You're tasked with rebooting these mascots for the tumblr/SJW generation. How would you do it?

You're tasked with rebooting these mascots for the tumblr/SJW generation. How would you do it?

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I'd suck a Chinese man's cherry if you know what I mean

I... actually do not.

>Injun
>Orange

Cishet Cherry and Incel Orange

Wheelchair bound transgender black berry.
Genderqueer Hispanic amputee lemonade

It's simple. Give them both the same round shape (but different sizes), give them the same Calarts face, keep the hair, change their colors to something pastel, and name them the most common name from their cultures you find on Google. Then stick nonsensical but inoffensive catchphrases in a couple of speech balloons for them.

Nazi Punch instead of Hawaiian Punch.

>red chinese
>orange injun
Clearly these are supposed to be about the funny faces

Almost. If they’re the same shape they’ll say you’re being shapist.

If they're all round you can just counter any accusations of shapism with fatphobia

Honestly, this.

...

Like this?

Double down.

>Ching Chong Ping Pong I Wourd Rike to Sing Song Cherry
>Overweight Gambling Addict Alcoholic Hobo Orange

Easy, I just use the exact same designs and if somebody complains I ignore them.
Nothing is gained by capitulating to complainers but a following can potentially be gained by refusing to do so.

How is this even offensive? Its not saying either group is bad

I mean, Injun is a racial slur, an old timey one, but one nevertheless.

...

>I mean, Injun is a racial slur
Somebody should tell India

Vent about your rejected janitor application somewhere else, seriously. If this legitimately outrages you, you should be on another website (rhymes with "go back to stumbler").

swap their names

native naranja

We already got Annoying Orange so that's covered.

How about... Cherry Cheri? The adorable French gal who's so cute you could just eat her up wait no that caters to the vore community strike that nevermind.

As a kid, I was told the reason we called native Americans Indians was because Columbus was looking for a passage to India, and, when he came across the Americas, he presumed that he had reached India and therefore, the people living where he found them would therefore be Indians. At that time, according to the oldest terrestrial globe we have, "india" referred to pretty much all of southeast asia.

What may have really happened I'm not entirely sure. That's the explanation I heard.

Shouldn't the colors be the other way around?

How did my mother survive her childhood with these offensive juice thingies? Tsk tsk.

>amputee lemonade
BRUTAL

theyalwayscomeback.blogspot.com/2008/01/funny-face-drink-mix.html

No need to worry, these things lasted all of two years.

That's because your mother didn't grow up with my latest idea for a product: Whitey Water.

El cosa prohibida

>Cherry
>Orange
Done.

What's an injun

Indian.
Which is what was the term for "Native American" for a long time.

Because of, presumably, a geological snafu.

Change the cherry to a lemon and the orange to a cherry.

reddit raspberry

Get this man a promotion

Tumblr tomato

Check your priviledge Cherry and BRAGGALD FRAMPF Orange

Good god what kinda person would want a tomato flavored sugary children's drink

Nice trips.

IIRC that is the actual origin of why american natives were called indians.
As an aside I personally always liked the the pronunciation "injun" because it always made me imagine a man made out of a diesel car engine which is pretty fucking metal.
>ywnb an "engine american"

Sup Forums phimosis

>cherry blossom sour cherry
Have the art be a cherry tree and have a panda or some shit
>insert whatever tribes in Florida that live near the orange trees sweet orange
Just put up some artwork done by them or a famous tribe member

Done