ASK A ROYAL NAVY SAILOR ANYTHING

I have stories about one legged vietnamese prostitutes, diplomatic incidents involving 8 hong kong police officers and a drunken stoker, tuk tuk racing in poo in the loo land, stolen bicycles, 5 star hotel orgys in dubai..etc etc

Other urls found in this thread:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8106103.stm
jpost.com/Breaking-News/Germany-plans-to-stop-migrant-boats-from-crossing-Mediterranean-472455
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

The Royal Navy accepts Satanism...

r-rule britannia, britannia rule the waves

Tell the story about the one legged prostitutes

We dont want to hear about your fetish user

Are you a poofter?

How many arse bandits do you know of on your ship?

What service branch are you a part of? I'm thinking of joining either as a seaman or Helicopter aircrew

In all seriousness though have you ever had the pleasure of fighting Somali pirates?

Will my anime history stop me from joining?

Tell me about the tuk tuks, why can't they hold more than 3 people.

How much buttsex do you partake on daily basis?

You guy are worse then the marines, you literally ruin woman.

-Us Navy Fag

If you can be emotionally manipulated into a sobbing mess by a slice of life anime drama about highschool girls you should probably just try and join the french foreign legion

Can I join? I have Brit citizenship from Dad. I'm 6ft3 though.

How many dicks have you sucked this week ?

u wot m8?

>ASK A ROYAL FAGGOT ANYTHING


Attention whore elsewhere cunt.
Reddit has a place for this sort of faggotry.

Favorite 2 of 3

>Rum
>Sodomy
>the Lash

>sailor
>ama

yeah no

Our Navy is better failed empire

Do you have women on your ships?
If not, do you fuck each other in the ass to get some release?
How often do you masturbate?

U ever do any gay stuff on the boat?

Why the fuck do you hate my country so much you couldnt even send a ship for our Navies 75th birthday?????

Thought we were cool Britain. Even Chile sent one.

Madras was brilliant, we raced tuk tuks, saw a dead dude in the dockyard, got naked in a 5 star hotel and ate the hottest and worst tasting curry ever.

Each day while going ashore we'd pass this corpse rotting under a pile of gash, we reported it a few times but the Indians did nothing about it. After a week or so we grew used to it and pissed up lads were lying down next to it for phots, sticking tabs in it's mouth and what not. To this day I now judge a place on how much of a shithole it is on two strict criteria:

1. Is there a dead body lying in a public place?

2. Did you see a three legged dog?

Madras scored highly on both counts.

A couple of lads were involved in a pretty horrific tuk tuk crash which saw the driver lose some fingers, I'm surprised more people didn't have crashes to be honest, the roads were lethal and for a few ickies, the driver would let you drive while totally hammered. We had some proper James Bond car chases with people jumping between moving vehicles at full speed and trying to surf on the roofs.

I recall being in a hotel that had a Harley dangling from the ceiling by a cable. We lifted one of the lads up to it and we all got thrown out while he sat suspended in the air making broom broom noises. We all piled into the elevator and someone called 'Naked Lift!'

As is traditional, we all stripped off totally bollocko. As the lift got to the hotel lobby, the doors opened and a family of tourists were waiting to get in. They decided the stairs would be a better option after being greeted by a dozen or so naked blokes with shit tattoos.

On the way back to the ship someone called 'Naked Tuk Tuk' and at one point there were about 6 Tuk tuks tearing through the streets of Madras with naked blokes sat in the back. The driver of our's was fucking terrified, I think he thought we were gonna rape him.

>ask me stories about how I served Zionism and gave into the degenerate influences straying further from the Lord sacrificing myself to Lucifer and not Jesus
Kek no thanks loser. Sage.

sucky sucky me rove u rong time five dorrah

yes, wrens or 'homewreckers'. most of them are filthy little sluts who come home from their first deployment with a fanny like a wizards sleeve.

> the british navy

please stop with this stale meme

How many dicks do you suck a day, sailor?

Maybe thats why britain has such a big navy. Youre all a bunch of queers

lol what a bunch of queers

In dubai all the eastern european whores carry photocopies of their passports around with them, and thus was born a 'sport'. You'd steal their passport photocopies after shagging them and bring it back to the mess. After a week alongside in dubai we must have had 50 of these passport photocopies on the walls of our mess.

You should repent instead of trying to brag on a Mongolian chess enthusiast url you fucking degenerate fruitcake.

What's the % of non-white Brits in your ship?

Wow what a badass. You must have a huge cock.

We closed up in defence watches, 6 hours on, 6 hours off, I managed to blag the Forenoon/First (7am until 1pm - 7pm until 1am) this seemed preferable to me as it wasn't too different to my normal sleep pattern anyway. As the watches blended together and we all transformed into zombies, we were joined by a group of US Coast Guard guys, who lived down our mess. They were exactly how yank soldiers and marines are portrayed in films, gungho to the max, built like brick shithouses and thick as fuck. On the whole they were nice guys but they couldn't drink and managed to piss most of us off after a few days. For some reason they all chewed tobacco and would spit it into beer cans which they then left lying around the mess. They were the butt of many jokes, easys and gash bites and I think they thoroughly hated their stay. It all came to blows one day when one of them explained that he was into wrestling (ie that grappling shit) on asking if any of us wrestled, a large lad called Keith, explained that he did, the yank challenged him to a match. Unfortunately for the young yanky Keith's style of wrestling was based more on what he had seen on WWF than ivy league college wrestling. Keith bounced the poor cnut around the mess giving him the people's elbow and holding him down while the rest of us bounced our cocks on his head and rubbed our sweaty hoops on his face. For some reason his oppos took offence to this and our relationship with the yanks soured.

just keeping up traditions, shipwreck.

We don't want to hear your maple faggot ass either, Chink

Tell story, op

honestly that is probably the most homo shit i've ever read, and i've read some pretty gay shit

>royal navy
how many gay sexual contacts did you have?

Burn in hell you godless son of a bitch.

Do British ships still carry a little boy around meant to be the designated fleshlight for the Ship's Captain and the other senior officers?

are you the construction worker/the cop or the indian

We'll be joining soon, faggot. I'll show you up in person when we train together.

How does it feel to ride on a long solid tube filled with seamen?

...

Kek

The next day we did some shopping and had a fairly calm all day sesh. In the evening we went to a fast food restaurant, something called 'Jollibee' similar to a Wimpy back home, i.e. not as good as a Maccy Dees. Outside was a life size cardboard cutout of Spiderman that was advertising their latest promotion.

We decided to steal it.

As we distracted the staff, Smokey pulled Spiderman off his stand and started casually walking off at a reasonable speed. Once round the corner we followed suit and legged it. As the four or five of us sprinted down the street carrying Spidey, we heard a police siren and bright lights were shone into our eyes and we heard the sound of guns being cocked.

Fuck.

They arrested us at gunpoint and we were searched against a wall. They bundled us onto the back of a small pickup (like a Bedford Rascal) we were handcuffed to a bench and driven through town to the nick. We spotted loads of lads from the ship in the highstreet, they all just gave us 'WTF?' looks. I suppose it's not everyday you see 5 lads sat on a garden bench on the back of a Bedford Rascal pickup.

The police questioned us for fucking hours, giving us the occasional open palmed slap across the face for good measure. Eventually the restaurant owner decided he couldn't be bothered to press charges and after about 7 hours, the coppers let us go, even giving us a lift back to the ship. This was a bad thing, getting dropped off by a police car meant we'd have to go in the ship's incident log.

A quick bribe from my casino winnings sorted out the situation. They also wanted a souvenir from the ship so one of the lads ran onboard and bundled a cap, some zap stickers and a fire extinguisher (why?) into a kit bag and handed it over to them.
While I learnt my lesson, Smokey had clearly grown a taste for stealing life size figurines from fast food restaurants, because some years later he did this:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8106103.stm

Are you going to stop the black invaders in the mediterran sea and ship them
BACK TO THEIR COUNTRY?

I red Germany, GB and France want to do that

jpost.com/Breaking-News/Germany-plans-to-stop-migrant-boats-from-crossing-Mediterranean-472455

Haha you made a funny

hah nice

ever met canadian sailors? I knew a french sailor once and he must not be fun to be around when in a uniform

Sage

Kek,there husbands must be cucks. Do you all ravage them? Like,do you pass the wrens around and take turns ploughing there cum dripping holes? I might join if that's the case.

>british
>navy

Have you found the golden rivet?