I'm pretty sure Tony gets so much ass because of his status, not his dick-game. Pretty sad, really. I mean, Reed outclasses him in everything. Doom is canonically hung like a horse. He's not even a billionaire these days.
Why is it so much suffering to be Tony Stark?
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>doom is canonically hung like a horse
explain.
He's rich, successful, a genius, seen as a hero the world over, but also a STRAIGHT WHITE MALE. An unpardonable sin at Marvel these days.
Not OP, but all fanfics portray DOOM as packing a 12”x8” cock or something. As for Canon, well, there was that instance in that Counter-Earth mini where he was naked and the “shadows” went pretty down, alluding to a large dick.
Eh, let’s be honest here, not everyone has an 8” cock. Average is about 5.5-6. Tony’s of English & Italian stock, so it’s not like he was ever gonna be a stallion.
Richard "DICK" Rider >>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark.
Nah, Stark fucks good enough for SheHulk, Gamora was just too brutal for him or perhaps intentionally humiliated him to get him to stop flirting with her.
You forget that She-Hulk fucked him only once, when he was Director if SHIELD, and she was working for SHIELD, so... I think it was less “he fucks good” and more “if I give him some ass and pretend I enjoy it I might get a promotion”.
And before she saw the disappointment that he was, Gamora was into it. There’s no case of it being intentional humiliation, as she gets extremely pissed off at him later. She simply wanted a good dick, he didn’t have it, and in her eyes he became worthless.
Gamora seemed like a bad girl version of Starfire. She could get any man she wanted but she seemed to have a thing for in particular. And of course that man's name is Dick.
Pichelli confirmed he fired early here and didn't get to fuck Gamora. Hence why she's still wearing her undergarments. Otherwise Gamora would've been naked under the sheets like Tony.
Bendis won't confirm anything but he alluded to the same thing, Tony just couldn't handle her.
Honestly just seeing Rich gets her horny (pic related).
She's been attracted to Rich, Adam, and Vance Astro.
Adam she formed a connection with and him constantly frustrating her plus being a badass made her want to fuck him but Adam turned her down. He's also the peak of human perfection and probably could fuck like a god but to her dismay and that of every women and men he doesn't seem to care much for sex.
With Rich it started as casual fucking but eventually they both developed feelings for each other then went their separated ways. There is always sexual tension when they meet up tho. I also like to think Rich is open to a lot of things and is kinky as fuck. He dated Namorita and even fuck her when she was blue and had webbed hands and shit, also Necker seemed like she would do some freaky shit in bed. Plus he's young (younger than her if you think about it) so he has the stamina too.
Vance Astro when he punched the Matriarch she got horny and asked him if he had a zipper in his suit. Then in Guardians 3000 she saw him kickass and take the lead and she was so impressed with him she wanted him to be the leader of their Guardian group instead of Star-lord.
...
...
>fires early
Still bad. And really, it makes sense for him to be a Dicklet. He overcompensates all the time, and constantly tries to aug himself.
>Canon Dicklets & Bad Fuckers
Ralph is a 4.
Step aside dicklets.
It's time to show these guys who the real fuckers are.
>It's a literal dick measuring contest
Freud would have a field day here.
Chulk is such a bad kisser he turned Viv gay.
no psychoanalysis needed, we like dicks.
So Bruce has been hinted at being hung but what about Dick? Not like it matters because he's always depicted as great in bed mainly due to his stamina.
Freud was a memer and is barely entry level psychology.
check that shadow again user
Huh. I remembered it bigger. Looks as if his balls aren't even visible. I guess they're flying sideways? I guess the fan-fics lied, cause that's not hung.
How many of his fucks do you think turned out dissapointing Sup Forums? is Tony canonically the worst sex-doer? I mean, we have tons of panels of Parker wooing MJ. Stark's a playboy, but it seems to me he sucks at it. It's why he doesn't have a stable love-interest. He attracts women due to his status, but he cannot keep them. I mean, his longest relationship was with a Japanese, while his favorites are blondes & redheads... Being Tony is suffering...
>So Bruce has been hinted at being hung but
Sauce? I know that he's got great stamina (dee-dee), but I don't know about the Bat-Dick.
>what about Dick?
There was an issue of Grayson where they examine him and he's naked, but nobody makes any mention of his dick or whatever. So average, I guess.
'Member when Gomora was super sexy
good times
>Sauce? I know that he's got great stamina (dee-dee), but I don't know about the Bat-Dick.
Cannot confirm but I believe I heard some remarks and innuendo in comics.
>nobody makes any mention of his dick
Dat ass tho ...
I reckon he's the opposite. Lois is a lucky woman.
i remember wizard magazine milking the "boy wonder" joke for all it's worth.
That's cause Spidey is Marvel's best and most popular Self-Insert. Tony was always a B rank side hero no one really liked till the movies.
Actually he hasn't... Clark has though.
Well he is Superman. I think WW was happy to with Superbro
You.
Your dad.
Your uncle.
Your grandpa.
>Average is about 5.5-6
Maybe in Asia
I assumed Tony has great sex skills for Earth, but Gamora is used to a galactic level of sex skills that haven't reached Earth yet. So the more time a person spends in space sleeping around with different aliens, the better they get at sex. Tony just couldn't handle Gamora's galactic sex game.
>it’s an user pretends to be an “””average””” 8” episode
5.5”-6.5” is the world average. Even places like the Congo have an average of 6.5” or something close.
That was my guess as well. Tony has developed skills over time, but he has no monstercock to instantly please an alien like Gamora. He compensates for his less than stellar dick by having moves, but Gamora being Gamora isn’t phased by that. If he had superpowers or a bigger cock, the moves would’ve been secondary, since he could provide the necessary force. But Tony being an average meant that he just couldn’t handle it.
Okay, Nova and Miles faces waiting for something to happen got me
Hey, at least they all got laid. By the same woman.
It's because the majority are around the 5-7.5 mark - the dick bell curve is shaped more like a dick than a bell.
The further you go from the average (in either direction) the more the chance drops drastically.
In other words the vast men fall into the middle ground, less than 4 and greater than 8 are rare
There is no need for guesswork. the studies have already been done. read em and weep boys:
Republic of Congo, 7.1
Ecuador, 7
Ghana, 6.8
Colombia 6.7
Iceland 6.5
Italy 6.2
South Africa 6
Sweden 5.9
Greece 5.8
Germany 5.7
New Zealand 5.5
UK 5.5
Canada 5.5
Spain 5.5
France 5.3
Australia 5.2
Russia 5.2
USA 5.1
Ireland 5
Romania 5
China 4.3
India 4
Thailand 4
South Korea 3.8
North Korea 3.8
digitaljournal.com
...
why do people keep repeating that false Congo statistic, anyway?
because muh cuck fetish
>North Korea 3.8
That explains everything.
This board really is just another Sup Forums now.
I don't get how these studies are supposed to be accurate when the data is all self reported. And what about girth?
no one cares about hocky puck dick
Truly
SK should blare dick stats into NK instead of music.
So what I can infer here OP, is that you have a minuscule dick and the only way that you feel better about it is by comparing yourself to fictional characters whose dick sizes you're just pulling out of your ass.
W-What? N-no...
Actually yeah, except I don’t have a microdick. It’s around 6.5”x5.5” but the fact that it’s not 8”+ has left me with a deep insecurity. This pic got spammed here so many times, I figured I’d give it a try.
And come on, Stark’s totally a Dicklet (not a Micro, just not BBC). He doesn’t have a stable relationship, he sleeps around but never gets closer than a one night stand, he always makes his armors flashier and even experiments on himself. It all reeks of overcompensating.
That's... pretty sad.
By The Goddess, to taste of Jen's ambrosial nectars...
Wait, that is Gamora? What the!?
Bendis' GotG.
And Bendis also wrote Pic Related which definitely alludes to him being a dicklet.
Dunno about dicklet, but he's certainly autistic.
>everyone's wearing their beach attire
>Tony the Autist shows up in his armor
Can't get more pathetic than that.
Eh, maybe he slipped into it to give them some help on pulling the r-
>he's wearing his swimtrunks over his armour
Yup, he's an autisic dicklet.
>fanfics
To be fair, looking at those unbalanced as fuck teams, he sort of had to.
Yeah but look at the trunks. He's wearing them OVER his suit. He showed up like this.
I remember an issue of BoP that had Canary walk in on him showering, and I think she was staring at this dick, but its been years since I read it and have no scans with me.
It could just as easily have been too small. I mean, the guy wears tights and never has a bulge...
...
How is a guy who has nanomachine'd himself countless times a dicklet, much less firing early? Augmenting your sexual performance seems like the first things any male would do in his position.
>Canon Dicklets
en.wikipedia.org
anyone who's not on that list
>Ecuador
Hell Yeah man
Doesn't look like she's starring to me. She is giggling though, so maybe he's packing heat.
The fact that he's so fucking eager to experiment on himself should give you the answer. He's trying to upgrade himself, but he's still an engineer, he's not well-versed in biology. And what can he do? Go to a clinic and say "ay girl, put those super-cool nanites on muh dick". It'd make national news. Remember, Extremis was Hansen's creation that he modified with Machine Code.
Best theory I can come up with is that he's trying to boost his intelligence back to Extremis level and become enough of a polymath to change his biology. Become immortal, taller, etc, etc.
But really, the fact that with all the disaster stories around him, he's still dead set on modifying himself, tells everything...
All Star Batman came in a flash of lightning and Black Canary immediately gets surly with him.
I thought he was already capable of doing all those changes. Wasn't he pretty much changing 4s to 10s during the whole superior stint?
An inch or 5 compared to all the other shit hes done over the years seems like it'd be nothing.
Reed views this thread and laughs
He ain't even black
He purged Extremis though. But yeah, dunno. Might be an ego thing. His obsession with upgrading/augmenting himself does hint at him being dissatisfied with himself, but I think he's too prideful to make any significant changes to himself.
Either way, Pre-Extremis he was definitely on the average side. During Superior, he probably gave himself a bigger dick. Post-Superior, dunno.
Reed is actually the biggest Chad in comics.
>smartest person ever
>addoration of millions
>space explorer
>can make his dick any size he wants
Seriously, how can the rest compete?! Stark spends so much time trying to control the world, when Reed could easily do all that shit if he wanted.
His wife keeps giving the side eye to the fishman who's tried to kill him multiple times.
And? What does Reed care about some thot? Unlike Stark The Dicklet, he could satisfy any woman in th Multiverse. His dick can take any size or shape. He simply doesn't care about it.
>the Virgin Stark
>vs
>the Chad Richards
man i miss when Gamora used to be fun
>Reed is actually the biggest Chad in comics.
Reed go to sleep, you can't even change into a bicycle.
I have a feeling sue would never actually fuck namor but she knows making reed jealous leads to him actually coming to dinner and banging her out
No, there just pretending his dick doesn't exist for modesty sake, otherwise his dick would be literally non existant.
Woah.... So this is the power of superhero lore...
I want to defend my waifu. But no. Gwen is a thirsty whore.
Not sure about dicklets but
Superman is hung it happened in new 52
Morrison said some shit about Batman being hung.
Hercules in marvel if I remember correctly is also hung
Wolverine I believe was hinted of being a big guy.
That's all I got.
Sauces?
Bruce has Canon the biggest dick in the justice league. Morrison says that the guy has a monster dick.
Then how come it's not visible when wearing tights?
Morrison just wants to fuck Batman
Superman and Batman have equally huge dongs. I can't imagine it any other way.
>"Dick " Rider
All of the Wayne's have great dicks Barbatos spares no expense for its favourite family
Clark is pretty lucky but I bet Lois is pretty happy
Because showing dick outline is consider boardline pornographic. The same reason why the don't usually have cameltoes and nipples shining through the tight among women heroes. Shame too because I could go for some Super and Bat dongs.
So is Cap the only hero in Marvel who hasn't fucked every vagina in the Avengers? Seriously Marvel characters are such sluts holy fuck.
Hulk hasn't fucked much.
watching SymbioteGwen drool over Murdock was adorable
Namor has a small dick
I don't know about that, just ask Black Widow.
Wait... Is that a drawing of Goku behind Alfred?
Freud more like fraud
Volstagg has, like, twelve kids. Not counting the ones he's adopted. Dude just doesn't stop.
Yeah, the number of people Cap's slept with is pretty low. I think it's basically just Sharon Carter, Peggy Carter, Bernie Rosenthal, Diamondback, and that one prosecutor chick in the mid-2000s.
Reed: 10/10
Pym: 10/10
Tony: 1/10
This may be why Carol prefers women now.
Spider-Man and Judge Dredd both have small dicks.
Thor's implied to be hella hung.
Hank is probably pretty big even without Pym particles. Sex is the one thing he doesn't seem to have much trouble with.