Alright Sup Forums, let's settle this

Do all superheroes have big dicks, or are some of them packing light?

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Doesn't matter what Peter's size is, his Spider powers are confirmed to make him a demon in the sack. Not like that fraud Reed, who uses his rubber dick as a crutch

only the ones with superhuman strength. it adds an extra lair of girth.

depends on the hero

>inb4 K-Box

in order of largest to smallest
- Hulk
- Thor
- Cap
- Spidey
- Tony

You forgot Carol

>that fraud Reed, who uses his rubber dick as a crutch
Victor please just because yours looks like it should be singing "If I Only Had a Heart"

>Not like that fraud Reed, who uses his rubber dick as a crutch

Hey, if I had his powers, I would do that and so much more. I'm talking tentacles here.

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Aquaman's probably got a decent size lap hog.

Considering you cannot see the bulge for most male heroes despite they wearing tight spandex, it is safe to assume micropenis

Stark probably has a decidedly average penis... but constantly talks it up while having a deep seated fear that it's smaller than other people's

>WELCOME Sup Forums, TO MY LAIR... OF GIRTH!

Hey Im not saying the guy doesn't thunder the Storm, but how hard can it be when she can bounce on you like a trampoline and your dick size is relative?

But what about Banner? Where's he in the ranking?

Hey man whatever gets the job done.

*blocks your path*

...

*notices your bulge*
(DwⱭ) what's this?

I like the idea that most heroes and villains are hung. It makes the idea of them having sex better. And it doesn't tear the women apart. These are comic books, everyone has the ideal body type.

Even the fat guys.

Renew Your Vows

It's never not impressive.

Not like you need a big dick to be good at sex. I get by just fine on an average cock. Hell, I've even been told I'm pretty good. I'd be lying if I didn't wonder what it's like to wield a 7-incher though.

>spidey sense going off
is hulk gonna rape him afterwards or is peter that insecure

>Peter relies on his powers not like that hack Reed who relies on his powers
Really Pete?

They just don't draw it, whenever they do every hero in spandex is packing a high caliber firearm.

It's fine until your cock touches the toilet water.

>Pete
>Ever talking shit about Reed
It's just your standard Doombot. Victor still owes Peter that favor though

Stamina/skill>>>rubber stretch dick/bounce house pelvis. Reed's got it on easy mode, Parker has to make sure he's not killing the poor woman.

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Ha, never thought of that before. Guess what they say about 6 inches being the "Goldilocks zone" for dicks is right. Not too big, not too small. Alas, I'm only 5 and a third.

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So he's having less fun too?

That is a common misconception. Hulk's penis is actually quite small for his stature hence why he is angry all the time. If his penis was actually portion to his stature, Hulk's penis would be swinging around wildly everytime Hulk runs or jump. The sheer superhuman strength of Hulk's massive gamma enhanced penis would destroy his tiny purple pants.

Asgardian males all have massive penis.

That joke would work if he wasn't banging alien chicks all the time.

Volstagg was quite handsome when he was still in his prime and cared about his appearance. Marriage led to the downfall of prime Volstagg and gave birth to the current fat Volstagg that you see before you.

The black ones do

I knew Peter Parker wasn't Spider-man!

>Parker I need pictures, pictures of Spiderman's dick. I have to make sure he's not secretly anyone in the office.

Packing light would be a better idea considering how much they fight.
I'd just assume it's slightly above average for regular people, but on him it looks miniscule.

>Old Lady only

Nah, he got curious and looked, but they Hulk might catch him, and kill him for looking.

Wrong on both Counts the actually showed Hulks Cock and it's huge. It's the issue where Tony and Hulk have to strip. The pixelization of Hulks dick was as thick as Tony's arm. Also the don't draw bulges because drawing of genital or the outline is consider pornographic.

>Spider-man's secret identity is ruined because of Jameson's policy of monthly penis inspections

Art tells us that their species clearly has cloacas on both sexes.

His ability to offer penetrative sex thanks to his mutation is the reason why Reeds is still married though.

Hulk
Thor
Cap
Peter
Clint
Tony

Yes I believe Clint has a bigger cock than Tony.

>- Tony
>Tony
-
>Don't bully!

The only one I'm sure is not a Thundercock is DOOM. He's probably average sized, but his crippling insecurity makes him think it's small. I mean, the guy is angry 24/7, and we're talking about a man who messed up his own face.

Plus, it'd add another layer to the whole "is mad at Reed because he secretly wants to be him" theme.

And it's not like Canon evidence points to anything like a Fassbender cock.

Isn't Volstagg supposed to be mighty down there as well?

For as many that are wearing skintight outfits with no bulge of any kind, some must be packing light.

I don't think Hulk has a large penis, at least not proportional to his body size.

Oh Billy, you semi-jailbait you.

Yeah, it's probably proportionally "average" for his body, which still makes it huge compared to a normal dudes junk.

Doom’s most definitely a Dicklet.

Cyclops vs Wolverine?

You can't see the Dong in between his legs so this proves nothing

Cyclops has a pristine 8 inch dick. It's straight as an arrow and has quite the helmet.

Sniktbub has a 5 inch dick, it's girthy though and has a thick foreskin. His pubes are wild and length.

Its erect.

>I've been told I'm pretty good
He doesn't know.

>Yes I believe Clint has a bigger cock than Tony.
Why do you guys hate Stark? Is it because of that one Stark!Dicklet spamming user?

Pretty sure they confirmed Wolverine is hung. There was a scene with Kitty.

Namor has a small dick.

>foreskin
kek, just realised he's the only one that has it, such a brainlet

>didn't get jewed
>lol wut a brainlet
Cope harder goy.

Reminder that Doom is also uncut since Euros haven't been jewed. Which means that folks like Captain Britain are also uncut.

On the subject of Captain Britain, Brian's definitely hung like a horse. I'm talking 7" of pure, flaccid, dangling meat.

Doom's still a dicklet though. If you're a Doomfag it's easy to headcanon him as Doom Thunderwang, but him being a dicklet adds to the comedic aspects, and I prefer that over wank, so...

Spidey's suit doesn't have pants. Everyone knows it's a one piece deal.
He has to drop the whole thing around his ankles when he needs to take a leak.

That makes more sense than everyone freaking out about a flaccid penis.

I think he meant the fact that he has healing factor means even if he gets circumcised it'll just grow back immediately.

Did Hilde ever tapped that ass?

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fat volstagg is a top bloke though

i need to see this now

Why are men so obsessed with their dicks?

There you go

Dick measuring has always been a fascination of men. Homo or not.

I'm not obsessed with my own dick, I'm obsessed with other people's because I'm a cock-hungry faggot

His little fish? Less outrageous.

Because everybody feels insecure about their dick. Figuring out who's got smaller makes you more confident. For example, Hollywood star Terrence Howard has a legit micropenis. Doesn't that info make you feel any better?

As for fictional characters, there are three categories: The self-inserts, who project themselves on the characters and headcanon them as perfect, and the smartest,and the biggest-dicked mother fuckers ever. The extreme self-inserts who project their character EXACTLY on the character,down to the dick size. The haters, who try to turn everyone they don't like into a dicklet.

>Terrence Howard has a legit micropenis

And Jamie Foxx and Fassbender have large cocks. Guess who I want to see sex tapes of? For me that's my thing, hot women getting fucked by large cocks.

Most logical answer in this thread. Insecurity and paranoia are the guy's two defining characteristics. Him being average and insecure about it to the point where he pretends it's big, makes sense within the canon.

superdickery.com begs to differ (no pun intended)

Foxx's isn't that big. Fassbender's is much bigger. Jon Hamm has a huge one as well. Plus Jared Leto and Affleck's got a good one. DaFoe has a monster cock.

Either way, when an average guy with an average dick finds out that these superstars have smaller dicks than him, it gives him a confidence boost, which is why you see so many men obsessed with the topic.

Sabretooth once called Wolverine a hairy little fireplug. I assumed he meant Wolvie's dick was short, but real thick.

>Ravioli Ravioli
>I want the Asgard loli

Would it technically be Snu-Snu?

Guess we know where Thor hangs his hammer.

So I know my sense of depth, proportion and perspective is awful, but isn't Logan awfully tall in that second-to-last panel compared to the girls?

Y'know, if Disney does get the rights to FF back for Marvel, they should have Fassbender be Doom.

Tumblr would throw a hissfit. Doom's canonically a Roma Gypsy. The latest issue of Gwenpool had him with completely brown skin (note the difference between him and the Doombot). Having a EuroGod like Fassbender play him would make the internet explode.

He's standing on his third leg.

How is it known Howard has a micropenis? And if it is micro, it still works. He's got about 80 kids! Fucker's got grandchildren even!

Because he's a celebrity? Unless he never gets naked and has been with one woman his entire life stuff like that gets out there, one way or another.

Well, he could always do blackface.

Ih his spider sense is tingling, he's sensing incoming danger, right?
Is the Hulk gonna rape Spiderman?

He showed it in that 50 Cent movie. Just google Terrence Howard Dick. It's barely visible, to the point where he might as well not even have one.

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Is this querstion inspired by mbmbam or is this just coincidence?
maximumfun.org/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-383-fins

>would make the internet explode.
Oh yeah how could the internet ever survive when tumblr and twitter riot.
Bitch please, they're easy to ignore. Disney simply doesn't because they have the same political interests.

It's called a dance belt. For increased freedom of movement and to make interacting with civilians less awkward.

I postulate that hulk HAS TO have a big cock. he is not the size of a really big human, he is suppoused to be a giant beyond human proportions so even if Bruce banner's dick was tiny, after transforming his cuck would be significantly bigger.
Superman also have a big cock because he is superman, he can do anything.
Reed (and any other character can alter their body at will) can have a big pennis.