Kelly does it again!

Kelly does it again!

Nice dig at creepy uncle Joe there.

>crying liberty is back
thank god

>Mitch McConnell
how can you get molested by a turtle?

>the rock
Yeah I can see Trish Stratus or Torrie Wilson coming out in the future about him.

>Dwayne "The Rock Johnson
Who in the blue hell do these jabronis think they could pick a fight with the People's Champ?

>Vin Scully
Oh god damn it.

>adam sandler
Those odds should be a lot higher.
It's a guaranteed that he has sexually harassed or assaulted girls because of his personality.
Only a matter of time.

Where's Kelly himself?

???
Kelly is an upstanding American Citizen with good taste that has women constantly hitting on him (especially that cashier at the 7/11 who I know wants to ask me out). I would never sexually assault someone. You sound like some sort of sicko.

ALWAYS RIGHT

Kelly has long been immunized against the vile thot.

If anyday that unfunny jew sandler gets the noose, I'll be a really happy guy.

>that perfect selection of who Kelly considers to be "prominent males"

Best characterization in comics

Is there something wrong with me if I don't see the joke and think that's a pretty accurate list, star-level-wise?

>Alan Alda

Aww, come on. Leave the guy alone.

Gordon Ramsey

Ted Cruz

Eventurally, Steven Speilberg

>Alan Alda
god I hope not
I was already devastated with Charlie Rose
if it turns out Alan Alda does this shit then there's no hope for man

Look again. Regis? Tom Selleck? Alan Alda? It's a completely arbitrary selection of a couple current politicians and big names your grandpa might actually know then it's all cable news people, daytime TV people or actors who were on TV 40 years ago, it's perfect Kelly

>Adam Sandler
I'd be more surprised if he wasn't.
And I hate his fucking songs.

In the corner, like usual. Are you going blind user?

This is doubly funny for me because I'm watching a news report right now about an Australian entertainer being acussed of this sort of thing.

>Kelly is
>I would never
>perspective shift in less than a sentence

>of this sort of thing

Are you autistic?

Those are bad odds retard. If you put a dollar on him you'll get $1.28

How the hell does Kelly manage to be so topical yet so timeless at the same time?

I dunno, would we have gotten so many awful "Adam Sandler and his famous friends go on holiday somewhere nice and make a movie to write it off on their taxes" films if that was the case?

Careful now

i want to be in a monogamous relationship with lady liberty so i can wipe her tears away

but im brown

captcha: dundee left

you're brown
she's green

This one isn't even far from the truth. What the fuck are you doing Kelly?

I hope someone that works on one of the 24 hours news channels gets found out, and causes the channels to shut down.

it's almost like hollywood breeds the rape culture

you mean like Bill O'Reilly?

Put on an Indian headdress and call yourself Chief Goodtimes. Problem solved.

Very slowly.

Considering his post made perfect sense... are you?

>Ted Cruz
The only thing he's ever been attracted to is power.

Everyone on this site is autistic.
What a dumb question to ask.

...

You are, apparently, since you missed the meaning of his post entirely.

Ignorant fool

How does he keep getting away with it?

Well yeah but gut isn't important here.

Why would that stop you? "Huddled masses" of foreigners from 3rd world countries are her fetish.

*but guilt

It's an Onion comic, dumb dumbs.

Truly he has grasped the essence of the character

I think that's his concern; there's always another boat of huddled masses from somewhere ready to sail up her skirts.

>i want to be in a monogamous relationship with lady liberty so i can wipe her tears away

>but im brown
I mean, technically, so was she. Maybe someday you'll be green, too.

i doubt it since there has been rumors of him being gay.

also if the rock had any sort of scandal we probably won't hear about it until he decides to run for president.

vince is probably more likely to have someone come out against him.

Isn't he dead?

>vince is probably more likely to have someone come out against him.

Male, female, or both?

Considering that Terry Crews who is of the same power level has also been sexually assaulted, who knows, The Rock might've been a victim.

>a single accusation can get someone fired after 20 years of dedicated work

The logic is sound, with zero tolerance and fighting against apologist behavior, but also the idea of innocent until proven guilty is irrelevant with that logic as well.

Whatever. I have no dog in this fight. The most I've ever done is seem creepy. Never touched, spoken lewdly or imposed myself on a woman. If I want sex I'll save up and pay for it at a brothel or an escort service. If I want companionship I'll get a dog.

Some articles I've been reading about regarding the scandal have implied and on occasion explicitly stated that innocent until proven guilty doesn't "work" for sexual assault because it rarely leaves evidence and is typically a matter of he said she said, and that we need to utilize a different system for these crimes.

Which I whole-heartedly oppose.

And incest porn

>a different system
Sure, I can get behind that

Virtual realty that gets more real
Direct neural input for pleasure
Sex bots that behave like the real thing without being real (non sentient fuck toys)
3D printing, automated farming, personal renewable energy source for maximum self reliance

Basically a system where people can afford to live by themselves and separate from anyone else

The NEET way of living, enhanced.

Do you think Chyna pegged the Rock backstage?

I think it's also a case of a case-by-case basis, with some of these accusations going after people who have basically been known to do this shit since forever and it was largely an open secret. And other people who get like one accuser. An accusation shouldn't be an instant end of your career but when it's 20/30/40+ accusers, you do sort of need to take notice.

Yes.

No, he's 81 and looking pretty good.

That's probably consensual

Accusations aren't evidence no matter how many of them there are.

There's missing the point and then there's not even being in the same system as the point

Sure, but it warrants investigation. One rando accusing a celeb is probably just attention seeking. Twenty, though? Just in case, should probably make sure the guy doesn't consider being asleep a form of consent.

When there's enough corroborating witnesses though it really demands an in-depth investigation. Let's also note that this isn't the same thing as being guilty in a court of law which is totally separate from the court of public opinion.

There's no way to disprove all this sexual assault shit.
>He raped me!
>No I didn't
>THAT'S WHAT A RAPIST WOULD SAY YOU'RE FIRED

Simon Cowell, please go. I know it's you. I got $20 riding on you.

Seriously though, you can't prove a negative. When some bitch says you raped her, it's all over.

>You can't prove a negative
Why is this such a popular line on online arguments? It isn't true for any useful sense of the word "proved," but it gets trotted out all the time as if it's some accepted fact.

That could have been fun for everyone involved but it’s likely more that everyone was a kid once and could be fucked over by adults.

>Kelly not siding with sexual assaulters

Surprised why?

>have sexual encounter with a woman
>she claims it wasn't consensual
What possible existing evidence could be collected to prove it was, when all she's presented is a retroactive claim?

My money is on Chris Hansen

Guy had a very strong “look over there and not over here” thing going for him.

Not what I was arguing at all. Though, in that case, you're trying to prove a positive, i.e., that it was consensual.
I wasn't saying that it's easy, or even possible in some cases, to prove you didn't rape a person. Just that
>lol you can't prove a negative
line seems to have exploded on the internet in the last few years, and it's total shit that gets treated as self-evident fact.

>Chris Hansen approaching himself and asking himself to take a seat

I'll only accept this if he runs back and forth, switching positions between the intimidating cop and the pleading accused.

Technically the problem is that you can be fired for accusation that don't need to go on at the court. If people had to get a lawier and shit to start that witch hunt it would never happen.

Oh yeah I agree, "you can't prove a negative" simply isn't fucking true, because you can prove a negative so long as it's within a limited realm of possibility i.e. "X isn't in this room currently, which is evident by the fact you can see the entire room and they aren't in it".

Whaat, why is Dwayne Johnson up there? For some reason I can't imagine him being a douche in real life.

Those are people who haven't been accused yet.

>Liberity as a bookie

Fucking Ace.

he has already been caught cheating on his wife.

How underage was the girl?

Best part of all of these

and cheese

>Vin Scully

Ok Kelly...there’s jokes and then there’s going too far!

Vin Scully is a damn Saint!

It's so fucking ingenious.

Define the past dominating demographic as inherently bad.
Then define a moral scale that is the invert of the existing one.
After some progress has been made, ramp it the demands to 11
Use the internet to tell the next generation everything is wrong, and never say how to fix it
After years go by, a new wave of "progressives" will see systems and a certain people are evil, and demand and suggest through subtly that things and people be removed and replaced in the name of a new social good.
Any dissenting opinion is met with humor, ridicule, silence through moral superiority.

Too bad he did put Matt Lauer on the board. That would've been funny.

Almost like...it was the result of subversion by an enemy nation with a vested interest in destroying this one

and butter

I feel like this would be more alarming if it was effecting things outside Hollywood and Washington. Though, I guess this is setting a precedence that will allow this to happen in any field.

he will be, but not for long.

Joe Biden may be a pedo, but he's also fairly beloved and probably has only skirted the law. I don't know if he'd get called out, it's kind of a public secret already.

> Be young woman with ambition to attain fame to gain access to the best men
> Meet a wealthy man with conntections who can do favour for you in exchange for sex
> Your vagina turns moist because it's your biological imperative to find mates like this
> Years later he gets in trouble
> He no longer seems powerful and thus less attractive
> Instant regret, #metoo was raped

And delegates