Is the world ready for the return of Freddie Freaker?

Is the world ready for the return of Freddie Freaker?

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youtu.be/MmOiRyWLug0
youtube.com/watch?v=DIPpowKsJN0
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Yeah but it's 2 bucks a call

>Yeah but it's 2 bucks a call

But it's worth it if you want to see what's scamming from New York to LA.

PETAH! FREDDY FREAKER IS DANCING IN OUR LIVING ROOM!

I'm pretty sure that that's one of the signs of the apocalypse.

No one wants to join the party the fast and easy way anymore.

>not using the Freddie Freaker Special Edition CG upgrade

FFFFFREDDY FREAKAH

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
HOLY FUCK
OH DEAR GOD
ANYTHING BUT HIM

>2 DOLLARS A SIIIIIIIIIN!

man, that thread was legendary. didn't somebody find the guy who made the original "puppet"?

>didn't somebody find the guy who made the original "puppet"?

I saved the pics!

oh god oh christ oh no why would you do that

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>yfw you join the party the fast and easy way

So they had a poseable puppet but they just got a cheap rubber one and wiggled it around for the commercial?

>commercial
HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE HOLY SCRIPTURE

>So they had a poseable puppet but they just got a cheap rubber one and wiggled it around for the commercial?

But it's the incredible shittiness of that commercial that makes it unforgettable. Don't go looking for ways to "improve" it.

youtu.be/MmOiRyWLug0

Fuck you, I'm not made of money.

From what I remember the plan was basically to market this character and turn him into a thing and their plan was to make him popular via a 900 line (since it was cheap to set up) before doing more stuff like toys, etc. They hired the guy to design him and make a full puppet but never called him back and it wasn't until a few years ago that the dude finally saw the commercial.

>Fuck you, I'm not made of money.

The commercial was funny, but these bi-weekly attempts to thrust Freddie into the meme limelight is a bit sad.

What makes it funnier is how apparent it is that they had no idea what they were doing. They thought "dancing puppet and song" would be enough to entice people to spend two dollars despite not really knowing just what they were calling for.

Look at those abs, this guy is ripped.

Freddie Freaker threads aren't as abundant as you seem to think they are. They're rare and precious.

I never knew about him when he was a thing. What did he do, just an automated calling service that told jokes or something?

Apparently. The guy who made the character (but otherwise had nothing to do with the business) said that's what his impression was of what they were going to do. As far as I know, nobody who actually worked on it (other than the designer) has said anything and nobody that ever actually called has turned up.

They really aren't. I see them every other week, easily.

FREDDIE FREAKERRRRRR

It's a 900 number in the 80's so my guess is it was phone sex

Well I mean, it IS the Freak Phone

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freaky photos of freddy's funky fucking cock when?

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it was the same puppet apparently, so it was poseable and everything, they just didn't use those features for the commercial.

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youtube.com/watch?v=DIPpowKsJN0

One Freak
Two Freak
Three Freak
Four

This thread needs more rare Freddies

Now the freak is at your door!

While Freddy Freaker's history remains largely unknown, some analysts have been able to piece together a semi-cohesive story based on the bits and pieces we know. Way back in the 1940's, the Coca Cola corporation brought out a new variety of soda, Fanta, which would be primarily marketed in Nazi Germany due to the lack of availability of ingredients to create traditional Coke, as well as a reduced market due to general Anti-American sentiments. Many high-ranking Nazi officers, namely Heinrich Himmler, were fond of cola and were saddened by its lack of presence in the Third Reich. To circumvent this, he and his fellow officers struck up a deal with The Coca-Cola Co. to transport several tons of soda into Germany via airdrops. Orders were issued for several thousands of reserve soldiers to travel to the site of the drop and commence the construction of massive tunnels and underground regions to store the large cache of soda. On August 3rd, 1943, Several Coca-Cola branded B-24 bombers flew over a rural region near Berlin, dropping at least 40 1-ton packages of soda, which were promptly stored underground. Daily trips were made between the cache and the bunkers of the officers. Adolf Hitler himself was rumored to have become quite fond of the soda due to its increased availability. Tragedy then struck in the winter of that year, when a reckless British air-raid demolished the cache in its entirety. The officers, though saddened by their lack of soda, abandoned the caves out of necessity, knowing the local area was too dangerous for venturing out to the soda cache anyway. Over the proceeding years, the high acidic content of Fanta ate away at the limestone floor of the Cache, traveling deeper and deeper into the planet's crust, unbeknown to anyone on Earth. This all changed on May 1st, 1945, where a largely believed-to-be-dead Adolf Hitler discovered the cave's secrets.

He had staged his suicide the day prior, escaping into temporary exile via one of the previously mentioned soda running tunnels to ride out the aftermath of the war. However, upon arriving, it was discovered that the soda had revealed a collection of seemingly ancient runes. A crack team of Nazi scientists were able to decipher the runes, discovering that they revealed the location of a portal to what appeared to be another dimension. This dimension was the realm of an race of Elder Deities, uncomprehensibile to the human mind. Hitler then rushed the location of this portal and traversed between dimensions. He could not understand his surroundings, for they were too complex to make sense of. He couldn't take it any longer and returned back to his native dimension, but what he saw remained with him. Every time he closed his eyes, he felt like he was transported right back. He grew deathly ill, losing a severe amount of weight and suffering from frequent violent and explosive bursts of bloody vomit and diarrhea. After many days and nights of endless suffering, he succumbed to his sickness and fell limp. His corpse then grew brittle and hard, crystallizing like a cocoon. He remained in this state for several decades, until the location of his death was discovered by a team of archaeologists in the late 1980s, led by Ronald Milton MacFarlane. By this time, the portal had long been dormant, but the Hitler-Cocoon remained largely the same as it was the day it had formed. Carelessly, one archaeologist made contact with the cocoon, agitating it and causing it to explode into several large glass-like shards. All were killed in this explosion except Ron MacFarlane, who survived with major lacerations all over his body. Out of the dust and debris stepped a small, highly-distinct creature.

This was the "Freddy Freaker" the ancient runes had prophesied. Ron, having narrowly escaped the cave, had assumed the worst was behind him. However, his team had unleashed an unspeakable threat upon mankind. Using the cave as his center of operations, Freaker quickly set up a telephone operations center, from which his hotline operated. It is largely held that Freddy Freaker, being an Eldritch demon, uses his phone line as a means of locating prey for him to consume, further increasing his power. Based on an amalgamation of ancient texts, it is said Freddy will claim victims and grow his strength until the year 2050, at which time he will bring about the Final Judgment Days and, subsequently, the end of the Age of Man.

>This thread needs more rare Freddies

10/10
Would read again

>8-freak-6-freak-2-freak-4
>Now the freak is at your door