Why does Sup Forums hate valerian so much? how is it compared to the source material?

why does Sup Forums hate valerian so much? how is it compared to the source material?

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Everyone kinda hated it

It bombed horribly

>source material?
I thought it was just random sci-fi like shark boy and lava girl but with an ugly chick

the artwork for the comic looks fun.

The casting for the two leads was terrible, but seeing them next to the comic characters they were based on drives home just how terrible.

i fucking had a blast watching it
It was so bad it made me angry and butthurt to laughter

how could a movie be so bad

it made the star wars prequels look like the godfather trilogy

Laureline wasn't cute enough, and the leads looked like the local college drug dealer and his girlfriend.

The movie hinged on the leads romantic chemistry.

They had none.

Cara is somehow more of a spoiled brat than the rest of hollywood

so what made it so bad?

horrible pacing, dogshit dialogue and a weird "colonialism is bad" message that hasnt been relevant SINCE the original comic came out

opening scene was kino though

Silly, Cara. That's not how you wear a thong.

...

>The hair and eyes on the movie versions
Just fuck my adaptation up.

its simple really. suspension of disbelief.
it set up how a super structure in space existed, how it got to where it was and has massive seperate ecosystems and each race specializing in basically what they are good at, money, tech being evil if your a human etc.

what it did not demonstrate was how two teenagers made it to the rank upper ranks of the military with the most super-badass skills that would only have come with decades of training.
The only mission we see them in they almost fuck upand lead to the death of several of their colleagues,
they also demonstrate how pointless their shitty human weapons are when direct hits with what can only be described as flesh-dog do nothing.
for no reason other then to show what a super chad the maincharacter is they give us the boy-wonders sexual history.
and because he decides in his bratty way, i want to be married, he tells the stacy-whore who walks around in a bikini in the fucking work environment "i want to marry you and i will get you because i decided"
when any of us beta's know if we were to be that much of a fucking wizard we'd be thrown out of the moron-military no matter how great, and charming and handsome and good at guitar and no-really-hes-just-so-great-hes-a-genius, we are.

its shit because they got shitty actors and a shitty script. to appeal to shitty people for shitty reasons.

cool idea, visuals were nice.
but i remember when watching it thinking "this looks cool but if this person was actually doing this...wouldnt he have just fucked up?"

like when hes shooting at a ship that has an ancient artifact on, missing and hitting the station. "no brah, im aiming to damage" There is NO FUCKING WAY you could predict their movements to a degree you would garuntee a limping ship that safely glides to a stop as opposed to a pilot freaking out and crashing his ship into the nursey section of some xeno habbitat zone.

"it looks cool" is not enough for a shit film to be good.

Luc Besson is a pedo hack

How would you compare to with 5th element

I went into it expecting a euro-space comic and I got a movie of a euro-space comic.
I actually really enjoyed it but will fully admit the acting and plot were kinda shit, but like I said, I knew what I was getting into. I was there for the visual elements and the setting which both were what I loved.

Re-reading reviews of the 5th element from the time it came out, it was shit on quite a bit. Honestly I think this film may age better with time, and while I dont expect it to be ever as highly regarded as 5th element, I can see it finding its place.

I have a collection of the first couple Valerian comics and honestly they aren't anything to write home about. They are early stories though so I don't really judge the entire comic because of it. Movie is vastly different in tone and setting from them, (being just space police is pretty different from time police), but I still dug it.

Cara looks like a man. A brushy eyebrowed man. And the guy whose never I don't even care to google, I hated him because of the retarded Keanu Reeves voice he was doing for some reason.

valerian and laureline are way older, they are not teen special agents.

the movie take ideas from at least 2 graphic novels.

the entire scene of rihana and the fat savage aliens is COMPLETELY irelevant, remove it and nothing change. it was only added for a nod to the graphic novel, rihana and making laureline (a model IRL) walk down a runway.

i almost cried at the first scene when the space station expand and the aliens are greeted as brothers. unfortunatly, the rest is....beautiful to look at, thats it.

Cara is a good supermodel but doesn't seem to be a good actor. She's great in vid related but there's a noticeable masculinity to her charm. She's pretty androgynous imo. Also worth noting the video is mostly her channeling a model rather than an actor.

youtube.com/watch?v=qmV5MW_XAtg

Also she's gay and can't into male love interests. Some people can't fake it, she's one of those people.

samefag.
She's not totally gay, shes more like pansexual but she's definitely more masculine than feminine and seems to prefer women. Maybe she's plain bad at on-screen romance. Idk. Is there anything she's been good in? Her enchantress was ok in the first few scenes of Suicide Squad but the weird bellydancing parts were awful.

dane dehaan is handsome.

source material sucked balls and the only KIDS that liked where horny little 13 year old shits who at the time couldn't get their hands on French nudes

It's not a matter of them not looking like the characters it's a matter of casting shitty fucking actors who can't act.

I didn't see it solely because the trailer made it look like a CG shitshow. I got a headache from that alone

>pedo
PFFFFT! Americans.

Valerian - comic book: Bumbling, brave do-gooder, tries to do it by the book, rather a nice guy.

Valerian - movie: so full of himself he's ready to burst. More hormones than a frat house. Fully loves the military, yet ignores the rules all the time just because.

Laureline - comic book: slighly smarter than her male partner, social and flirty, hates the rules and oppressors in general, often too brave for her own good.

Laureline - movie: Disney heroine. Virgin who rejects all men, utterly by the book, loyal to the regiment, until she figures out the truth. Constantly tells Valrian to do this and that, gets annoyed when he ignores her.

It's my favorite movie of the year besides Song to Song

>We'll never get an Emphyrio movie

I don't like the plot and the cast, and the blue aliens are disgusting, could be something like the 5th element but no

Why do movies need to be believable when some people enjoy the escapism into a sci fi world that doesnt need to make sense?

>Movie is vastly different in tone and setting from them
>and setting
The setting as well the general premise of the movie is from the comics.

The thing about being believable, you are or you aren't.
It is fine to say superman can fly and be super strong with lazor eyes, but when you say he is strong because his people lived on a higher gravity planet, he can fly because the air is less dense than where he people evolved, and the lasers are stored solar energy it goes to being stupid.
Trying to explain so much of the background of the universe just made it more apparent how stupid the non-explained parts are.

i liked it. in fact, the very opening of this movie almost made me cry because the optimistic and cool spirit of other worldly exploration and understanding was so good to finally see again after sci-fi has been so dower, pessimistic and stupid for the last 10 years.

>Laureline: "Don't underestimate a woman!"
>constantly gets herself into shit by acting like an idiot and is always screaming for Valerian's help

Fifth Element became a cult classic for the same reason all cult classics do, interesting characters doing wacky shit. Valerian has some cool visuals but none of the characters are charismatic or memorable except maybe Rihanna, who's barely in it.

I think people have somehow deluded themselves into thinking that Valerian and Laureline were cool and nice characters, when they were idiots.

The casting was perfect.

The dude actually can but he has a thing called a range, which the director was apparently unaware of

How limited the range of this shmuck is if he can't perform in an comic-book adventure flick?
This was never a demanding psychological drama for Pete's sake.

the first 10 minutes was the best part of the movie and the two lead actors were awful, they had no chemistry. I thought they were siblings at first

>Whole scene dedicated to how amazing Dane Dehaan's GI Joe suit is
>It smashes through an entire space station
>Cara has the same suit
>She gets captured by alien rednecks ans held hostage in a wooden cage

I walked out

> thought they were siblings at first

I swear they went outta their way to find the two actors who look exactly the same.

She was too masculine and he wasn't masculine enough.

Welcome to post-modernity I guess.

>why does Sup Forums hate valerian so much?

Stop making this thread. Or just ask if Sup Forums liked it instead of assuming we’re Sup Forums.

Never seen the source material but the movie wasn't that great.

Character and world designs? Fantastic
World building? Not so subtle exposition most of the time explaining it
Plot? SUPER not so subtle explaining it 2-3 times over like the audience is fucking 6 year olds

It's not unwatchable but it ain't ever gonna be the next 5th Element.

Dana Dehan fucked Besson for the role, right? Because that's the only explanation of how he got the role. Delememe has her rich family connections.

The first 30 minutes were great. After Cara gets kidnapped it gets stupid.

>Cara Delememe

>opening scene was kino though
THIS. I went back and re-watched it a while ago and the first 15 - 20 min are considerably better than I remembered and I got hyped thinking I'd just gotten memed prior to watching it in the theaters.

And eventually I just turned it off out of boredom maybe 3/4 of the way through ... the last half being even more of a slog than I remembered. It's the reverse of 5th Element where it just gets worse when you already know what's coming.

I can't believe how they completely erased Laureline's history. She's supposed to be an 11th Century Gaul.

Valerian was also nowhere near his jocky, overconfident self, and I didn't buy a single thing either of these actors said, ever. Like, there's a marriage proposal 6 minutes into the story, some suspenseful romance that was.

Dane, we know you frequent Sup Forums. Fuck off.

Good setting and proper animation and visuals.
Plot was kinda meh but not bad.
They absolutely ruined it with miscasting.
Ok yes Cara is a bad actor but we know that already. Main dude was an absolute trainwreck who constantly mumbled and seemed like an annoyed teenager who rather would be at the local mall parking listening to grunge or whatever.
What a tosser.
The rest of the human cast wasn't much better.
Villain didn't really make an impression and I can't remember a single other human.
Rihanna was forgettable too. The only thing I remember about her was me thinking "oh thats Rihanna"

...

>WE NEED THEM TO EMOTE EASILY,
>Never mind that that never was a problem in the comic

The comics do get better I believe. I've read like 6 stories and while I was a bit disappointed with the series at first I think I'll thoroughly enjoy what's coming up.

#1 The City of Shifting Waters - 6/10
#2 Empire of a Thousand Planets - 7/10
#4 Welcome to Alflolol - 7/10
#5 Birds of the Master - 6/10
#6 Ambassador of the Shadows - 8/10
#7 On the False Earths - 10/10

I loved On the False Earths, but I noticed that it can get a mixed response. It would not be a good way to start the series, because it's an atypical story. I'd suggest starting with #2, then read #6 and then #7. If you've seen the movie (which is based on Ambassador of the Shadows, but the comic is better) you could read On the False Earths right away.

The comic has been around for decades. There are dozens of volumes.

The City of shifting waters is a weak start to the series. Number 2 is already better. Also, not the ACTUAL start. The very first album introduces Laureline and her medieval origin.

shit movie, shit cast, shit acting. they are both dicks and total careless soulless loser psychopaths, their first team get mauled by a fucking giant alien dog and they just shrug it and fuck, plus rhiana, why? why waste millions to have a shit actor? recognition? it was dead before it started, the visuals were great.

they did have some good ideas, i liked the video game dimension world, plus the illegal alien narrative (she died and nothing happened), shame they dint go deeper into it, it might have gone full blade runner.


TLDR it Hollywood saw guardians of the galaxy was doing great so they wanted to try and make a clone but they rushed it because they wanted it as soon as possible and ruined it.

now its just a shell and their lost opportunities will be used in MY comic hahahah

>The very first album introduces Laureline and her medieval origin.
Yup, usually referred to as #0. I haven't read it yet, but I expect it to be worse than the other albums I've read so far.

I think Cinebook, the publisher of Valerian in English, made the wrong decision to highlight the early stories (#0, 1 and 2) with this Complete Collection that they released. And it was The City of Shifting Waters that was made available online to read for free, and it gives a completely wrong impression of what the Valerian series is about. That story has some of the worst art, takes place entirely on earth (and in earth's orbit), and has some of the worst writing.

French comics are just shit no amount of nudity can make them better

It was just incredibly boring.
The setting and visuals were too notch, but the story was lame, predictable, and has already been told a million times. Which probably wouldn't have been much of a problem if at least the characters were good, funny or interesting, but they weren't, bland as a rock. I liked the three little aliens way more than the protags

>The setting and visuals were too notch

Do you actually need more than this? I feel like almost no movies actually have good writing. Saying it has a good setting and visuals is basically saying it's a good movie.

i want to cum inside her eyebrows

it's french though. french content doesn't count.

Hon hon hon

Depends on the movie, some movies revolve around the visuals and don't need much of a plot. But something like this needed more then that because the characters were all horrible and this day and age there are so many CGI-heavy movies that's not enough to make it entertaining anymore.

he has a school shooter aura around him, only he is handsome

But that's why I like him. He brings the edge to every movie. I loved hearing all his lines in ASM2.

Worked great in Chronicle.

>valerian looks nowhere near as young as the guy playing him in the movie
>laureline's hair isn't even red

What dumbass was responsible for this?

You mean The Incal: The Movie?

The comics are what Star Wars was stolen from.

cause the chick is a unlikable cunt, the guy does so much for her and she treats him like shit