Can anyone stop the all powerful florida man?

Can anyone stop the all powerful florida man?

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usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/01/16/new-california-declares-independence-california-bid-become-51st-state/1036681001/
worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-zoo-employee-killed-while-attempting-to-rape-alligator/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

aquaman is FUCKED

Anytime a story headline starts with “Florida man”, you know you’re in for a treat.

Can we just cut Florida off the rest of the country and let it float out to sea to be it's own private hellscape that none of the rest of America have to deal with it anymore? The sooner we get rid of Florida, the sooner we can start to get the rest of this country back on track.

>Can we just cut california off the rest of the country and let it float out to sea to be it's own private hellscape that none of the rest of America have to deal with it anymore? The sooner we get rid of california, the sooner we can start to get the rest of this country back on track.
FTFY

But... you can already use a Glock underwater. Fairly well, actually, as long as you have adequate ear protection.

Florida is basically Australia the state.

This nigga gets it.

>wanting to get rid of the NCR
You must be one of those goddamn Legionnaires.

When was the last time you had to live in fear or confusion or both at the antics of California Man, user?

Not him, but every time I step out of my front door.

God I hate SoCal.

who should we get to write Florida man and why is it Moore?

Well, don't worry, the NCR will take care of that. Unfortunately, though, there is no saving Florida, and that nightmarish terrorland is dragging the rest of this country down.

What is berkley

Except the humans are the predators

California Man is worse, the problem is Florida Man is fun and goofy a lot of the time, California Man is just a depressing monster.
It's
>Man rapes Alligator
vs
>Man freezes Kitten

>Black manta.jpg

Florida definitely has plenty of crazies... but I seem to recall something about how the crimes are reported in Florida being part of it.

Other states might not release statements when "local man robs store wearing only a diving mask", but reporters can just skim the reports for odd crimes in Florida if they ever need a story.

Twice a week in florida

Just cut off Miami. Guarantee Florida will improve 300% by that act alone.

>This
Florida has white trash bro's, comfy old people and the best Cuban sandwiches.All California has is an impending cataclysmic earthquake.
Florida 2
California 0

I'm far more terrified by a man who can rape a fucking alligator, a goddamn modern day dinosaur, over a man who freezes kittens.

This sentiment isn't knew, dude.

Whats twice a week?

The old people need to fucking leave or just not be able to vote.
We'd probably have recreational marijuana here by now, but since these geezers grew up during refer madness and moved here to die, we don't get shit.

Well, where else are they supposed to go? Everyone knows Florida is God's Waiting Room.

Honestly wonder if future cvilizations will regard florida rest homes as a sort of human equivalent if an elephant graveyard. Also agree they should be able to vote, along with at least 70% of america.

>go to new york for NYCC
>an really excited as ive wanted to go for years
>nothing but angery niggs cursing you out and a horde of homeless
Seriously firebomb that shithole, what a cesspool of a city

But we'd still have California

This can't be real.

I mean, the first thing you get when searching is Florida Man beat California Man to raping the alligator.

I keep telling you guys that the NCR is coming to fix this problem. Or make it worse. I don't know, I'm not a fucking clairvoyant.

usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/01/16/new-california-declares-independence-california-bid-become-51st-state/1036681001/

Raping aligator is real, was making rounds online about a year back

California: the largest economy in the country and the place where all the products we buy to shitpost online are designed.
Florida: a glorified water park that'll be part of the Caribbean in 10 years tops.

Florida Man is more a danger to himself than others...

DELETE

FLORIDA

NOW

worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-zoo-employee-killed-while-attempting-to-rape-alligator/

To be fair, Lionfish are a pretty serious thing right now, and you get paid pretty nicely for them
Plus, Lionfish dip is really good

Florida Man is the hero we deserve.

California Man is the villian he must fight.

How did they get their anyways? Arent they from africa?

Haha, yeah, Florida Man is much more light hearte-

Actually my shitpost box is Chinese.
Besides it's not as though Cali isn't one Hard Jostle away from sinking into the sea anyways.

>florida zoo employee killed while attempting to rape alligator

Guess California Man wins!

I'm not sure what.

California has
>the best drinks/food/ingredients in the country
>beautiful sunsets
>friendly and welcoming people
>wonderful amusement parks
>best options for viewing/making theater and film
>no snow days
y'all can fuck right off

India.

They're aquarium fish that got released, and since there's nothing that can predate them in the atlantic, they're an invasive predatory species.

The only people who should have voting rights revoked are antivaxxers.

hot

Florida Man's name was Jimmy Olsen.

Dont show this to shadman