6 years later, still no superheroes

>6 years later, still no superheroes
Why did Grant Morrison lie to us, Sup Forumsbros?
wired.com/2011/07/grant-morrison-supergods/
>The superheroes of comics have quite clearly taken flight and migrated to the screen. They’ve migrated also into reality, in the form of real-life superheroes created by medical and technological advances, and other ways in which we cannot even predict.

Other urls found in this thread:

twitter.com/jnecreaper?lang=en
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AI_effect
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_Jones
youtube.com/watch?v=oQVQVt5H2QM
biography.com/people/john-wayne-gacy-10367544
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

we're getting there, senpai. Just gotta keep believing.

They're called doctors and firemen
I would've said engineers as well but the ones in Silicon Valley are lazy fuckers who haven't made jack shit
Fuck, the Chinese are going to beat us to Mars aren't they?

It's not looking too good so far. The best we've had currently are what, Phoenix Jones? Anti-scientology protesters wearing Guy Fawkes masks?

China is the future main superpower. They need more years of captialism and other stuff.

If they do then maybe we’ll get another space reason even fucking India his heading to the moon, problem is the designers just can’t install Loos in the damn shuttle

>They can make entire skyscrapers in just a few weeks/days
>They've made numerous bullet trains connecting their large ass country while the US is struggling with a Californian based one
>IIRC they have the most advanced supercomputer in the world right now
Stupid cigarette smoking, censoring, bootlegging, animal abusing commies
I should've taken my parents trying to make me learn Chinese more seriously

A real superhero by the name of Torchbearer is going to appear on Christmas Eve.

He’s going to prove he’s a superhero by kicking Trump out of the White House and proving Trump colluded with Russia. Trump will end up killing him self before going to trial.

I’m another hero, Afterthought, and I can see 6 months into the future. Get ready boys.

Because six years is fucking nothing on the scale of technological progress.

Since then we've gotten, what, faster satellite connections? Slightly better processor speeds? Highly experimental 5 foot tall mechs whose most impressive feat is running across a parking lot and can only successfully walk up a step 50% of the time?

We're a very long way from biological and cybernetic enhancement. We haven't even solved the problems of obesity and cancer, we can barely keep people from giving each other STDs.

The only """""superhero""""" I can think of is this Russian Batman called Jnec Grim Reaper from Moscow who declared war on drug lords and he hasn't been spotted in years
I think he might've been a hoax or something
twitter.com/jnecreaper?lang=en

They also do backflips.

Be glad you didn't learn Chinese

>Why did Grant Morrison lie to us, Sup Forumsbros?
He didn't lie. He's just not a very insightful person. All he can do is spot coincidences and connect dots but he never really managed to draw any interesting conclusions from them.

Mate, I'm Chinese American
I can blend in with them in appearance alone

Just look for another job, faggot.

>TFW i was depressed a few months ago i was seriously considering dressing up as a supervillain and would rob banks
I was either going to act like the ventriloquist with my slappy doll i have or i was going to make up a new moniker with an outfit. Luckily i snapped out of it because i dont want to go to jail.

Yeah structure your life around some angry autists Sup Forums rant.

I regret not paying more attention in primarcy scholl japanese

You are sitting on a device with access to all the knowledge of the world.

You're not Superman, but you can be Metron.

The question is what are you gonna do with the power and skills you already have, that's what makes or breaks a "superhero".

He's also a luddite in real life avoiding most technology and the internet.

No, those are just heroes.
I want superheroes.
People with superpowers doing the right thing.

welcom to a list

Goddamnit

Lists are for muslims, not for cosplaying white people.

>They’ve migrated also into reality, in the form of real-life superheroes created by medical and technological advances, and other ways in which we cannot even predict.
The pills and vaccines you've been taking are your superheroes

>Not improving yourself
>Waiting on outside factors to make the world better
>Not gambling that stamp

Step it up user.

>Fuck, the Chinese are going to beat us to Mars aren't they?
think of it more like a trail of exploded/decompressed wrecks almost making it to Mars orbit, all of their deaths endlessly replaying on LiveLeak

>One Million
>"wtf i love then internet!"
>Final Crisis/The Just
>"wtf I hate the internet!"

^This.
Though my standards aren't even that high. I would count it as a "superhero" situation if a guy with no powers actually participated in vigilante justice on a regular basis while wearing some sort of distinctive, out of the ordinary clothes (doesn't even need to be a full blown costume, just something distinctive and recognizable) and received a moniker of some sort from the media, like with the Unabomber but for a guy who was fighting criminals rather than randomly mailing bombs to people I'm pretty sure were innocent of any wrongdoing.

I have not known a single Chinese person who said this wasn't 100% correct.

One million was written when the internet was new and full of potential, FC and especially The Just were released when it was clear the internet was a shitheap that would only get worse.

I'm pretty sure you know tons of Chinese and not just people who left. I guess all the Americans I meet who moved out of the US and talk shit on it always are good sources too.

That's not some crazy baseless rant, it's a well known fact that not every part of the world is operating to the same standards as Western developed nations when it comes to business practices.
You see something similar when it comes to how incredibly reckless drivers in some parts of the world are compared to the baseline safe driving practices you've gotten used to in your own region of the world.

Not sure about how Chinese businessmen work but my relatives are nice and respectful
I'm this guy by the way My cousin in particular is the opposite of every negative stereotype
She's polite, cheerful, loves animals (adopted a stray cat), and her husband is a fan of Star Wars.

>I guess all the Americans I meet who moved out of the US and talk shit on it always are good sources too.
What bad things have expats said about America exactly? Is it just the paying for healthcare thing? Or the obesity epidemic and the prevalence of trashy chain stores like Walmart and fast food joints?

>haven't solved obesity
Don't go back for thirds. Drink water instead of soda. Take the fucking stairs. Repeat for the rest of your life.

Congrats, you are now no longer a pathetic piece of fat shit.

They say all kinds of stuff I honestly tend to tune out. Lots of things about conservatives, education, knowledge of the world, open mindedness and what you said.

Shouldn't you be called Forethought?

>Repeat for the rest of your life.
There's the hard part.
I'm not obese by the way (actually fairly underweight / hungry skelly mode), but the problems I do have like living in a pile of undiscarded trash are the kinds of problems that don't get solved specifically because I can do the right thing one day but it gets harder to keep up with the next day, and even harder the day after that, etc, to where the idea of doing it my entire life is very clearly impossible. No way would I have the energy to NEVER get lazy and fall out of that sort of good habit like taking out trash instead just throwing it on the floor.

>Wanting Mike Pence to run

Pence is probably complicit in the Flynn shit

Paul Ryan finally gets to be president

Well none of that is wrong, America has problems and those are all fair criticisms. But that's totally different from the practical problem of a nation that doesn't get anywhere close to the business standards you're used to. It's vaguely annoying to have to look at lots of fat people and fast food places everywhere, but I would gladly take that sort of annoyance over the annoyance of having hundreds of thousands of dollars go down the drain because of a failure to adhere to contractual standards, in a way where legal recourse wouldn't be easily available because they're overseas.

I can't imagine how many lists I must be on.

Probably none if you aren't either muslim or member of a radical political organization.

Is Grant part of the Endless?

OK buddy, see you in a couple weeks.

It's not his fault you didn't believe in Ultra hard enough, user.

>They’ve migrated also into reality, in the form of real-life superheroes created by medical and technological advances, and other ways in which we cannot even predict
>They’ve migrated also into reality, in the form of real-life superheroes created by medical and technological advances, and other ways in which we cannot even predict

This nigger is retarded, super heroes have been around since forever in reality, just look at Caesar, or Germanicus.

Probably, but changing his name to that now would make the original name more appropriate.

Member serial experiments lain.

Mueller is going to call himself Torchbearer?

or is that going to be his Deep Throat

But the fast food joints are a good thing

>Caesar
>superhero
How? Was his superpower being really good at war and politics?
I think you're confusing "great man" with "superhero."

Do i get laid in the future?

Yeah DUR DUR DUR
Was this the fucking book where he said that seeing The Hulk on movie screens would literally change people's DNA to turn them into superheroes who could accomplish those feats?

He's a New Age idiot. Still the second-best writer in the genre. Has been regurgitating the same stuff for 25 years tho

>Iron Man comes out in 2008
>smart phones gain mainstream popularity in 2008
smart phones don't get nearly enough hype as literal future tech

That's typical. Whenever some new technology works people immediately begin taking it for granted and ignoring it.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AI_effect
>"It's part of the history of the field of artificial intelligence that every time somebody figured out how to make a computer do something—play good checkers, solve simple but relatively informal problems—there was chorus of critics to say, 'that's not thinking'."
>"Every time we figure out a piece of it, it stops being magical; we say, 'Oh, that's just a computation.'"

>medicine and technology makes people supeheroes

How? Because they're really good at using needles which cause autism?

By this logic, Morrison's original quote doesn't apply to modern day either.

>Wanting a potential Sup Forums poster getting drunk with power and destroying things he doesn't like

Once you do it for a couple months it becomes habit. It's the hard part but it's also the fundamentally important part. People can do it, YOU can do it, and it's not as hard as you're telling yourself it is. Not that I'm judging, you do you and fuck making excuses, it's your life man live it like you want, don't let anybody pressure you. But if you want to change a bad habit, it CAN be done. Just takes a little belief and a touch of willpower. Once you've seen how possible it is to change, you'll start changing all sorts of things you didn't like about yourself. You might fall back into old habits when you're down, but you can always fix your shit again.

I'm going to take up the mantel and become the first. There's a gang selling heroin in the ghetto nearby so i'm going to put on some bright blue tights and use my martial arts skills to kick their weapons out of their hands and arrest them. Wish me luck!

What? No, because he's talking about modifying normal people to give them superpowers.
>By this logic, Morrison's original quote doesn't apply to modern day either.
How does that follow? I honestly don't understand where your train of thought went here.

Are you implying that Iron Man has anything to do with the release and popularity of smart phones?
Are you as stupid as Morrison, who only conects dots after the facts and lacks any capacity of real analysis and insight?

Not that user but I guess that because they aren't "super", they're simply using what's available for everybody.

>Implying

Usani Bolt is probably faster than a number of super heroes.

Holy shit, that's a great idea!
I too am presently depressed, angry, and hate my life. This is the perfect solution!
Thank you, user! When the police catch up to me I will be sure to mention you when I recount my origin story.
I need only a nom de guerre and accompanying dramatis personae.

They cannot build non-lethal escalators. China is a third world country that gets by via being Big and cutting corners whenever they possibly can.

Anything they put into Space isn't coming back down in one piece.

>tfw won't live to see Superman become the 52nd President

>muh future chinese hegemony

China's bubble has already stopped expanding. Worries about China are exactly like worries about Japan in the 80's.

We don't have anywhere near enough supervillains to make heroing interesting irl.

Exactly the case
Let's brainstorm ideas for a gimmick.
Personally, couldn't catch me dead in a clownsuit. They're way overdone.
The easiest thing from the comics to replicate is unironically the Riddler, at least if you're good with riddles. Just send one to your local PD. They'll dismiss you as a crazy the first time around, so you should make that one pretty easy, so they'll solve it in hindsight after you strike. Then you'll have to make them really convoluted.
But, obviously, the Riddler's already a comic character. We need original villains for this modern age!

Fortunately for China they've got enough forex reserves that they can spend their way out of extreme market shocks and debt issues and their focus on their rising internal demand means that they have a fall back market unlike Japan. Unfortunately for China any sort of market shock would pretty much tank any growth for at least the short term as they try to keep their economy stable. Outside of that China's biggest issues are wealth disparity, real estate, private debt, and infrastructure.

There ARE people who dress up like Superheroes/villains

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_Jones

and corruption. And pollution.

China isn't going to be in any trouble, no, but with the slowing of their steel industry, they just aren't going to see the kind of huge growth they used to. Which is good because frankly, China may be over industrializing and doing it too quickly.

Considering how Mike Pence is more well-adjusted and tactful than Trump by miles, him as our country's leader just means we're going to have another Nixon or Reagan. And that's assuming he's not incriminated by Mueller's systematic interrogation of the Trump Transition Team.

>not wanting a nigga with lightning powers to run the country

most serial killers are pretty much batman villains.

john wayne gacy was pretty much the joker
>clown, punk rock minions, raping and murdering little kids

charles manson
>hippie, x on forehead, murders, cult leader

zodiac killer
>riddles, costume, murders

jack the ripper
>costume, secret id, murder, riddles

Modern Supervillains

>'Da Hood
'Da Hood is the name of an organization and an individual. A cult/cult leader, Da Hood promotes anarchy, self indulgence, lawlessness, and irrational behavior. Similar to a modern age Bacchus, Da Hoods revels often leave the communities where it takes root in shambles. Da Hood holds particular enmity for former members who escape, often engaging in public shambling and vandalism against those who leave the cult.

>White Knight
A supreme gentleman of southern valor, White Knight is the polar opposite (and frequent enemy of) Da Hood. With pretensions to gentility and culture, White Knight fashions himself as a hero of the people, but champions values left behind centuries ago. In particular, his views on race and the roles of women (who are to be protected and kept in the household, but treated with the utmost demeaning 'respect'). His powers are granted to him by his magical fedora helm

The anti-corruption purges actually did a pretty decent job of cutting out higher level government corruption; whether or not it's going to be a permanent thing after Xi Jinping leaves office is a different matter. They're starting to tackle pollution so it's a matter of waiting and seeing if they'll do enough. A bigger issue is water quality and access, a huge chunk of China's current and upcoming infrastructure projects is getting water to the cities and more arid parts of the country.

The only reason why China's steel industry is what it is today is because the government basically kept dumping money into it.

Most serial killers aren't, actually. And John Wayne Gacy had nothing to do with the Joker, except he dressed as a clown for charity a couple of times.
The funny thing is that this is actually the typical Morrison MO of picking 2 or 3 things that work for your narrative and completely ignore the million things that prove it wrong.

>after Xi Jinping leaves office
Didn't he just get reconfirmed for like another decade?

But yeah, China will do well simply due to sheer bloody minded determination and saying "fuck you" to good sense, restraint, and the free market.

When China doesn't like what it's stock market is doing, it literally just shuts it down - immediately. And says "no, go home. Come back tomorrow".

There was one week where they did this EVERY day because sell-offs kept happening

Will any other superheroes appear? Will I finally be bitten by a radioactive dung beetle, becoming the hero Beetleman?

How often do scientists even get into lab accidents?

I am scared of China being a power solely for this reason. Like I don't know chinese to get by in the future. Its going to fucking kill me. These guys are ahead of renewable energy sources and non renewables as well.

They are fucking king.

Not very often. Lab safety is taken really seriously. And when it does, the result is rarely between "minor injury requiring some medical attention" and "radioactive death."

most serial killers are actually.
gacy used the guise of a clown to lure victims. he worked wuth a group of punk rock kids that helped him commit crimes.

he was very much a real world version of a joker
of course he has nothing to do with the joker as in he popped out of the pages. but it's a super villain in the style of batman villains if there ever was any.

you're working with the narrative of ignoring a lot of big concepts and things that they have in common and try to pretend there's a million reasons why it doesn't work.

>oh joker is thin and gacy was fat so it's obviously doesn't work.
>ignoring both are clown ciminals

obviously there's going to be differences, but serial killers have motifs and motives close in ideas to what a comic book villain is, especially slightly closer to batman villains because they're more grounded than darkseid.

>gacy used the guise of a clown to lure victims. he worked wuth a group of punk rock kids that helped him commit crimes.
Dude, you need to read a bit more about Gacy. And by that I mean actually read proper sources and not clickbait articles. Most of Gacy's victims came to him through his contracting business. He only used the clown disguise for charity work.
If you're gonna look for a "motif" on Gacy, it would be his repressed homosexuality. The clown shit had absolutely nothing to do with it and it was only exploited by sensationalist media that get suckers like you with that kinda headlines.
90% of serial killers are nothing but frustrated sad fucks.

>They can make entire skyscrapers in just a few weeks/days
Which they do entirely for propaganda reasons and most of those buildings end up empty and falling apart because no one uses them.

Gacy didn't use the guise of a clown to lure victims, he targeted almost exclusively runaways, travelers, and rentboys.

That's the power of a command economy, massive government subsidies, outright government control of companies, and a blatant disregard for workplace safety and environmental regulations that'd give the USSR pause.

That honestly sounds worse than Pence and Trump. He would basically be Bush 2.0 (or 3.0 if we're getting technical)

I don't want to be a serial killer! I want to rob banks and blow up corporate office buildings and stuff, and self-publish copies of a long, rambling manifesto.
Shit, I guess the Unabomber is a real-life supervillain.

You know universal translators will be readily available in about 5 years, right? Don't sweat it.

Spree murderers and terrorists are actually more similar to comic book villains than serial killers, because they usually do have a goal, a single motivation that drives their whole course of action.
Unabomber being some sort of genius that left society to live alone in the woods and become an enemy to the state or even shit like the Waco siege or Jim Jones are much more like a comic book villain that some repressed homosexual cruising at night and occasionally killing his pickups.

I highly doubt that.

I got one: National Anathema. You can wear an American flag themed costume, like an evil terrorist Captain America.

I guess I should've said mass murderers instead of spree ones.

Kind of a shitty demo, but here you go
youtube.com/watch?v=oQVQVt5H2QM

Not him, but it sounds like he at least sometimes dressed up as a clown while torturing / killing his victims even though he wasn't using his clown costume when initially luring them in.
biography.com/people/john-wayne-gacy-10367544
>Gacy lured his victims with the promise of construction work, and then captured, sexually assaulted and eventually strangled most of them with rope. When he killed, he sometimes dressed as his alter ego "Pogo the Clown."
That should be more than enough reason to consider him a supervillain. He also had that "rope trick" gimmick which he showed that one guy who was trying to do research on him when both were left alone in his prison cell (he used the guy's watch and a pencil to twist it around and cut off the circulation to his hand).