BENDISSS~~!!!

Defenders #9 Storytime

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>17 year running gag is not easy to pull of
What does he mean by this?

So happy Marquez is moving on to Wolverine and not wasting time on this fucking book for much longer.

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Unironically, I think he's admitting to pedophilia.

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5...

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>A countdown in a Bendis thread
user, you're scaring me

...3

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Fuck You, Bendis

Christ

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ha! love this.

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>your metal arm seems weird to me
My dude, listen, your husband is best friends with a dude who punches people with glowing fists and you used to have a crush on a guy named after a fucking spider. Don't come at Misty with that metal arm weirdness bullshit.

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....how the fuck did Diamondback get three of the Masters of Evil to work for him?

OH.MY.GOD. I just realized Deadpool is on the cover too. Ugh, go away.

what kind of douchebag draws himself in the book? and with powers..

Big if true

Because Bendis

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how does this fit with venom inc?

>Our reps are going to skyrocket because we took out some low-level superheroes!
What the actual fuck? Fixer was a goddamn Master of Evil with Baron Zemo! How much higher does his rep need to be? Same with Moonstone! Titania was married to Absorbing Man who fought Hulk and Thor!

What the actual fucking fuck, Bendis!?

Bendis

>The Hood
ARE WE SERIOUSLY DOING THIS FUCKING SHIT AGAIN?!

Bendis always had this running gag of random crazy people being bringing in by cops and shouting meta speeches in police stations

Isn't Fixer good now?? Thunderbolts and all??

You haven't read Iron Man the last two issues either have you? Hood's in that too. HOOD EVERYWHERE.

He and Moonstone sided with Zemo in the prelude to Secret Empire.

I thought he joined Zemo's MoE during Secret Empire. along with all the other Thunderbolts?

STOP FUCKING PUSHING THE HOOD! HE'S NOT THAT FUCKING INTERESTING! SON OF CUNT!

Bendis giving one last middle finger to the symbiotes he hates so much

I thought the running gag was all his characters spouting nonsensical bullshit.

He's talking about his career.

This completely clashes with Venom Inc. That *also* was the reason Black Cat turned good again
I hate this, it's like none of the Marvel editors or writers interact with each other

BUT WHERE ARE THE BIG BOUNCY TITS!!!??

Is this seriously another issue with Misty and Danny and they just flat out ignore each other? Marvel pls

As a conman?

My bad. Thanks.

Didn't Echo get killed by Count Nefaria?

It's not that Marvel writers don't talk to each other, it's that Bendis blatantly doesn't read any books that he hasn't written and chooses to ignore them. Hell, I'm pretty sure he's ignored his own continuity a few times during his career.

He's trying to be self-deprecating. This isn't that hard to understand, you guys.

Better question is how the fuck did he survive having an exploding knife go off right next to his head?

Bendis hates Venom, he'd do this story just out of spite

if I remember right their nonsense always had some kind of deeper meaning, for exemple characters in the ultimate universe spouting facts that didn't make any sense in the ultimate universe but did about earth 616

bendis heart attack when?

He did those unfunny jokes with DC plot points too.

To be fair, this arc started way before Venom Inc, and Bendis was already on his way to fixing Black Cat.

I'll give it to Bendis since he also restored her OG costume.

Still lame that they think a shirt and jeans passes for a superhero costume. Luke Cage just feels like a regular guy punching bad guys.

So... he did it of his own will or was commanded by higher-ups?

Self-defecating is more like it.

Somebody explain to me why the hell you would sell a drug that literally kills all your customers after a few seconds. Doesn't seem like a sustainable business model.

>He ain't gonna talk to me?
Why the fuck not? Why would Frank be more willing to talke to Jessica, somebody he doesn't know, than Luke, somebody he does know and has shown respect for in the past?

Unless your clientelle was immortal of course.

Diamondback was about to explain it a few issues ago, but Luke Cage interrupted him by saying he doesn't care. There's only one issue left, so I doubt Bendis will resolve that, assuming he ever intended to.

Bendis assumes that any non-A-List villains that aren't his pets must be losers, and believes that every single one of them is obsessed with street cred.

So with only one issue left, suddenly the Hood is this book's final boss with almost no set-up.
You can tell that Bendis had more arcs planned, but after he jumped ship he didn't bother changing the plot for his last few issues.

>draws himself

WRITES. Bendis isn't the fucking artist.

>tee-hee-hee

There is absolutely no reason for Fixer, Titania, or Moonstone to care about Luke, Danny, Jess, and/or Matt. None. At all. I mean, sure, Fixer and Moonstone have history with Cage during the Boss Cage era of Thunderbolts, but even then, why would they bother with him again?

>Rules are different now
>Game's changed
WHY DOES BENDIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAVE HIS CRIMINALS SAY THIS?
What does it even mean? None of Bendis' criminals EVER actually do anything differently, they always do the exact same damn thing: proclaim themselves to be the new boss and fight against superheroes.

BATMAN by Brian Michael Bendis

There’s a new villain in Gotham. He’s a young, up and coming gangster, he’s had enough with the current status quo.

He begins: I’m the boss here now. We’re under new management. I’m telling you, this is how things are going to be: NEW RULES in this house. MY RULES. We’ll branch out. Take over Gotham, one neighbor after the other. Nobody is going to stop us. This time, we make the city our own. Anyone messes with us? We kill him.

Gordon? We kill him.

The Bat? We. Kill. Him.

To punctuate the meeting, New Boss attacks and kills B-Listman. Now we know he’s a man we have to be afraid of.

New Boss has a new drug that will make the streets go crazy… Kryptonian growth hormone. Whatever the hell that is.

Nightwing shows up. He makes a joke. The punchline is “Blue Beetle is lame”. Because Blue Beetle is a not an A-Lister, he doesn’t deserve respect, y’see. Also he dresses like a Blue Beetle. LAUGH YOU SHEEP.

The Penguin uses the word “SEXY” to describe a crime, before being taken out of commission.

Here comes Killer Moth. He’s funny, everyone laugh at him!

Crossover issue. Superman is in Gotham. He faces a drug dealer. The drug dealer says “Y'know, I didn’t believe you actually existed!”

Batgirl talks to Bruce. “Why do I have to be BatGIRL? It feels so unfair!” After that, a comic site runs an article: BENDIS THE FEMINIST FIGHTS THE GOOD FIGHT FOR US ALL

Here comes Killer Moth again. He probably has a serious mental disorder. Also, he’s funny, everyone laugh at him.

Batgirl faces New Boss. She’s beaten to a pulp in a weirdly sexual manner to prove what a badass he is. After that, nobody talks about it.

New Boss fights Batman. New Boss screams “IT’S DONE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU LEFT ME WITH NO CHOICE. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF,” regardless if it makes sense or not in context.

New Boss is defeated, turns into a massive crying snivelling bitch. Twelve issues later he comes back, and we’re supposed to still see him as a badass.

>all these twitter shills

I am sure people are pirating this, but the sales for the book are shit right now.

06/17 Defenders #1 - 64,253
06/17 Defenders #2 - 46,158 (-28.2%)
07/17 Defenders #3 - 35,763 (-22.5%)
08/17 Defenders #4 - 31,120 (-13.0%)
09/17 Defenders #5 - 28,489 (- 8.5%)
10/17 Defenders #6 - 49,601 (+74.1%)
11/17 Defenders #7 - 23,133
12/17 Defenders #8 - 22,211

That's probably why they chose to just cancel Defenders instead of just get a new writer.

>I did not agree to this!
What did Jessica mean by this? She is a superhero, who joined a super-team, and came here for the express purpose of fighting Diamondback, a super-villain who takes drugs that give him super-powers. What the fuck did she expect?

>Why not Cage? You did!
Except that Luke was framed for a crime he didn't commit, whereas Black Cat was an actual criminal who then upgraded to being a mob boss who commanded murderous underlings. Not really the same thing.

Has Strange talked to these guys about calling themselves Defenders yet?

Felicia got punched in the face and decided she was going to be evil, why can't she get out of bed and decide she's good again?

every defenders book aside from the original gets the axe at 12 issues.

>Has Strange talked to these guys about calling themselves Defenders yet?
Bendis had this to say in an early interview

>Also coming up down the line — members of Marvel’s original Defenders team (which consisted of members including Doctor Strange, Hulk, Silver Surfer and Valkyrie) getting involved with the new squad. “They may not be thrilled that their name is being poached,” Bendis said. “Look for some Defender-on-Defender action down the line. Not in the first storyline. Look for the long-overdue Jessica Jones vs. Silver Surfer, the Hulk and Valkyrie fight.”

Either he was lying through his teeth like he often does in these interviews where he talks about things that will happen in his books that then never happened, or his plans were altered after he decided to go over to DC.

It's clearly a really bad joke. He had no intention of ever addressing it.

When else has Bendis done this?

Very Bendis-y but still quite enjoyable, and the art is fantastic.

Plus Black Cat got kinda unfucked, that counts for something, right?

Why the fuck is Bendis pushing The Hood so much?
It baffles me how he gets seemingly out of nowhere, becomes this big scary lord of crime, disappears for years, and now resurfaces?

I did like him in Remender's Punisher though and truth be told I think he's cool

Felicia is white and pure, while cage is a nigger, she'll always be better.

In his appearence in Foolkiller he was a fucking joke.

Bendis really likes him.

Bendis run in a nutshell. DC will be unbearable for the next decade.

So, is it official? Felicia is back to the good guys? Is Bendis giving the middle finger to Slott?

Who is the bigger cancer, Bendis or Slott

Same shit. Bendis is breast cancer while Slutt is prostate cancer.

I'm beyond certain that he had some lame hero vs hero event in mind before jumping ship. It's one of his biggest trademark storylines.

To be fair, Venom Inc isn't a shining example of a well thought out story either.

>the reason Black Cat turned good again
Thick and strong symbiote cock

Just because The Hood calls himself the new Kingpin doesn't mean he actually is.
He can bring people back from the dead, so what? That doesn't mean he controls the New York City underworld anymore than the Hand does.

>that sales dip
I mean, I know it's to natural that sales slightly dwindle, but it's not even ten issues in

That means slott? After all you can cut your breasts of...

I really dont like deadpool written by bendis so far.

Same can be said for the reason Black Cat became a crime lord in the first place. Apparently they think that rep is the ultimate thing to strive for no matter what your entire track record looks like

Think that's bad? Jessica Jones' outfit basically devolved into her Netflix cloths and apparently she's now forgotten she can fly and instead just jumps thanks to her lacking flight in the show

I fucking hate how Jessica Jones is getting all the spotlight over all these other street level characters

I like Misty and Colleen being back tho

Daredevil, just to give one example.