What kind of porn does Superman fap to?

What kind of porn does Superman fap to?

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Classy porn

>implying Superman faps

Super porn

Like regular porn but super

Dominantion/BDSM

Even if Superman faps, its probably to his wife

Cuckhold porn of his wife fucking Clark Kent.

Lois, of course. He doesn't just spy on her in the shower, he's constantly X-Raying her throughout the course of her usual day. With her permission, of course.

And, on the rare occasions where Clark's stuck on monitor duty at the Watchtower and it's a slow day, she gives him a special "show" just to tease him.

Isn't masturbation impossible/unheard of in the DCU?

Masturbation doesn't exist within the DC Universe. Even within the Imprints. Although there are jokes that imply masturbation, it is still stated by DC Reps that it doesn't exist

this

Missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation.

Stop bringing that up.

He can just look at whatever woman he wants to with his x-ray/telescopic vision. He has access to the most HD voyeur stuff possible with his eyes.

Wholesome porn of two married people making love to each other in missionary position.

How do I achieve DCU mode no-fap?

>What kind of porn does Superman fap to?
pornhub.com/playlist/54481781

Don't tell Lois

That's Lex's playlist, though.

/thread

Lex confirmed for shit taste.

Lex Luthor like his women like his cakes-- big, chocolate, and over forty.

Hes probably into sick shit like scat and ebony. Seemingly nice and well eounded people have sick fetishes

He doesn't need porn.

Underrated post

and that's awesome

So THAT'S why their heroes are more successful than Marvel's.

>Baby, you're my forever girl.

You stole that joke

But it is a good joke

His cousin

Vanilla doujin

...

>Even within the Imprints
I seem to recall constintine having a fap in a hotel room.

Do you think Lois ever pulls out a chunk of kyptonite and drains all of Superman's power, tying him down to the bed post and riding him nonstop for hours as the man is helpless to stop it, orgasming an untold amount of times as the woman demands more and more with a libido that none can comprehend eventually requiring more depraved events to get off leading to kryptonite nipple clamps, cock rings and butt plugs which emasculates clark to the point of almost crying every night but it's gotten to the point that he can only get off on being humiliated by her and can't even pop a boner without at least 5 inches of kryptonite shoved up his ass?

Super Vanilla porn.

He doesn't cause he knows that porn is bad for you and masturbation gives you death grip syndrome

No.

They hold hands instead.

Go back to r/nofap, scum.

I'd like to think that superman has a tiny shard of kryptonite (enough to give him tickles) that Lois uses to stimulate his tip of the penis

He faps to softcore scenes in movies with good plots to accompany.

Damn Lois is T H I C C

Jesus Christ

>x-ray vision
he doesn't need porn

Wow, that's amazing

Impregnation. Guy really wants to bring Krypton back.

Came here to post this

Power girl

...

>fap
No one faps in DC

So the same thing Batman and Wonder woman are into. Is that why the trinity became friends so fast? They are a bunch of sexual deviants? No wonder hey have no other superfriends.

He's too busy being a self righteous twat and fucking Lois

>being this jealous about MILF Lois

lois does it for him. because of silver age thirst being transmitted through hypertime. she is a total freak in the sheets and ready 24/7. she probably has the grip strength to palm a bowling ball and snap pencils with her secret citadel.

This would be hilarious
Holy shit Ben looks so good here. It sad to see how much the boozed JUST'd him.

This. He has a wife that lets him creampie her.

Pic unrelated? That's Ultraman, bruh.

Rich fucks like Wayne really need some sick shit to get off, don’t they?

With out of this world hand holding

I honestly want to picture that but Clark is just too responsible to depower himself without a damn good reason.

Now, if you were to start with some Silver Age bullshit that transfers all his powers to Br^H^HLe^Hois for kinky dominance games, I’m OK with it.

MILF Lois?

>taking a jest as gospel

The sounds of women (some of which are probably on the JL) moaning his name while they masturbate.

What? Have you been living under a rock?

Let me guess. Invincible is your favorite comic?

yes

Oh shit! We were so distracted by the details of Superman's sex life we didn't notice we were being trolled by Earth-3!

i only know of marthaaaaaaaaa

He doesn't.

But if he wanted to or needed to, he wouldn't need to resort to porn. There's very little that isn't open to him from the real world, but he makes the conscious choice to avoid those type of things absent harm or risk that he might be able to help with.

nigga, if I was married to lois I'd be balls deep in that no matter which day of the week it was!

The nude selfies Livewire sends him.

I like it.

Can mera make water bindings strong enough that arthur can't break out of them?

What's this?

Who the hell said anything about wayne.

Superman hasn't nutted since Jon was conceived Nigga went 1000 years in one story

1000 years

>lets
>implying it's not her vying for his seed

I think a hanjie from Supes would blow your mind.

I've read several interviews where the writers were told specifically to remove things that involve masturbation. It just seems like it's something that they want to avoid. But I mean, like I said there are several jokes and maybe even more that may have slid by editors. It's something they've said a few times and I don't know why I'd need to disagree with it.
I really don't know man, maybe it got passed by or the writer fought for it immensely and got away with it. I remember a moment in an interview with Neil Gaiman, he said he was told that there was no jaggin off in the DCU, so he had to remove some portion of an Issue of Sandman he was doing at the time.

this is almost seishoujo tier femdom

He films his own porn with Big Barda.
t. John Byrne

He doesn't need porn. Anytime supes gets bored of lois, he probably just cucks scott with barda and leaves it in scott's room for him to cry over.

You didn’t know Wayne is Superman? It’s the worst kept secret ever.

>Wayne
>that scrawny bitch

Nice try Mr Skeletal.

Everybody knows superman is Bob from accounting

>masturbation gives you death grip syndrome
It makes me listen to shitty nu-metal?

Death grip is when you masturbate so much that when you fuck a real pussy you don't feel a thing IIRC

imperiuskek.jpeg

That only happens if you masturbate too much or use a bad grip and stroke. That website made that meme to sell fleshlights.

Supes only does some Vanilla, iwth a couple of kinks on the side. The real question is however; what kind of porn does Jon fap to?

literally who

Why would Jon do that when his dad can hear him?

how else could he keep his identity secret other than being a literal no one.

4th post best post

They have super hearing user. Supes fly around all day long hearing the sounds of women all over the world sticking all manners of object up their hoo-haas pretending it's Superman's dong. I'm sure he will teach his son the birds and the bees and all that.
Plus Jon has that Martian girl Kathy, and you know those Martians are into all kinds of freaky shit

furry traps

Kathy isn't a martian

What is she then? 'Cause I sure as fuck don't remember what the whole deal with Hamilton was. They were all ayyys at least right?

Cosplay parodies. Actually, the Superman II porn parody is really good...

Considering the fact that superman is the nicest guy ever he watches the nicest most vanilla porn where the women are clean (no tatoos, heavy makeup, hooker heels, degrading language) and respected (no slaping, spitting, rough acts, degrading acts, ect) and safe sex is practiced

>Implying Lex and Supes didn't bond over their shared love of brown sugar and chocolate lovin

Silver Age Supes would like to have a word with you.