Dilbert

How does he keep satirizing the workplace so succinctly?

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blog.dilbert.com/2017/05/23/the-time-i-nudged-climate-scientists-into/
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Scott Adams knows the meaning of that life and that miserly bastard is drip-feeding the rest of us. If I don't comprehend it by the time I'm dead, I'm gonna be fucking pissed.

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I love Dilbert.
3/4 of the strips are re-hashed premises or punchlines but the original stuff always makes me laugh

Where's the shock collar, Sup Forums?

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He hasn't spent a day at work for the last decade at least.

On his dick, you sweet innocent user.

If you read a book of his you find out he receives dozens of emails of office drones needing someone to vent to every day.

I-I thought it was his tie...

We had a meeting about harrasment a few months ago and it basically boiled down to this:

If you know someone well, you can joke around with them. If someone overhears you and finds what you said offensive, they can go complain to HR. Harassment is determined by the "victim" so basically if you say anything that's not about work to someone they can go complain

this is the first time I've laughed at Dilbert in a decade

I'm going to blame Dilbert trauma for being a useless parasite without a job instead of my own laziness.

These comics are so lukewarm.

Why the fuck isn't Dilbert wearing a white shirt and up-curled tie?

Still using that font he bought in the '90s for his lettering, I see.

Their company got a new dress code several years ago.

Dilbert's a saucy bitch ain't he?

Ranch
or cool ranch?

fucking BURN

burn
also
>the name tag doesn't curl up

They all talk about how they have to wear bomb disposal suits now that more stringent sexual harassment policies are in place, I assume?

Or about how the shock collar chaff?

>How does he keep satirizing the workplace so succinctly?

the actual answer to this is that he asks readers to email him stories about their office environments and then gets material out of those stories. he's been doing that since the 90s.

Always like Adams. Just wish he weren't such a completely insane evolution-denier crazy person who talks about himself positively on the internet with sockpuppet accounts.

I hope I don't end up hating my job like everybody else does. I've been enjoying working in an office so far, but every time I see Dilbert I wonder if I'm just stupid for not noticing bad things around me?

Yeah, that's probably the easy answer.
Or you are just new and idealistic like Asok.

>I hope I don't end up hating my job like everybody else does.

Picking a line of work you like does help. There's of course no helping to the fact that hell is other people.

I have been working there for a few months at this point

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>a completely insane evolution-denier

Didn't this get debunked a few threads ago?

You mean your policy is "Know your Audience?" Horror of horrors your poor fucking baby

If the message of this comic wasn't either "climate scientists are frauds" or "I want attention; I know, I'll call climate scientists frauds", Adams needs to work on his messaging skills.

You might just need to work on your reading comprehension skills.

>If someone overhears you saying something to someone that isn't them that they don't approve of, that's harassment.

do you know what jokes are, user

>How does he keep satirizing the workplace so succinctly?
He uses a rarely utilised trick of not treating his fanbase like they're fucking idiots.

Um, yes sweetie, it is. If you tell a joke degrading women to your bud and a woman overhears it, they absolutely have the right to be upset and call HR.

It isn't even some newfangled SJW trickery designed to smash the patriarchy; that policy has basically been SOP for every company for fucking decades. How retarded are you? Real life isn't like the fucking internet you knob

"UGH, these days it feels like you have to walk around in a hazmat suit just to talk to people, everybody's so scared of triggering each other"
and
"lol, if they really want to keep these guys from harassing girls, they should tie a shock collar around their dick"

Its all about coworkers, user. If you have good coworkers it can make everything great.

But finding something you don't hate is also really important.

>dongles

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I never read the comic much but the cartoon was way better than it had any right to be.

I AGREE

>never liked Dilbert as a kid
>get job as programmer
>read Dilbert
>it's the funniest comic on earth

Economic models are not science, user

>Two, please.
I finally get it. Heh.

>be me
>do a 2-4-1 STEM degrees program
>Not a programmer
>get hired in insurance
>internal programmer
>learn how to program on the job
>literally the only engineer-like position in the company

Half of Dilbert is hilarious
The other half is a sad reminder of what my life currently is

>pic related: sales people are some of the dumbest people on the planet
>can confirm

I don't work a tech job but can verify that sales people are the sleaziest bunch of fucks you can ever know. The ones I work with genuinely feel they are all that keeps the business functioning.

This is obvious policy, the above user is making mountains out of molehills.

Imagine two of your coworkers loudly talking about what a piece of shit you are while you're in the room. You go to HR. Should they be able to say, "Uh, we weren't talking to user, it's none of his business." No, of course not.

This isn't new HR policy and it isn't SJW propaganda. If something is inappropriate for the office, you can't say it within earshot of people in the office. It's common sense.

>Walks into work
>Say "sup faggot" to your boss on the way in
>Ask female coworker to show you her tits or gtfo
>Gossip with customer about how your thot coworker is such a slut and how you're going to bang her later
>Get called into HR
>A different customer was watching and reported you
>Get fired
>FUCKING SJWs GOT ME FIRED FROM MY JOB FUCKING SHIT

I gather from what little I read of his work that isnt Dilbert he really likes to shitpost. I thinks its pointless baiting but he seems to think it's some jedi mindtrick to fuck with retards to prove a point.

>tell a joke at normal conversation tone with a coworker
>someone not involved in the joke and who has no context amd walks in gets you fired because they never learned conflict remediation beyond telling a teacher
I don't care, I hate everyone at work anyway and don't talk to them. I'm just glad everything is trending the direction I was going in anyway.

Whenever I read DIlbert, I always hear the voices from the animated series in by head, even though I haven't seen it in well over 15 years. The casting in that was perfection.

or they could just improve HR management and open communication, like how most professional workplaces deal with misconduct.

The entertainment business is a shitshow, who'da thunk.

evidently they didn't hire a very good climate scientist if that's the best he can do.

Because none of it has changed. This has been a sticking point in the workplace since the 80's.
I remember shows satirizing extremely brittle people twenty years ago. Nowadays they're praised as brave souls who stood up to their oppressors.

The problem is that they ignore basic trends to have fun graphing and then just throw that into the mix without thinking aboit what it might do to the average. Its terrible persuasion to present a worst case scenario that is completly out of left field like 98% of the worlds energy being coal in a decade. Thats not a worst case scenario, thats lowering the collective IQ of the world by fifty points and assuming they are all Captain Planet villians.

But climate scientists don't use economic models, nor do they dismiss any certified models.

Economic models are what is used to determine what the consequences of warming will be

I think I will be using this image a lot around here.

blog.dilbert.com/2017/05/23/the-time-i-nudged-climate-scientists-into/
woah...
he's right you know

>DAE Drumpf is actually SUPER SMERT you gaiz!

Just another boomer faggot with an axe to grind against "da gubmint" and "Obummer and his stoopid climate change"

>didnt read the post and went straight for a strawman
He thinks climate change is real and ranks obama way more highly than I think he should, but keep stuffing those bags, Im sure someone as aggressively wrong as you will be impressed

this should be a banner

His stance is that trump is a good con artist, but don't let his actual words stop you from making retarded statements.

explain

wally wants a mint for both of his ears

He wants to continue to not hear things

the trick to not getting in trouble is to act professionally in a professional environment.
This is not a "you are badwrongfun and we're taking away your rights", this is "don't talk about smashing pussy or hating on fags and niggers in a workplace environment. If you want to trashtalk like a twelve-year-old 24/7 do construction work"

>implying climate scientists aren't frauds

I agree on professionalism, I hate everyone at work who think its okay to be friends with other people. I reported a woman the other day for using 'faghag' as a descriptor with another friend, I knew she was using it to describe herself and she was joking but I still got her shaken enough she no longer talks to her friend. Its a great system and I hope it continues and I support it fully.

>con artist
He's turned into a sincere supporter over time, and I like that.

The thing is, the sales people are *right* to an extent. "No-one buys this shit? No-one has a job".

But only to an extent. There has to be something to sell. What you sell has to work. Otherwise god help you particularly if you're in the B2B space. Because you're not selling to people who's only recourse is a bad online review.

At the same time, the way salespeople are managed tends to be the most cutthroat shit you can imagine. Sales departments generally make the Deceptions look like the sacred band of Thebes.

so you're saying he got conned

they are only right to the extent that that logic of importance applies to all other roles in the company.

he's not a blind supporter though, he still points out when trump makes mistakes and is willing to go back on all support if they do anything to crack down on weed

>Scott is DUDE WEED LMAO
Dropped

I'm not saying they're not important, but good God, you would think they could walk on water.

I'm sick of getting calls from retarded sales people who think that I exist to make their lives easier. They think that just because I have access to the records that I somehow control what's in them.

>"Hey, why am I getting paid less this week?"
I don't know numbnuts, is the client paying us or do you just like going to dinner with no follow up?

>"This client isn't assigned to me any more, get them taken off my distribution list"
What makes you think I can change that?

They always got the stupid smile on their face like we're buddies because the only professional skill they have is socializing.
And yeah, I get it's a cutthroat world in sales, but you'll forgive me for lacking sympathy when I see all the dinners and drinks they're comped while I'm working late.

You could always get a job with the government. No salespeople there.

Plenty of dead eyed walking corpses who seemingly only exist to keep people who want to work from accomplishing anything, but no salespeople.