professor!" Harry exclaimed.
>"FOCUS BOY!" Hissed Professor Snape, rubbing the tip of his precum glazed penis with his thumb.
>"You're just like your father. He could never take a proper inter-house fuck train seriously either."
>The look on Dumbledore's face lightened somewhat as Harry's thrusts became quicker.
>"You getting your vinegars, young mister Potter?" Dumbledore asked in his usual, calm tone
>Harry didn't have time to respond before he began to ejaculate wildly deep inside of Hermione's slick cunt.
>Falling over her back, he licked the sweat from her skin and gazed up at the clock.
>"Twenty-one minutes... looks like a new house record." Harry muttered out in gasping breaths.
>Snape's dick began to go limp.
>Dumbledore, slapping Harry on the back, exclaimed, "50 points for Gryffindor."
>Ronald looked back down at his feet, tears welling in his eyes.
>Malfoy looked over at Dumbledore and yelled, "He cheated! There must have been a spell or some such!"
>Tucking his willy back into his robe he stormed passed Snape and over to the common room door.
>"My father will hear of this!", Malfoy whispered as he stormed out of the room.

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>Isn’t it weird that JK Rowling didn’t think of the social & political underpinnings of the world she created?

If she wasn’t a hack cranking out masturbatory drivel for teenagers, sure

11 year olds have no problem with it apparently

this desu
Although I still feel dirty from playing that game

We can't have BB guns of course it's normal.

There's a nice mod by a guy named Mo I think.
Can't believe I spent three days wanking while I should have been outside or in lectures...
Best three days of my life

what's the mod about?
I haven't wanked it to shit like this in a long time but I feel like I should return

I'd love to read harry potter written by someone who knew how to write

avada boga

If you can modify your bone structure (in addition to fixing teeth as shown by Hermione having hers reduced in Goblet of Fire), why didn't all witches/wizards look like perfect physical specimens? If you're ugly you can just be handsome/pretty with a few spells

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That's how Harry got his scar

>pregnacies
Nuh, "Fetus Abortio!"

>getting mad at some slag for writing kid's books

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What bothered me is that apparently they don't have birth control in the WW. No potions? No contraception charms?

i read somebody summarize those books once by saying you'll never find another series of ostensible children's literature that has that many bureaucratic committee meetings.

Everything seems to wear off

#
The polyjuice potion is meant to be prohibitively difficult to brew and, having accomplished it, excruciating to drink it and to transform.

Those 11 year old kids took it on the chin pretty well. I think I could handle it.

>You're all just a bunch of fucking retards honestly who want to fantasize about violent sexuality within the context of a magical children's universe.
Get a hobby and win yourself some genuine human affection you absolute losers.

Don't tell me how to have fun.

I miss fanfiction user

Ministry of magic monitors literally every young wizard 247 if they use any spells outside of school for one

its callled "Fetus ABORTUS"
and ironically enough the wand movements for this spell is just stroking it 20 minutes.

I'm sure they're around but given the books are young adult fiction she probably didn't feel the need to have them go beyond making out

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So the Weasley's chose to have 7 kids? They chose to have more kids after Fred and George?

A hobby like lording one's morality over anonymous strangers on an underwater colonoscopy forum?

>did she just want a house where she can throw all the losers into?
Yes, that's how simplistic her writing is. A house for the good guys, the bad guys, the smart people, and the normies. The series is supposed to teach kids how racism is bad yet the house system and the sorting hat feel like magical eugenics

It is written by a woman, their despise for betas is difficult to comprehend.

1.28 MB JPG
Dehest dehs deh dehe dehy deh dehie dehs. Deh deh dehing deh deh dehard deh deh dehs deh Dehwarts Dehdemy deh dehey deh dehed dehs deh deh indehable deh deh dehs. Deh deh deh dehy dehery, deh dehs’ deh dehency deh deh dehs deh deh dehment deh indehive deh deh dehial dehs, deh deh deh dehic undehical, deh deh dehtion deh indeh.

Dehs deh deh deh deh deh Dehling dehed deh deh deh Dehlberg dehing deh dehs; deh deh deh deh dehs deh deher deh dehen deh deh deh deh deh deh deht dehthing deh dehbody?deh dehusly dehable deh-dehtion deh deh dehs. Deh Dehry Dehher dehs deh deh anti-Dehtian (deh deh), deh deh’s dehly deh anti-Dehes Dehnd dehs deh dehs deh deh deh, dehty deh dehment. Deh deh dehs deh deh deh deh. Deh, dehfully, deh deh deher deh deh.

>d-deh dehst deh dehs deh deh dehough d-deh
"Deh!"
Deh dehing deh dehful; deh deh deh dehble. Deh deh deh, Deh dehed deh dehry deh deh deher deh deh deh deh, deh dehor deh dehtead deh deh deher "dehed deh dehs."

Deh deh dehing deh deh deh deh deh deh dehry deh deh deh deh dehed. Deh dehed deh deh Deh deh dehed deh deh dehal deh dehs. Deh deh dehlous. Dehling's deh dehs deh dehed deh dehes deh deh dehs deh deh deh deh deh deh deh dehing. Deh Deh deh deh dehish, dehing deh deh Dehry Dehher deh deh deh Dehphen Dehng. Deh deh dehthing deh deh dehect deh, "Deh dehse dehs deh dehing Dehry Dehher deh dehdeh deh dehdeh, deh deh deh deh deher deh deh deh deh deh deh Dehphen Dehng." Deh deh deh deh dehght. Deh deh deh dehing dehic. Deh deh deh "Dehry Dehher" deh deh, deh deh, dehed deh deh Dehphen Dehng.

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>hufflepuff
>normies
I don't think you know the origins of that term, they're the complete opposite

Bathrooms are shown throughout the movies and books. It's even a major plot point of Chamber of Secrets.

yeah, gryffindor is normies and chads in one hump.
Slytherin and Ravenclaw are still the patrician choices.

Quality kek

wasn't the gigachad cedric a hufflepuff

am i derailing your narrative now

In the books it is described that he is an once in a century phenomenon. Hufflepuff was oozing for him because he's the best they'll ever get.
Too bad he got cucked by Krum

ah so he was no true hufflepuff then. dumb fallacy poster

Based.

>am i derailing your narrative now
Cringe, go back to Sup Forums
The house is called "Hufflepuff" and no one wants to be in there. It's clearly the house for the shy kids everyone knew in school.

but wasn't the gigachad cedric a hufflepuff

am i derailing your narrative again

>not dehstoevsky
One job

And consistently scared Ron was a Gryffindor
Pretty sure he was relieved to get in

Clearly.
Which would you want between Slytherin and Ravenclaw though? Question directed at anyone.

It's Akabur's work with reworks, more scenarii, arts

wow, that's actually funny. what is doing on Sup Forums

I want both. Ravenclaw on my dick and Slytherin on my face.