Dear Journal

Hi, it's me Doug. Today...

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/user/HelterSkeeter
youtube.com/watch?v=Ls4DgFwWoTM
youtube.com/watch?v=7bww5r3F3e8
youtube.com/watch?v=oQXtiaO9vCo
youtube.com/watch?v=VmzGS9Dtdr0
youtube.com/watch?v=bseXct1YcbU
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Mr Bone raped me.

I met Patty... and her husband.

Her husband was Mr Bone. He raped her too.

501!

I DID WHAT?

YOU
BROKE
MY
O
RING
!?!?!

Yeah, you raped me and Patty. And I'm never gonna forget it.

today i had a date with pattie mayonaaise, but I was too shy to kiss her

Why did people even watch this show?

bomb in the lasagna

... I lost my virginity, and Skeeter was there too!

Farther than I got.

>the window
oh lawd

...

Switch him out for Judy.

>Dear Slim, I wrote you but still ain't callin'

Uhh, entertainment. Isn't that why we watch any show.

Then things got really awkward when Porkchop started humping Patty's leg.

I found red gold.

I learned about fucking an old man in the ass, his shit was so warm in my balls it was like i was butt fucking an angel

>This is the real reason why they left boneville

I raped Patti

There was nothing else on and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna go outside.

Mr. Dink said he wasn't going to rape me today. He lied.

... I went to Skeeter’s house and saw him “bumping uglies”, as Mr. Dink puts it... with Patti. My best friend, and he betrayed me.

So I went to Mr. Dink’s to ask for advice. He told me that I should join in so it could be a... “Menage a twa”? Mr. Dink says funny words sometimes. I told him that I want Patti for myself, and he said that swinging can be more fun, that he sometimes calls Roger’s dad over so both Mr. Dink and him can spitroast Ms. Dink. He can be strange.

Anyway, I decided to get revenge on my ex best friend. I called Roger up and paid him a dollar and some pop to do the forbidden dance with Patti. I wanted Skeeter to be jealous and broken... I was supposed to be the only “Skeeter” in Patti.

After Roger did the job, I felt worse. Is revenge supposed to feel like crud? I then thought it’d be best to call up and pay another guy, then felt bad and called yet another man to plow Patti’s flower field. It got to a point where almost all the men of Bluffington had their way with her... Now I hear people calling her “Mayonnaise” but for the wrong reasons.

Almost all the men... but not me. I thought I had a shot, so for protective measures and to be sure I was a shoe-in for intercourse with Patti, I came to her house as Quail Man. When she answered the door and saw me, she saw through my ruse and asked why I had a belt on my head and underwear on the outside of my pants. She was not impressed... I asked for the sex, and she told me no, and that I’m only just a friend to her.

Quail me.

Time to end this entry with the Quail Man belt and the shower curtain.

anyone got the liefeld one?

Dear journal…October third, 2009.

It has…uh…come t’my attention dat…certain in-da-vidyals out dere have been uhh…trying to sell Quailman merchandise. Let me jus’ say at dis point dere is NO OFFICIAL QUAILMAN MERCHANDISE. Furdermore, QUAILMAN, QUAILDOG, SILVER SKEETER an all da udder characters are copyright ME — DOUGLAS YANCY FUNNY.

Hmm.

Now, TROLLS OUT DERE — I know yer watchin’ me…an’ torchruin’ me jus’ like dat darn Mr. Bone from..uh..from back at middle school. But what yer doin is…what yer doin is wrong. An you know what?

I got yer pichure CLYDE CASH. Sent to me from one-a mah TRUE AND HONEST QUAIL PALS over da internet. An..uh…an uh if you don’ WANT ME TA CALL DA POLICE you better BACK DA FUCK OFF! LEAVE ME ALONE! ME, MAH FAMILY — mah sister Judy, she don’t…she don’t even talk ta mah parents or me no more an’ so just…just leave dem alone, okay? ESPECIALLY MY PREVIOUS SPECIAL GALPALS, or DA COMICS WILL CEASE!

Finally…some special apologies. Patti…Ah’m really sorry…about dat night and I….and I really hope dat maybe you can…lift dat uh…restrainin’ order. I…uh…mmm…I said some things dat..uh…I shouldn’t uh…done…and Ah’m sorry I kept..uh…puttin’ mah arm around you…mmmm…..yeah.

An’ also…da manager of Honker Burger, I am truly sorry fer what Ah sed. Ah’m not a racist in-a-vidyal — one’a my best friends in middle school and also high school was BLUE. BLUE! An’ I’ll never try ta come back behind da counter to da employees area again, I’m sorry, so PLEASE let me come back. PLEASE.

And remember, I’m STRAIGHT. And SINGLE. Ladies! Boyfriend-free ages 18-27 in dah Bluffington area…come seee me IN PERSON if ya want ta..want ta ask me out. Honest. True. Kind. No blue people.

As always, curse da trolls — eberybody else, PEACE and hab a nice day.

Today was our big game against Bloatsburg, and right in middle of the halftime show, I took off my clothes, greased myself up with chicken fat, and ran out across the field. I didn't want to do it- for a little while, I thought I wasn't going to- but the voices were persistent, and Judy stole my tinfoil hat to use in her dumb play.

Wasn't there an argument about who's more fun/easy/interesting to twist, on Sup Forums, between Doug and Arthur?
I remember people saying that Doug was the clear winner, since all Arthur has going for it, are its "that episode when..." threads.

Anyways, does anyone have the Eldritch abomination posts?

Your nose got in the way.

You know what they say about guys with big noses, don't ya?

Mainly for the moments when Doug would have his schizophrenic daydreams.

His nose is a chode so he had chode dick

I only watched if nothing else was on. But I can say that the show was snoozeville, and when I tried playing it on Hulu for my kids, they started screaming at me.

...Skeeter was black wasn't he?

Actually all the characters that were more likely to be a minority race were colored blue, purple, or green. What the fuck? Is there a sign of the creators of Doug just really not liking shades of brown?

Honk Honk

best post right here

The Rich Purple chick could have been a Jew, but her dad seemed pretty Huwyte.

I always saw Patti as a Castiza.
But is is funny that in a world of fantastically shaded humans, the lone caucasian is still the protagonist. And yet, a hopeless, adrift sperg.

Was this prophetic?

why would you subject new kids to this? It wasnt great, it wasnt bad. It was just slightly better than news or a game show.
you could literally plug youtube into your tv and hit a random selection and it would be better on average

>Rich purple jew
user... they were DINKs
Dual Income No Kids.
kids are very expensive

We need more of these

The Dinks are definitely Jews, but Beebe Bluff is purple too. I don't think the colors are 1:1 analogs.

Yeah, Mr. Bluff was definitely a WASP.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I tried. Part of me just wanted to see if my tastes matured and could sit through a Doug episode, which I suppose they did since I turned it off after 5 minutes. Although, it was funny seeing them hate it, so I got a laugh.

This channel is great: youtube.com/user/HelterSkeeter

My favorites:
youtube.com/watch?v=Ls4DgFwWoTM
youtube.com/watch?v=7bww5r3F3e8
youtube.com/watch?v=oQXtiaO9vCo
youtube.com/watch?v=VmzGS9Dtdr0
youtube.com/watch?v=bseXct1YcbU

>I met Patty... and her husband.

He actually talked about that on the nick podcast where he hasn't seen her in years and patty (people called her flatty patty) ended up getting fake tits. Jim Jenkins was all like ," PP-P-PATTY? YOU GOT buh-b-BOOBS!!!!"

What a fucking spurg.

This is great!

Like, I really hate the Alpha/beta discourse which is so common...

But Doug was fucking beta.

Underrated.

...

So place your bets, did Judy go full dyke, or coalburner?

What?

Mignola style probably.

>The window

I think that post was referencing the story