>Wake up in newly built detached house I pay £200 for a month thanks to the government assisted mortgage plan, with only £50 council tax on top of that
>Go to work in my Ford Focus 2016 model, fueled with £1.09 a litre petrol, which I don't have to pay road tax on
>Leisurely drive to work on well maintained roads, never seeing a brown or black person
>Go to my place of work, a job I got with a 4 year physics degree course at St Andrews university, where I didn't have to pay a penny to attend
>Work for only 5 hours a day, 3 days a week, because wages topped up with EESA, tax credits, and petrol tax reduction still leaves me with £1100 after I've paid all my bills
>On way home at 1pm, stop in to Doctors and have him write me a prescription for co-codomal which I pick up for free
>Quickly clean the car using my hosepipe jet sprayer, as we have no such ban
>Sit in my lovely warm house, heated and fueled with a ground source heat pump and solar energy that the government installed for free last year as part of a green initiative
>Pour myself a crystal clear glass of water, straight from the tap, with no limescale to be found
>Browse Sup Forums on my super fast connection, installed with priority in the Scottish hub cities and surrounding towns
This triggers the English.