Spider-Man thread?

Hey Sup Forums, it's been a while. Can someone explain to me what's going on with Spider-Man? I heard Ben was alive and PI was going under and... Man, I just think I might be better off reading stories about Peter having sex with his wife.

Oh boy, where to start.
Peter is dating Mockingbird, who's pretty overtly emotionally abusive towards him (basically calls him worthless for SAVING PEOPLE'S DATE FROM HYDRA, puts up news clippings around the house of him losing his company with "HA HA HA" magnets, and forces him to sleep on the couch after sex). He's working for the Daily Bugle (again) as a science article editor.

Some cool shit is happening in Zdarsky's Spectacular though (finally) Jameson learned who Peter is. SHIELD is hunting Peter Parker down for harboring his sister who's now an enemy of the country (she found out about a project to kill everyone with powers so she stole it an ran). Jameson came to help give Peter a ride out of the madness, secretly not wanting to lose anyone else, especially after Clone Conspiracy. Aunt May was getting arrested by SHIELD agents as a way to draw Peter out, so he turned himself in.

RYV had a time skip and Annie is a teenager now.

>dating Mockingbird, who's pretty overtly emotionally abusive towards him
Well that makes me immediately sad. I liked her back when I last read Amazing. God, it was... During the zodiac stuff.

>Zdarsky's Spectacular t
Is that the one where he bukkakes the White Rabbit? Because I thought that was supposed to be a retelling of 616's early years. If Peter actually has. A sister though, it'd pretty much have to be different.

>RYV had a time skip and Annie is a teenager now.
This doesnt sound good though. I heard MJ got the symbiote. It seems like drama. My wife has the powers of my worst enemy, my daughter is entering her rebellious teen years, and somewhere else my doppelganger is a victimnof domestic violence.

Spider-Man. Is a victim of domestic violence. What the fuck?

I just wanted happy fun times for Peter. Looks like it's back to that clonecest story for me. Thanks user.

>Is that the one where he bukkakes the White Rabbit?
That's just Spidey

Jebus, how many spidertitles are there? And what's the ratio of readable to disgusting?

>Is that the one where he bukkakes the White Rabbit?
No, that was Spidey
>Because I thought that was supposed to be a retelling of 616's early years.
Nope, alt reality.
> If Peter actually has. A sister though, it'd pretty much have to be different.
The sister existed for years in Mark Waid's Spider-Man: Family Business. She's the result of Pete's parents banging in Europe. Spectacular is honestly REALLY fucking good, but the first three issues are absolute garbage.
> I heard MJ got the symbiote.
She got rid of it, which I was upset about because I really like the idea of the symbiote finally getting with Peter.

List:
>Amazing Spider-Man
>Spectacular Spider-Man
>Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows
>Avengers
>Spider-Man (Miles Morales)
>Spider-Gwen
>Scarlet Spider
>Venom

Readable ones:
>Spectacular Spider-Man
>Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows
>Scarlet Spider
>Venom (though I'm not caught up, so subject to change)
Spidey was canceled a while ago.

So did Jameson take it better this time around?

That is to say, Spidey was an alternate reality. Spectacular is canon.

He wants a refund for all the selfies Peter gave him over the years

Well it’s a good thing for Spidey that JJ never formally hired Peter then

He demanded a refund for the photos when Peter noticed him getting a bit emotional, but right now he's worried about getting Peter to safety. Hopefully it leads to the two working together. Maybe even Jameson giving him the "my son's an astronaut" treatment.

Huh, I thought the Theresa thing was up for grabs. But Family Business was fun to look at at least. The art was top. I'd never even heard of Spectacular.


I like the idea of the symbiote finally getting with Peter too. But with Peter. Giving MJ powers is one thing, it gave us that anal smut story, but giving her the symbiote is like giving Lois Lane kryptonian abilities. When your husband's Superman, or when you and your husband are the best Spider-Man Spider-Woman pair, it just aint necessary.


Hope he's joking and he ends up being based like Ultimate Jameson was.


Thanksanon. Is Ben anywhere on that list, or just really, really low?

>Is Ben anywhere on that list, or just really, really low?
Scarlet Spider's him.

I just remembered that Kaine as Scarlet Spider was cancelled years ago and the Scarlet Spider you listed is probably Ben.

...damn it...

>Scarlet Spider
Yep, he is. No problem, user.

Kaine is a main character in the book too. Maybe not in the way you want though, but hey, Spineretes are back and that's always fun.

When I was younger, I spent about two years laboring under the delusion that MJ was Firestar

It's okay, Amazing Friends confused the fuck out of young me too

>Spider-Man. Is a victim of domestic violence. What the fuck?
Yeah, here's the thing about Slott. He didn't like the MJ x Peter relationship because in his mind she's too "perfect". According to Slott no woman that pretty could be that nice. Dude's straight up r9k at heart, but hides it under the guise of progressivism on Twitter. It's why he writes Bobbi as a cunt, because to him that's probably the ideal woman. Just let that sink in for a moment.

Pft, I can beat that. When I was younger, I saw the Spider-man and Captain america coloring books and got it into my head that MC2 Spider-Girl was Peter's girlfriend or wife and I thought it was SO awesome.

These symniote waifs are unf as fuck though.

The 90s series confused me because why wasn't she using her powers?

Because she was a hydroclone the entire time!

Symbiote-tans are criminally underrated. I've got a folder of them, but sadly it's not too large.
We don't talk about that here. It just gets me angry that we never got to see the ending.

>Spineretes
For a second I thought that was Peter and Wade's cloned powerbaby, ItsyBitsy, but then I thought you were talking about organic webbing. Now... Do the spiderCain and Abel have a team name? Or is that still RYV mj's name?

What are you talking about, it totally got a continuation. :^)

Fuck, meant to say Slingers.

None canon, divergent timeline according to the original creators. Even if it wasn't, Unlimited takes place in the middle of the breaks between one of the TAS seasons, meaning the MJ in the opening is still a clone.

>None canon, divergent timeline according to the original creators
Then my entire childhood is a lie.

Speaking of spiderspinoffs, whatever happened to the MVPs? Not that I care really, always saw them as an imitation of Peter.


So Slott is still worse than fanfic writers in just about every capacity save official, got it.

The Iron Spiders, right? Only one of them survived. No one really cares about them anyway though, so I doubt we'll be seeing him come back any time soon.

We should send Slott Tweets listing the examples of abuse Bobbie puts Pete through with the #metoo tag. Just to push his buttons.

He'll just block you like the hug box faggot he is. Besides, it's not like he doesn't know. The dude admitted to browsing Sup Forums, he's probably seen tons of people bitching about it already. Really puts things into context when you see people shilling Superior, doesn't it?

If only the writer for Batgirl browses Sup Forums. We could have had that Killer Moth romance arc.

I honestly think Peter and Bobbi could work really well if it was like a reverse of Dharma and Greg. Bobbi learning to relax around Peter and not be so uptight on things, but nothing ever nice happens.

She's a murderer and false rape accuser. Pete should be smarter than to bang her.

Anyone else's Spider-man head-cannon end at OMD?

No. My Spider-Man end is the MC2.

My head-canon: Pete cashes in that favor Loki owes him, uses the norn stones to heal May. She gets temporarily empowered as a result but does nothing with it except superspeed knitting and accidentally breaking furniture.

At the end of the day Bobbi is a hot blonde. Peter seems to have an affinity for those.